
ineedabettername
New member
I don’t really know how to begin so I apologize in advance if this sounds rather scrambled. I’m a 21 year old male, and I’ve dealt with severe social/generalized anxiety & depression since I was a young child, not to mention multiple hospital visits as a teenager. I have accomplished next to nothing notable, I have a couple hobbies/passions but I’ve lost touch with them quite a bit over the years. I never finished high school, not even close. I’ve been unable to obtain employment that I could handle longer than a couple weeks. Last year, I endured a rough breakup with someone whom I was with for about 3 years. I treated her horribly, and I believe alcohol played a big role in that, along with my constant inability to make improvements within myself. I recently gave up drinking & smoking, in a desperate attempt to make any kind of change. I don’t have a car, just my beginners license. I don’t yet have enough experience to obtain my full license. I still live with my mother, and I’m dependant on her financially. My dad has never really been in the picture. For quite a while now, I’ve found myself in a robotic state. I don’t experience the gut wrenching, emotional turmoil depression that I experienced as a teenager; it’s manifested itself as a numbness, keeping me trapped in my comfort zone.. which isn’t very comfortable. I spend most days on my phone, going through socials, going for walks, swiping through Tinder, etc. I’ve also managed to develop a porn addiction, which eats away a good portion of my time too.
I find that I’m completely invisible to women, as if I’m the lowest of the low type of male. I’m not a bad looking guy, but I’m very skinny & can’t maintain a conversation with people I first meet. I have “Alpha” male friends who show women confidence, and bring them over like it’s nothing to them, but I’ve always been the introverted type. I tell myself that I need to work on other priorities before even thinking of women, but I don’t even know what my priorities are anymore. I don’t know where to start.
I feel so lost, and it seems as though everyone only comes around when they need something from me. Even the ones who have a job, and know that I don’t. I feel like it’s too late for me to go back to school, and even if I did, I’ll remember the countless times I’ve attempted & failed in the past because I had zero willpower.
I find that I’m completely invisible to women, as if I’m the lowest of the low type of male. I’m not a bad looking guy, but I’m very skinny & can’t maintain a conversation with people I first meet. I have “Alpha” male friends who show women confidence, and bring them over like it’s nothing to them, but I’ve always been the introverted type. I tell myself that I need to work on other priorities before even thinking of women, but I don’t even know what my priorities are anymore. I don’t know where to start.
I feel so lost, and it seems as though everyone only comes around when they need something from me. Even the ones who have a job, and know that I don’t. I feel like it’s too late for me to go back to school, and even if I did, I’ll remember the countless times I’ve attempted & failed in the past because I had zero willpower.