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i´m not sure whether i might have ocd or not. (long text ahead)

B

brokeourmirrors

Member
Joined
Jul 26, 2019
Messages
6
Location
germany
hey.

i´m not sure if this is the right place to post this, but i don´t know where else to get support.

so first of all, i don´t really believe i have ocd. i am writing this post to figure out whether it is a possibility.
for a while now, i´ve been doing a lot of repeating actions compulsively, such as:
-having to touch something, e.g. both of my ears the exact same amount of time and with the same amount of force
-re-reading sentences, especially headings or video titles i just glance at, so many times that it will take minutes
-checking the spelling of words repeatedly
-having things like remotes in the exact same space and parallel all the time
-fixing unnecessary things that don´t sit perfectly, like my a fold in my bed sheets or uneven socks
-re-writing letters or words A LOT of times until they have no flaws, even if i cross out the word, the crossing has to be even, if it is not, i use the next paper, it gets up to five pieces of paper
-wasting more paper, just because i didn´t put the heading in the exact middle of it
-feeling the need to blink an excessive amount
-re-checking my phone or the time, even if i know what it says
-scrolling to the exact point that all the letters at the top and the bottom of the screen are visible on my phone, which, if not possible, i will refuse to read/look at for longer or change the text size

all of these are things, that i´d say take a huge chunk out of my day-to-day life and are starting to bother me a lot.
now, the reason i´m not sure whether it could be ocd or not is because i don´t do these things out of an obsession, more just because they don´t feel right unless i do them enough, it´s almost like an urge, a pressuring feeling in my body, that drives me to repeat actions like this.
i don´t have a fear of germs or contamination, or a fear of hurting someone if i don´t do this or that, none of this is based on intrusive thoughts.
i do sometimes get thoughts i can´t control, though. like, "what if i pushed you onto the busy street now?" or "i need to throw this mug at the wall right now", but more often, it´s sexual thoughts about people i don´t at all feel or should feel attracted to.
like my friends, family, or even people of authority, and these thoughts can be extreme and make me feel so wrong and disgusting and sometimes, they scare me, but that feeling doesn´t ever stop them, until i really really try to oppress them or distance myself from that person.
they come out of nowhere, too.
weirdly enough though, since i was little, i sometimes had repetitive thoughts that scared me just because they kept repeating themselves.
like, for example, i would imagine myself sitting down, and in my thought that chair kept slipping away, and it wouldn´t stop, unless i thought of taping it to the floor or something, which would stop that thought for a few seconds.
last night i started imagining a conversation, and the person i was talking to kept repeating words or phrases, it scared me so much and i literally had to snap myself out of it multiple times for it to stop.
sometimes, those kinds of thoughts just feel like living nightmares to me, and i can´t stop them.
it doesn´t help either that i often think or tell myself that everyone around me can hear my thoughts for some reason, which makes these thoughts even more stressful to me.
so, yes, i do have intrusive thoughts, but as i said they are not what leads me to do those repeated actions.

so, i don´t know if any of the things i just pointed out have anything to do with each other or have anything to do with me possibly having ocd.
i know a lot of the things i pointed out are just things people without ocd will do, but i guess i just need the reassurance and knowledge of what all of this could be.
i´ll just say, they do limit my daily life more, than i actually notice in that moment, but i´m sure it´s a lot worse for a lot of people, that´s why i need others thought on this.

i hope anyone can help me! don´t feel obligated to, though. but it would really help me out!
thank you for reading!!
-a
 
Z

Zoe1

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2019
Messages
3,200
Location
Nowhere
I think from watching comedians, like Greg Davies comes to mind
its normal to have really weird and sometimes destructive thoughts
but people usually are more accepting of themselves than we are

I get the. ' parallel ' thing,
which does not apply to all the things in my home
but certain things have to be parallel

again alot of normal people would like things to line up
so that they look organised !

I have to wash myself too much and run the washing machine with clothes again
and I make an embarrassing amount of rubbish for the bin men
which looks alot more than the whole families rubbish in other neighbours places

at one time I was putting tape around light fittings and plugs and stuff
because of various things like being watched
or germs coming through the floor boards

I dont seem to get that now so much

well thinking people can read your thoughts
is probably paranoia I dont know if its OCD though

:grouphug:
 
S

SPACECRAFT

Member
Joined
Jul 27, 2019
Messages
6
Location
Essex
hey.

i´m not sure if this is the right place to post this, but i don´t know where else to get support.

so first of all, i don´t really believe i have ocd. i am writing this post to figure out whether it is a possibility.
for a while now, i´ve been doing a lot of repeating actions compulsively, such as:
-having to touch something, e.g. both of my ears the exact same amount of time and with the same amount of force
-re-reading sentences, especially headings or video titles i just glance at, so many times that it will take minutes
-checking the spelling of words repeatedly
-having things like remotes in the exact same space and parallel all the time
-fixing unnecessary things that don´t sit perfectly, like my a fold in my bed sheets or uneven socks
-re-writing letters or words A LOT of times until they have no flaws, even if i cross out the word, the crossing has to be even, if it is not, i use the next paper, it gets up to five pieces of paper
-wasting more paper, just because i didn´t put the heading in the exact middle of it
-feeling the need to blink an excessive amount
-re-checking my phone or the time, even if i know what it says
-scrolling to the exact point that all the letters at the top and the bottom of the screen are visible on my phone, which, if not possible, i will refuse to read/look at for longer or change the text size

all of these are things, that i´d say take a huge chunk out of my day-to-day life and are starting to bother me a lot.
now, the reason i´m not sure whether it could be ocd or not is because i don´t do these things out of an obsession, more just because they don´t feel right unless i do them enough, it´s almost like an urge, a pressuring feeling in my body, that drives me to repeat actions like this.
i don´t have a fear of germs or contamination, or a fear of hurting someone if i don´t do this or that, none of this is based on intrusive thoughts.
i do sometimes get thoughts i can´t control, though. like, "what if i pushed you onto the busy street now?" or "i need to throw this mug at the wall right now", but more often, it´s sexual thoughts about people i don´t at all feel or should feel attracted to.
like my friends, family, or even people of authority, and these thoughts can be extreme and make me feel so wrong and disgusting and sometimes, they scare me, but that feeling doesn´t ever stop them, until i really really try to oppress them or distance myself from that person.
they come out of nowhere, too.
weirdly enough though, since i was little, i sometimes had repetitive thoughts that scared me just because they kept repeating themselves.
like, for example, i would imagine myself sitting down, and in my thought that chair kept slipping away, and it wouldn´t stop, unless i thought of taping it to the floor or something, which would stop that thought for a few seconds.
last night i started imagining a conversation, and the person i was talking to kept repeating words or phrases, it scared me so much and i literally had to snap myself out of it multiple times for it to stop.
sometimes, those kinds of thoughts just feel like living nightmares to me, and i can´t stop them.
it doesn´t help either that i often think or tell myself that everyone around me can hear my thoughts for some reason, which makes these thoughts even more stressful to me.
so, yes, i do have intrusive thoughts, but as i said they are not what leads me to do those repeated actions.

so, i don´t know if any of the things i just pointed out have anything to do with each other or have anything to do with me possibly having ocd.
i know a lot of the things i pointed out are just things people without ocd will do, but i guess i just need the reassurance and knowledge of what all of this could be.
i´ll just say, they do limit my daily life more, than i actually notice in that moment, but i´m sure it´s a lot worse for a lot of people, that´s why i need others thought on this.

i hope anyone can help me! don´t feel obligated to, though. but it would really help me out!
thank you for reading!!
-a
It doesnt really matter how you label it. Even if it is OCD its not really something to worry about, as long as what you do makes you feel yourself or safe.
 
C

carrottop

New member
Joined
Sep 18, 2019
Messages
1
Location
USA
hey.

i´m not sure if this is the right place to post this, but i don´t know where else to get support.

so first of all, i don´t really believe i have ocd. i am writing this post to figure out whether it is a possibility.
for a while now, i´ve been doing a lot of repeating actions compulsively, such as:
-having to touch something, e.g. both of my ears the exact same amount of time and with the same amount of force
-re-reading sentences, especially headings or video titles i just glance at, so many times that it will take minutes
-checking the spelling of words repeatedly
-having things like remotes in the exact same space and parallel all the time
-fixing unnecessary things that don´t sit perfectly, like my a fold in my bed sheets or uneven socks
-re-writing letters or words A LOT of times until they have no flaws, even if i cross out the word, the crossing has to be even, if it is not, i use the next paper, it gets up to five pieces of paper
-wasting more paper, just because i didn´t put the heading in the exact middle of it
-feeling the need to blink an excessive amount
-re-checking my phone or the time, even if i know what it says
-scrolling to the exact point that all the letters at the top and the bottom of the screen are visible on my phone, which, if not possible, i will refuse to read/look at for longer or change the text size

all of these are things, that i´d say take a huge chunk out of my day-to-day life and are starting to bother me a lot.
now, the reason i´m not sure whether it could be ocd or not is because i don´t do these things out of an obsession, more just because they don´t feel right unless i do them enough, it´s almost like an urge, a pressuring feeling in my body, that drives me to repeat actions like this.
i don´t have a fear of germs or contamination, or a fear of hurting someone if i don´t do this or that, none of this is based on intrusive thoughts.
i do sometimes get thoughts i can´t control, though. like, "what if i pushed you onto the busy street now?" or "i need to throw this mug at the wall right now", but more often, it´s sexual thoughts about people i don´t at all feel or should feel attracted to.
like my friends, family, or even people of authority, and these thoughts can be extreme and make me feel so wrong and disgusting and sometimes, they scare me, but that feeling doesn´t ever stop them, until i really really try to oppress them or distance myself from that person.
they come out of nowhere, too.
weirdly enough though, since i was little, i sometimes had repetitive thoughts that scared me just because they kept repeating themselves.
like, for example, i would imagine myself sitting down, and in my thought that chair kept slipping away, and it wouldn´t stop, unless i thought of taping it to the floor or something, which would stop that thought for a few seconds.
last night i started imagining a conversation, and the person i was talking to kept repeating words or phrases, it scared me so much and i literally had to snap myself out of it multiple times for it to stop.
sometimes, those kinds of thoughts just feel like living nightmares to me, and i can´t stop them.
it doesn´t help either that i often think or tell myself that everyone around me can hear my thoughts for some reason, which makes these thoughts even more stressful to me.
so, yes, i do have intrusive thoughts, but as i said they are not what leads me to do those repeated actions.

so, i don´t know if any of the things i just pointed out have anything to do with each other or have anything to do with me possibly having ocd.
i know a lot of the things i pointed out are just things people without ocd will do, but i guess i just need the reassurance and knowledge of what all of this could be.
i´ll just say, they do limit my daily life more, than i actually notice in that moment, but i´m sure it´s a lot worse for a lot of people, that´s why i need others thought on this.

i hope anyone can help me! don´t feel obligated to, though. but it would really help me out!
thank you for reading!!
-a
It sounds like it could be ocd. You should look into the relationship between perfectionism and ocd. There's definitely a strong correlation, same with the intrusive thoughts. Consider how it would feel if you didn't perform the repeating action, if you would feel uncomfortable. Once compulsions start to take up a large chunk of your day and are a pain, it's a good time to look for treatment. If you try to not have such a strong emotional reaction to the thoughts that clearly make you uncomfortable (try to let them pass through, and leave your mind on their own rather them forcing them), your mind will stop thinking of them as large of a threat, and they might get less frequent.
 
Warrior

Warrior

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 23, 2019
Messages
792
Location
UK
hey.

i´m not sure if this is the right place to post this, but i don´t know where else to get support.

so first of all, i don´t really believe i have ocd. i am writing this post to figure out whether it is a possibility.
for a while now, i´ve been doing a lot of repeating actions compulsively, such as:
-having to touch something, e.g. both of my ears the exact same amount of time and with the same amount of force
-re-reading sentences, especially headings or video titles i just glance at, so many times that it will take minutes
-checking the spelling of words repeatedly
-having things like remotes in the exact same space and parallel all the time
-fixing unnecessary things that don´t sit perfectly, like my a fold in my bed sheets or uneven socks
-re-writing letters or words A LOT of times until they have no flaws, even if i cross out the word, the crossing has to be even, if it is not, i use the next paper, it gets up to five pieces of paper
-wasting more paper, just because i didn´t put the heading in the exact middle of it
-feeling the need to blink an excessive amount
-re-checking my phone or the time, even if i know what it says
-scrolling to the exact point that all the letters at the top and the bottom of the screen are visible on my phone, which, if not possible, i will refuse to read/look at for longer or change the text size

all of these are things, that i´d say take a huge chunk out of my day-to-day life and are starting to bother me a lot.
now, the reason i´m not sure whether it could be ocd or not is because i don´t do these things out of an obsession, more just because they don´t feel right unless i do them enough, it´s almost like an urge, a pressuring feeling in my body, that drives me to repeat actions like this.
i don´t have a fear of germs or contamination, or a fear of hurting someone if i don´t do this or that, none of this is based on intrusive thoughts.
i do sometimes get thoughts i can´t control, though. like, "what if i pushed you onto the busy street now?" or "i need to throw this mug at the wall right now", but more often, it´s sexual thoughts about people i don´t at all feel or should feel attracted to.
like my friends, family, or even people of authority, and these thoughts can be extreme and make me feel so wrong and disgusting and sometimes, they scare me, but that feeling doesn´t ever stop them, until i really really try to oppress them or distance myself from that person.
they come out of nowhere, too.
weirdly enough though, since i was little, i sometimes had repetitive thoughts that scared me just because they kept repeating themselves.
like, for example, i would imagine myself sitting down, and in my thought that chair kept slipping away, and it wouldn´t stop, unless i thought of taping it to the floor or something, which would stop that thought for a few seconds.
last night i started imagining a conversation, and the person i was talking to kept repeating words or phrases, it scared me so much and i literally had to snap myself out of it multiple times for it to stop.
sometimes, those kinds of thoughts just feel like living nightmares to me, and i can´t stop them.
it doesn´t help either that i often think or tell myself that everyone around me can hear my thoughts for some reason, which makes these thoughts even more stressful to me.
so, yes, i do have intrusive thoughts, but as i said they are not what leads me to do those repeated actions.

so, i don´t know if any of the things i just pointed out have anything to do with each other or have anything to do with me possibly having ocd.
i know a lot of the things i pointed out are just things people without ocd will do, but i guess i just need the reassurance and knowledge of what all of this could be.
i´ll just say, they do limit my daily life more, than i actually notice in that moment, but i´m sure it´s a lot worse for a lot of people, that´s why i need others thought on this.

i hope anyone can help me! don´t feel obligated to, though. but it would really help me out!
thank you for reading!!
-a
Hi brokeourmirrors, by what you've stated your in the correct place regarding the forum and by what you've explained in my opinion I would say 98% you could have OCD which is leading to anxiety besides depression with the thoughts your encountering.
OCD comes in many forms and it's not all down to constant cleaning, there's behavioural aspects to it also which these links explain below but you do need to seek help because of the way your minds thinking besides disturbing your sleep. :hug:


 
Strangerbytheday

Strangerbytheday

Member
Joined
Sep 29, 2019
Messages
9
Location
UK
Hi. I do a lot of things you do and I've been clinically diagnosed with OCD.

With me, I have to repeat actions until they 'feel right'. I have to have the right thought when I perform the action and the right thought immediately afterwards.

OCD, or any other Mental Health condition, is just a label. There are so many different diagnoses in the DSM-5 and a lot of these have been moved into different classifications from the DSM-4. Imagine all those blurred lines! My Psychology care team tell me that they're more interested in how my particular diagnoses affect me.

So, don't get hung up on the terminology but look at how it affects your life.
 
J

Jmack

New member
Joined
Oct 12, 2019
Messages
4
Location
Edmond
OMG yes, i actually just made a post about this. But you mentioned having to touch things at the same time with the same amount of force. I struggle with this so severely every single day.

If i touch something with one finger, that finger will feel heavier to me and uneven. So i will have to touch the same thing, with my other finger, with the same force, and in the exact same way. If i mess up and touch it differently, then i try again till i get it right. But i keep count of how many times i mess up so i can do it again on the other side now. Sometimes it can get out of hand.

This applies to every single part of my body too. If i step on a crack with one foot, i need to step on a crack in the exact same spot with the other foot. I also have to split my food in my mouth and chew with even portions on each side. It gets so much deeper than this but i dont want to get into it too far.

I invented something called the "evener" This has saved my life, because say i touch something, then go to replicate it on the other side and mess it up, then keep trying to make things even but get lost and can't keep track on what i need to do to get back to even i will use an evener.

To use an evener, i will set both hands or whatever it is, teeth, feet, shoulder blades, etc on the item in question at the same time and say evener. This will restore the balance again and make everything feel the same weight.

PS: sleeping is impossible lol.

Curious to see if your condition goes as far or farther than mine, and how you deal with it.
 
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