J
Just a Guy
Member
I can’t really tell others what’s going on with me, so I figured a forum might be a good place to talk to others that might be like me. I am experiencing extreme depression, but I have to hold it together for my children.
Everyday is a struggle, and I feel exhausted, but I owe it to my children to put one foot in front of the other. I have sought professional help, but my depression isn’t just a medical issue. I’m married to a catholic woman that has become some what of a religious extremist. The extreme fundamentalism boarders on mental abuse, and I cannot divorce because I cannot permit her to have my kids half the time. If I’m here I can protect them from her. I’m not suggesting they are in physical danger, they are not. She loves them of course, but her intense fundamentalism is out of control, and I have to be here in order to provide a safe haven and a normal relationship aswell as a block to her rediculous demands on them reguarding church.
Of course catholic extremist don’t believe in birth control and we were done having kids a long time ago, so intimacy is out of the picture, and frankly I could not feel intimate towords her anymore anyway. I have become extremely Lonely living in this situation for so long. I have no friends or people outside of her family. I pushed all of those people away years ago so they wouldn’t see.
I don’t know what to do with the situation. There is no reason I would have full custody if I left, and I can’t bear the thought of them having to deal with her alone. I’m a successful business owner, outgoing, and even semi famous in my community for my charity work. No one would ever suspect I’m terribly Lonely and nearly break into tears if I see couple hug or enjoy each other.
I’m not suicidal, but sometimes I feel like It would be better to be dead. Of course that dosn’t do my kids any good, so I’m in it for the long hall and I must hold it together until they are adults.
I guess I just needed to tell someone.
Everyday is a struggle, and I feel exhausted, but I owe it to my children to put one foot in front of the other. I have sought professional help, but my depression isn’t just a medical issue. I’m married to a catholic woman that has become some what of a religious extremist. The extreme fundamentalism boarders on mental abuse, and I cannot divorce because I cannot permit her to have my kids half the time. If I’m here I can protect them from her. I’m not suggesting they are in physical danger, they are not. She loves them of course, but her intense fundamentalism is out of control, and I have to be here in order to provide a safe haven and a normal relationship aswell as a block to her rediculous demands on them reguarding church.
Of course catholic extremist don’t believe in birth control and we were done having kids a long time ago, so intimacy is out of the picture, and frankly I could not feel intimate towords her anymore anyway. I have become extremely Lonely living in this situation for so long. I have no friends or people outside of her family. I pushed all of those people away years ago so they wouldn’t see.
I don’t know what to do with the situation. There is no reason I would have full custody if I left, and I can’t bear the thought of them having to deal with her alone. I’m a successful business owner, outgoing, and even semi famous in my community for my charity work. No one would ever suspect I’m terribly Lonely and nearly break into tears if I see couple hug or enjoy each other.
I’m not suicidal, but sometimes I feel like It would be better to be dead. Of course that dosn’t do my kids any good, so I’m in it for the long hall and I must hold it together until they are adults.
I guess I just needed to tell someone.
