I’m feeling so bad and hopeless...

Retaw

Retaw

Member
Joined
May 10, 2019
Messages
5
Location
Holland
#1
Hi guys,

I am recently feeling so hopeless about everything.. I’m dealing with anxiety and depression for 3 years now. I did multiple forms of therapy, but none with good results. I’m becoming very tired of everything and I just want to have happy life something which I never experienced before. My life is completely ruined because of my anxiety and depression. I’ve no job, school, friends, relationship.. Just nothing. I try to motivate myself that things will get better, but as time goes by I’m losing my hope. If one thing anxiety or depression related goes away another thing will come by. I have this constantly feeling that I feel very bad and it’s hard to explain what that exactly is. Also I’ve anxiety for my emotions. I’m super anxious about losing controll of myself.

Today I had such a bad day. I’ve planned to seeing a friend which I needed to take the bus for, but I couldn’t get into the bus because how I felt. I was super anxious and I felt intensely bad. I tried it and I was waiting for the bus... But I just couldn’t get in.. After I came home I was so disappointed in myself and I just felt very spaced out and completely depressed. I wanted to cry, but I couldn’t..

I feel like my therapist is giving up on me.. I refused to take medicines which is one reason why. But to be honest I’m thinking of taking medicine now, because I feel very hopeless right now. I took medicines before for a half year, but without good results. I took a very mild dose of prozac. With a higher dose I had hallucinations. I must say that I still have them at the moment all of a sudden.. Sometimes I just see things around me moving which aren’t moving. It’s very scary and I don’t know how to stop it. It’s not that such things takes place a lot, but when they do it can be playing in my mind for a long time. I’ve never had this before it went so bad with me though, so I was thinking that it may comes because of the anxiety or that I am so long at home for a long time. I’m not completely sure where it comes from, but it is something I worry about a lot. I don’t to be crazy I want to be normal..

Can someone give advice to this hopeless person? I’ve not experienced a single day without anxiety or depression for 3 years. My whole is excisting of anxiety and depression. I’m just sick and tired living this way. I’m only 20 years old btw, but I feel like I threw away my entire life and atm I don’t see any light at the end of the tunnel.
 
G

Girl interupted

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 17, 2018
Messages
1,019
#2
It’s ok. You’ll get in the bus next time.

Don’t beat yourself up. You did all that you could.

The best thing I’ve found for anxiety is exercise. Whether it’s running up and down the stairs until you’re exhausted. Or going for a long walk. Or trying meditation on an app (Headspace). Find what works for you and don’t beat yourself up.
 
J

JCPraha

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 27, 2018
Messages
261
#4
Maybe you should try some meds again. It sounds like you are really in need of something to help your mental state. It must be very difficult for you. I know what it is like from personal experience and it really is quite miserable. It seems like you need to try something, continuing in the state you are in is really not an option. I hope you can find a solution. I know how difficult it is from first hand experience.
 

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