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Hypochondriasis is taking its toll



New member
Nov 23, 2021
I will start this off grim. My mom passed a few months ago at the age of 50. She went to the hospital for shortness of breath, took a covid test, and died of a heart attack not even 6 hours later..

I think I may have formed some sort of PTSD or something because I constantly am google doctoring shit, looking at pictures of cancers, illnesses, and symptoms of life threatening diseases, and I'll compare them to normal things our bodies just do. I'm polluting my brain with thoughts of death and I'm viewing life differently. With that said, I have 2 squishy (lump, sac, olive sized mass) on either side of my trachea. Follow your trachea all the way up to where you feel your jawline and kind of push up. You'll feel 2 squishy lumps, how big are yours, are those saliva glands or muscles? Is it lymph nodes? They don't bulge out of my skin, they're not painful (which could mean cancer) but they've been the same size for a couple weeks. My panic about them is detrimental to my relationship and my well-being, just looking for some clarification. My gf thinks they feel normal and that I'm just hyper focusing on lymph nodes. Please give me some insight, particular situations, I just feel lost and want people to talk to me like I'm going nuts or whatever idk.


Well-known member
Jul 27, 2020
Hi there. First of all I am so sorry for your loss ❤ second I think people go through grief in different ways. My dad had a brain aneurysm last year and luckily he survived. But it made me panic about everything. I went through stressing myself out so much I thought I had one too. Google does not help at all!. So I can't comment on how my lymph nodes feel as you have to remember everyone is different!. I can say that if you are worried it may be worth talking to a doctor getting a check up?? Just to ease your mind.. what happened to your mum is absolutely awful but unfortunately these things happen!. It's just one of those things!.. try to ease yourself.


Well-known member
May 30, 2021
Sorry for your loss. It sure is a traumatic experience. A tragedy like that can bring fear of illness and dying. Have you ever seen a therapist or psychiatrist about this? I also google everything and overcheck symptoms. It does not help. I was hospitalized last week because of a panic attack and high anxiety, I thought I had Parkinson's. Talking with a therapist that day made me realize all the triggers. My grandfather had Parkinsons when I was a kid, watching him get bad traumatized me to core. I have always had anxiety about social issues and it turned into anxiety about school. Last year I lost my cat because she opened safety net and fell down, apartment cleaner found her and threw in garbage. I dug her out of garbage bin with my bare hands. I developed a fear losing. At the end of the year my father got covid and he almost died. These all strengthened my fears, then school became too stressful. I repressed these all. I am afraid of dying, I am afraid of getting sick. I am afraid of losing.


Well-known member
Oct 27, 2020
Orleans vermont.
Sorry to hear about your mom. I fear my father's time is coming as well. What your feeling are the lymph nodes just under and to the side of the jaw. They carry white blood cells. If they are not swollen or in pain they are just fine, nothing to worry about.
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