• Welcome! It’s great to see you.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

I’m in a horrible anxiety attack

WitchHazel

WitchHazel

Member
Joined
Feb 12, 2021
Messages
5
Location
Canada
I’m in this horrible anxiety attack.
My boyfriend is angry with me. He has been since yesterday when i screwed up... anyway it’s legit, it’s my mistake and I accept that.

But I don’t know if our relationship is ok. He’s not talking to me. I haven’t slept all night.

My insides hurt and I feel like puking. I want to escape. Run away. Flee! I am ripping myself apart inside with self loathing and self contempt.

I can’t handle this, I don’t know how I’ve borne it for the past 36 hours. Breathing is off kilter. I have taken emerge medication.

I don’t know what else to do.
 
I

Intareseid

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 7, 2020
Messages
187
Location
.
All I can say is that if/when things settle then you should really talk to him and let him know how important communication is, specially for someone that is anxious.

If you screwed up then he has a right to be upset but there are more mature ways to handle that, for example expressing feelings with actual words. It can be a good idea to take a few hours to cool off or at least channel the anger into something constructive after a heated situation but 36 hours of silence? that's just not how a healthy relationship should work.
 
WitchHazel

WitchHazel

Member
Joined
Feb 12, 2021
Messages
5
Location
Canada
How are you doing today witchhazel?
Hi
Thanks for asking. :thanks:

I actually find myself less anxious but more in a self destructive state of deeper depression.

He and I talked eventually- but the anxiety I felt had taken on a life of its own and gave way to this dead feeling in my chest- kind of numb and I just wonder what the point is to anything.

I always turn inwards- and I guess that happened- and at some point my major depressive disorder took over since it was there anyway and I realized that I’m not worth all that much so why again am I thinking my boyfriend should even want to be with me? He is still with me- it’s just that I think I get why he doesn’t spend a ton of time with me. Who’d want to? I sure don’t.

So I haven’t slept more than 3 hours a night for roughly a week- I have nightmares and flashbacks to times of abuse and I am wondering and thinking what is it about me that attracts such men? After all that am I suitable for a good relationship? Why should I be so presumptuous as to think I’m worthwhile?

So much doubt- so much dull pain and aching nothingness. I have started taking trazodone 25mg during the day to control my anxiety- it seems to be working- I don’t take it every day.

Sorry for the verbal novel. I am as I am- existing is difficult right now. I’d be sad but I’m too empty for that.

~Hazel~
 
soul searching

soul searching

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 5, 2020
Messages
996
Location
Clearwater, Florida
Hi Hazel! Only 3 hours of sleep for a week! That sounds dangerous to me. Can you take the Trazadone to help you sleep?(I do)You should go back to your doctor or even the hospital, I think. Are you saying, your current guy is abusing you? If so, get him out or leave, right? Sorry you are in such a bad place.:grouphug:
 
WitchHazel

WitchHazel

Member
Joined
Feb 12, 2021
Messages
5
Location
Canada
Hi Hazel! Only 3 hours of sleep for a week! That sounds dangerous to me. Can you take the Trazadone to help you sleep?(I do)You should go back to your doctor or even the hospital, I think. Are you saying, your current guy is abusing you? If so, get him out or leave, right? Sorry you are in such a bad place.:grouphug:
Hi

No, my current guy isn’t abusing me. He’s just a bit... scattered and doesn’t know how to help me. I’ve told him I’m self-destructively depressed and he didn’t know what to do with that.
I see my therapist in a week and I will tell her- I do take the trazadone at night to sleep but it doesn’t help- I take it with seroquel. If I take more than what I currently take, I can’t function during the day so I’m kind of stuck.
I’m honestly frightened of going to the hospital- 1-because of covid, 2-because they might admit me again 3-because they might not admit me again (I know, conflicting, right?)
Also, I live by myself. So there’s no one to care for my dog should I be admitted... Except maybe my family- but they would be reluctant and angry that I ended up admitted. They do not understand. They would see my dog as a burden.
And so I find myself in a bit of a hard place.
 
E

EclipticNight

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2020
Messages
408
Location
Orleans vermont.
Hi
Thanks for asking. :thanks:

I actually find myself less anxious but more in a self destructive state of deeper depression.

He and I talked eventually- but the anxiety I felt had taken on a life of its own and gave way to this dead feeling in my chest- kind of numb and I just wonder what the point is to anything.

I always turn inwards- and I guess that happened- and at some point my major depressive disorder took over since it was there anyway and I realized that I’m not worth all that much so why again am I thinking my boyfriend should even want to be with me? He is still with me- it’s just that I think I get why he doesn’t spend a ton of time with me. Who’d want to? I sure don’t.

So I haven’t slept more than 3 hours a night for roughly a week- I have nightmares and flashbacks to times of abuse and I am wondering and thinking what is it about me that attracts such men? After all that am I suitable for a good relationship? Why should I be so presumptuous as to think I’m worthwhile?

So much doubt- so much dull pain and aching nothingness. I have started taking trazodone 25mg during the day to control my anxiety- it seems to be working- I don’t take it every day.

Sorry for the verbal novel. I am as I am- existing is difficult right now. I’d be sad but I’m too empty for that.

~Hazel~
You should not be so hard on yourself. I dont believe you are unable to have a relationship. He obviously sees something in you if he is still with you. Anyways im king of being undatable. Ive never kept a relationship no matter how hard i tried. Ill die alone, i dont think you will. Im certain your a lovely woman who has gone through really bad shit and are trying to work through it same as all of us.

I know all about not sleeping. I did that due to a sleep disorder for my schooling days. It sucks. Are you hallucinating yet? I usually start hearing things after a few days. If you want a full nights sleep try staying awake about 30 hours. After that your body will sleep no matter what happens.
 
soul searching

soul searching

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 5, 2020
Messages
996
Location
Clearwater, Florida
Is there a hotline you can call or can you get a message to your psychologist now, instead of waiting? Lack of sleep is definitely making everything worse. Hoping you can get some sleep.
 
Similar threads
Thread starter Title Forum Replies Date
L Horrible anxiety... Going up on my benzo dose?? Anxiety Forum 3
Miguel I look good in the mirror but horrible on pictures... Anxiety Forum 12
00Bluejay7500 (was Scapes1986) I had a horrible mania pacing issue Anxiety Forum 7
C Anxiety getting worse Anxiety Forum 8
G Anxiety Anxiety Forum 4
M Anxiety hell Anxiety Forum 3
W Loud Noises and the Anxiety Surrounding Them Anxiety Forum 1
H fertility anxiety Anxiety Forum 1
M Stress and Anxiety with NightTime and Food Anxiety Forum 2
E Anxiety around noise associated with student living. Anxiety Forum 3
BeautyInRepair Anxiety Anxiety Forum 0
V Anxiety Anxiety Forum 5
L Jolting awake - anxiety Anxiety Forum 1
I Anxiety Anxiety Forum 5
jajingna Is anxiety a symptom? Anxiety Forum 1
R anxiety- natural cures Anxiety Forum 1
EvyEv anxiety Anxiety Forum 7
P Nature Sounds that I personally hear to relieve Anxiety ! Anxiety Forum 1
T Physical Symptoms/Anxiety ruining my life Anxiety Forum 3
A Foods which can reduce anxiety Anxiety Forum 2
D Anxiety and new noisy neighbour. Anxiety Forum 8
jajingna "Anxiety is in your body, not your mind" Anxiety Forum 12
A Good anxiety reduction exercise Anxiety Forum 1
C Anxiety, OCD and the Law Of Attraction Anxiety Forum 5
S Anxiety and Depression, i don’t know what to do anymore Anxiety Forum 12
lilbit Anxiety and AvPD Anxiety Forum 1
R Anxiety is consuming me. Anxiety Forum 4
W My Partner Suffers from Depression & Anxiety Anxiety Forum 3
Supermansgirlfriend Anxiety disorder Anxiety Forum 9
J Coping with anxiety in lead up to social event? Anxiety Forum 3
M New to morning anxiety + stomach pain Anxiety Forum 4
B Easing Lockdown Anxiety Anxiety Forum 1
T Anxiety feeling? Anxiety Forum 2
A Anxiety Getting Worse Anxiety Forum 9
L Coreg daily for long term anxiety tx Anxiety Forum 2
L Experiences with coreg for long term anxiety? Anxiety Forum 1
C Anxiety Anxiety Forum 2
EvyEv anxiety Anxiety Forum 6
J GAD, Health Anxiety & depression Anxiety Forum 3
D Starting to think this can’t be anxiety Anxiety Forum 29
B Tight chest/feeling shaky - a common anxiety problem? Anxiety Forum 2
P Horrific Morning Anxiety Anxiety Forum 6
E Driving and anxiety Anxiety Forum 2
Smudgerover Anxiety Anxiety Forum 5
S Anxiety- dealing with it and the Attacks. Anxiety Forum 10
Gdzoul28 Is this just anxiety? Anxiety Forum 4
C Anxiety, How many suffer from it? Anxiety Forum 23
4everanxious over obsessive guilt anxiety Anxiety Forum 1
A Did my Anxiety/OCD issues prevent me from falling in love? Anxiety Forum 1
L Anxiety - How would you feel or react to this...? Anxiety Forum 2

Similar threads

Top