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I’m not lying

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Steph1823417

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Joined
Dec 13, 2017
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4
This may be long but need others point of views.

I have been with my now husband ( married July 2017)for over 11 years. We have 2 children 10 and 5 and I had two kids before 17 and 13. Our relationship was great we would barely fight. Then all of a sudden things turned for the worse in April. I started being accused of sleeping with his friend ( groomsmen) who is also my best friend (maid of honor) husband. We have all been friends for 20 years. Well needless to say things got bad and they both backed out of the wedding. Although what the accusations were it never happened. And now I no longer have my best friend. Worse part is we work together and now it’s difficult at work. Then after all that I was accused of working with cops against my husband. Having secret meetings with people. Secretly talking to other men. Apparently I slept with like 20 people including his brother. I just want to point out that in the 11 years I have never cheated on or even put myself in the position.
Things got better for awhile and nothing was brought. We were good like we used to. We decided to sell our home and purchase a new one. ( which is closing after the holidays) and now it’s back to I’m a liar. And I cheated. And I did this and that. I don’t know what to do anymore. I have been to counseling. And he said he would to. But then the time came and he backed out. Said there’s no point of going if I’m not going to be honest. But that’s the point I have been honest the whole time.

Don’t get me wrong I love my husband so so much. We have been through so much in 11 years. But this is taking a toll on me and I really don’t know what else to do. I need to prove to him I have been faithful our entire relationship and I haven’t been lying to him about anything but I really don’t know what to do. I’m at a loss and feeling like I’m losing myself.
Help
 
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schizophrenic123

Guest
Hi Steph. I believe that you have been honest with him and it's not your fault if he's not believing you. You tried to get him into couples therapy but he refused. I'm not sure if their is anything you can do. Your going to keep telling him your innocent and he's going to continue to believe what he wants to believe. I really hope someone gives you some better advice but I had something similar happen with my family and I have no other options, I do hope you can convince him to save your marriage and go to therapy with you. Good Luck to both of you.
 
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SunnyDaze

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Hi Steph.

I'm sorry for what you're going through.I don't really have any solutions for you.I don't think there's really any way you can prove to him that you've been faithful since he's convinced otherwse.

This sure sounds like his issue,his problem,and maybe he could benefit from therapy for himself.And then later on couples therapy?I know you said he backed out but hopefully he will change his mind and actally go.
 
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Steph1823417

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Joined
Dec 13, 2017
Messages
4
I wanted to add that he claims he has seen all this stuff on my phone like me “sharing my location” “ setting up meetings” secret emails. And more. He keeps asking about them but I honestly don’t know what he is talking about. He is convinced he saw it on my phone but I have no explanation. He can’t show me so it’s difficult for me to not believe him. He keeps saying I deleted everything. I have no reason to lie about anything. I’m stuck
 
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Steph1823417

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Joined
Dec 13, 2017
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Has anyone else had to deal with this? It’s breaking my heart. I need to advice
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

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Hi,
He sounds paranoid, he is ill and he needs help. Contact his GP and tell them what he's done. I hope he gets better.
Take care
 
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Steph1823417

New member
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Dec 13, 2017
Messages
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Well things have been off and on one day it’s all good and the next it’s question after question. I’m drained. He doesn’t trust anyone anymore. He has no one really to talk to anymore and I am just done talking about any of this. I’m exhausted. I did a lie detector test ( I know exactly what people are going to say) and I passed every question. And now it seems like that wasn’t good enough. He contacted the bbb and now they claim they can’t find this polygraph so now he thinks he’s been scammed and the whole thing is a sham. He chose the polygraph and all the questions. I went in blind. Ugh !!!!!
 
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