• Welcome! It’s great to see you.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

I’m new. Just here to talk.

J

Just a Guy

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Joined
Feb 8, 2021
Messages
15
Location
CA
I can’t really tell others what’s going on with me, so I figured a forum might be a good place to talk to others that might be like me. I am experiencing extreme depression, but I have to hold it together for my children.

Everyday is a struggle, and I feel exhausted, but I owe it to my children to put one foot in front of the other. I have sought professional help, but my depression isn’t just a medical issue. I’m married to a catholic woman that has become some what of a religious extremist. The extreme fundamentalism boarders on mental abuse, and I cannot divorce because I cannot permit her to have my kids half the time. If I’m here I can protect them from her. I’m not suggesting they are in physical danger, they are not. She loves them of course, but her intense fundamentalism is out of control, and I have to be here in order to provide a safe haven and a normal relationship aswell as a block to her rediculous demands on them reguarding church.

Of course catholic extremist don’t believe in birth control and we were done having kids a long time ago, so intimacy is out of the picture, and frankly I could not feel intimate towords her anymore anyway. I have become extremely Lonely living in this situation for so long. I have no friends or people outside of her family. I pushed all of those people away years ago so they wouldn’t see.

I don’t know what to do with the situation. There is no reason I would have full custody if I left, and I can’t bear the thought of them having to deal with her alone. I’m a successful business owner, outgoing, and even semi famous in my community for my charity work. No one would ever suspect I’m terribly Lonely and nearly break into tears if I see couple hug or enjoy each other.

I’m not suicidal, but sometimes I feel like It would be better to be dead. Of course that dosn’t do my kids any good, so I’m in it for the long hall and I must hold it together until they are adults.

I guess I just needed to tell someone.
 
UpnDwn1978

UpnDwn1978

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Forum Guide
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Jun 16, 2020
Messages
5,610
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Norway
Hi Just a guy, welcome to the forum :welcome:
 
Z

Zoe1

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Joined
Jul 8, 2019
Messages
17,550
Location
Nowhere
hi Just a Guy :welcome: !

hope you find it helpful here


:grouphug:🕯
 
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