Another worried soul
Hi everybody.
I'm glad that I found this thread, as this is happening to me right now.
It is so weird...I had this for a while back in late 2014, but after a combination of medication and therapy, it went away. During that time, I was going through a very stressful time in my life...I was on the verge of a breakup (with my partner of close to 5 years), and I was experiencing my anxiety very strongly for the first time in my life. After this episode of somniphobia, I started treatment. However, my ex and I broke up several months later.
Fast forward two years later...I was very mindful of being aware of my grieving process and doing things in my life to keep me distracted and fulfilled.
Then...all of a sudden...last weekend, the somniphobia returned. Not sure why, as for the past two years I have been having decent sleep (at times, I would have a hard time staying asleep, but nothing as debilitating as it is now, and definitely not a fear of falling asleep). Heck, at times I even welcomed sleep, and would enjoy the part of sleep where I just closed my eyes and allowed peace to come...but I never thought about the "what will happen if I am not awake?" part.
Now the actual fear of dozing off has plagued me. Like other posters have stated, it's the fear of the unknown, the fact that I am not aware of what is going on around me and that it is a state of "nothingness" scares he heck out of me.
What I am scared now is of going "crazy." I know this is my anxious (catastrophic) thinking that is at play. I also fear that I will never be able to have the quality of life that I want because I can't shake this irrational thought and fear.
I recently called my psychiatrist and he re-prescribed a limited supply of Ativan (which helped before), but last night when I tried it, while my body started to calm down, I still couldn't grapple with the fact that I was going to doze off. What finally helped me sleep was going to my parent's home (I live alone, but I have the fortune of having my family close) and sleeping in the same room with them.
Note sure if this has to do with feelings of loneliness that I have struggled with since my breakup and the fact that the darkness of sleep is another "lonely state" or what (I have yet to explore this with my therapist).
But anyways, I wanted to resurrect this thread as many of the people who posted stopped updating us on their journey. I'm hoping that some of the old posters could update us on how they have managed. I'm hoping to hear some positive stories.
If anything, we can support each other through here.
Like I mentioned, in the past, what helped me get past that somniphobia of two years ago was a combination of medication and therapy; however, not sure if it can still help this time around as I am not sure why this has returned.
I keep telling myself that because it is based on a thought, it can be addressed through the changing of this thought and exploring other factors in my life that are causing me anxiety, whether conscious or subconscious.
Anyways, I'm hoping and wishing everyone well, and hope to hear from anyone. Thank you.