- Apr 19, 2019
Hi. I’m new to this and I needed to get this out. I hope someone can relate to how I feel. I’ve been struggling with my mental health for the last five years. All through my teens I’ve experienced suicidal thoughts. I have a great life. I have a good job, a boyfriend, a loving and supportive family, money. You may ask, why? Why is someone that has it all so unhappy? I ask myself the same. Well, when I was 15 I was raped. I was taken advantage of when under the influence of alcohol. He hasn’t faced any consequences for what he did to me . But this isn’t a sob story I don’t expect sympathy. What happened to me happened but what occurred after was even worse. I didn’t deal with it when it happened. And as I was so young I didn’t really come to terms with what had happened to me. It’s only now in my twenties that I am experiencing severe anxiety and depression. I don’t know if this is linked and maybe I’m stupid to ask if it is. But my life has slowly taken a turn for the worse. I overthink everything. I push my friends away. I’m always irritated and I lose my temper quickly so I get into arguments with those close to me. I lock myself away in my room and I cancel my plans because I’m scared of everything. Exercise doesn’t help. Alcohol doesn’t help. I just have this numb feeling inside of me. And it stays with me every day, 24/7. People always ask me what is wrong and I can’t explain why. Does anyone else feel like this?