• Welcome! It’s great to see you. Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

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Dogsarelife93

New member
Joined
Jul 28, 2020
Messages
2
Location
Los angeles
For as long as I can remember I’ve had the worst relationship with food. I’m kind of convinced I might have binge eating disorder but I haven’t gotten professionally diagnosed. As a child I was pretty average sized, I was a little chubby as I got older but I wasn’t overweight. I’m 20 years old now and very overweight. I look back at old photos and cry because I was average sized, yet all I ever heard from family was that I was fat. I have a bad relationship with my father and as of right now I can barely eat one meal with him and it has to be with the rest of my family. Today he got mad I was getting crumbs on his new paint job he did on the kitchen counter and for some reason that triggered me and I’ve been hiding in my room since. I cried about it to my mom and she said I was being dramatic but my dad constantly tells me to go out running, to stop eating. He always gives me this look of disgust and he never shows me any affection. Right now I have such a strong urge to go into the fridge and just eat everything in sight but I can’t bring myself to eat anything at the same time. I’m kind of ranting right now but I don’t know who else to talk to. My father has made worse comments before and I think it’s contributed to the bad relationship I have with food. Whenever I do want to eat In front Of him I get this sinking feeling in my stomach and as soon as I’m done with my meal I rush to the bathroom and cry, yet I want to binge even more. Anyone else have episodes like this ?
 
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bpd2020

Well-known member
Joined
May 25, 2020
Messages
2,199
Location
England
Hello dogsarelife. I am so sorry for all that is going on. Your dads comments and the way he treats you is very cruel and your mum dismissing your feelings towards his behaviour is very invalidating. It is horrible your family make comments on your weight when they should be understanding. I would suggest seeking a therapist to explore your relationship with food. I have binge eating disorder and I have found therapy to be very helpful.
 
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Purpleplum

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 7, 2020
Messages
715
Location
U.S.
It's that kind of family dynamic that leads a person to an eating disorder unfortunately. If it's any consolation, you'll improve when you get out of that environment.

For now, you'll need to learn assertiveness which those with ED's are lacking in. Use your words instead of food to express your feelings. Tell them to stop and tell your dad how he's making you feel. Try to hold back your emotions and do that assertively.

Tell you mother you are not too dramatic and that she's not supporting you. Tell her your feelings do matter.
 
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