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I’m exhausted.. what else can I do?

M

matthewxyz

Member
Joined
Mar 2, 2020
Messages
17
Location
UK
I’ve spent the last 10 years - from age 20 to almost 30 - trying to find some purpose or meaning in my life.

I move to different towns, enrolled on various courses, worked a number a jobs and at age 28, although my job of 4 years was stable, I was unsatisfied, so I decided to re-enter Education, studied for a year at a local college and moved to London to go to university.

4/5 months into uni and I dropped out because I wasn’t happy with the courses syllabus, living in the city was stressful, there was so much pressure and deadlines that I was sick every morning as soon as I woke up from stress and anxiety. I didn’t have time to breathe, felt inadequate and incapable. I couldn’t bare that for 4 years of study so I quit.

Now I’m stuck. Back in my hometown after 10 years away, unsure what to do next, will I even find meaning or purpose in my life? It’s been 10 years of searching and nothing yet..

I never thought I would ever reach this age in my life.. if you told me in 2005/6 when I was 15 that I would still be around in 2020 i would have laughed..

I feel like despite all my experiences and searching for meaning I’ve accomplished nothing in my life.. I just want to go back. I. Want. To. Go. Back. And. Try. Again.
:(
 
S

ShelbyCobra

Member
Joined
Mar 8, 2020
Messages
17
Location
Missouri
I have and still am working this out...but I have found that life has much more meaning and fullfillment and importance when you are not the sole subject of it....despite the fact that we as human beings are terrified of being poured out in a sense... we think it will be the end of life..it is actually quite the beginning. being poured out for something bigger than yourself...people or things/ ideas that improve life for others for example...and taking responsibility when and where you can to further grow yourself...this is a life well lived... and suprisingly this even effects your view of death. its no longer a fear..but you welcome it because you have made an impact for good and that brings you peace of mind in the end.
 
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ShelbyCobra

Member
Joined
Mar 8, 2020
Messages
17
Location
Missouri
in essense ...I hear "I" quite a lot...that is why you have not found the answer to your question.
 
Star_light

Star_light

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 8, 2020
Messages
51
Location
Berkshire
Hi Matthewxyz

I understand what you are going through. I have felt unfulfilled in life for about the past 7/8 years. I never feel as though I am doing enough. Everyone always says that you’ve got a lot to be thankful for and you should embrace it but it’s hard when there is something inside you that just doesn’t feel complete.
I don’t know if you feel the same as me in the sense of you get bored quite easily. Do you get the sense that you are meant to do something great with your life you just don’t know what yet? I sometimes worry that my life is just trickling away and I haven’t found my place yet. Is this how you feel?
 

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