Hypnophobia (somniphobia) - fear of sleep

[gonedarb]

Thank you for all that have put this information up. I have felt alone with this issue. I don't fear going to sleep because I am going to die, I don't really know the reason... Which is really stange, I have sleep apnia which I can die in my sleep... I fight it for as long as I can... I think it is the fear of the next morning coming so soon... Maybe the fear of the time going way to fast. When I do lay in bed my mind is all over the place fighting to keep me awake.... I close my eyes and focus on the blackness if I do that after a bit I do fall asleep. Then when I wake up it is like a big jerk which scares me... Anxiety it seems like but I am not sure if that is what it is.

 

[hannah578]

Oh my god, thank you all for your posts here. I thought I was completely alone in this!
I struggle so much to identify what about going to sleep freaks me out. I’ve narrowed it down to maybe about not feeling like I’ve done enough with my day, fear of the next day coming too quickly, and maybe giving up control to allow my subconscious to take over. Maybe all.

 

[Roosje37]

Finally a diagnoses for my fear! Somehow it's nice to know I'm not the only battling this in the world. It's a crippling fear, because you just can't avoid sleep like you can avoid busy places if that gives you anxiety. For me it's the fear of just disappearing. Being here one moment to be gone the next. For me it's like being dead. I've been living with this for almost a year now and have given up it ever getting better. It's something I have to live with. I try to focus on all the fun things during the day which helps a bit. All too often I need a drink / sleeping pill to help me fall asleep which makes me feel more depressed when I wake up, because I want to be able to sleep on my own. Like I used to....

 

[ashley333]

this is EXACTLY how I feel, I am scared every day once I wake up about sleeping that night. it’s awful. i’m so sorry you have to deal with this too.

 

[Lipsofanangel]

Somewhat torn between gratitude that I'm not alone in this fear and disturbed that how many more people suffer in silence!

I've struggled with sleep on and off in my life, as a toddler I would fall asleep anywhere there are photos of me crashed out in the weirdest places and positions, and I would often sleepwalk. This escalated I. My late teens when my brother found me half climbed out his second story bedroom window saying that I needed to "ring a bell or the people wouldn't know" or something to that effect.

I have had some pretty rough issues with being unconscious, was drugged and raped more than once, I've woken up in bed to the sound of running water and realised I had passed out while washing my hands and somehow just gone back to bed. Always been terrified of anaesthetic and being forced into a state of unconsciousness and feared hypnotherapy and the thought of someone else having ckntr of my mind and body and being helpless to stop it. Yet through all those times I never had the fear that I have now.

It began about 18 - 20 months ago and was awake for like 4 days at a time, my mind was paralyzed to the point that even laying down started my heart racing and brought in panic attacks.

I realised during that time that it was sleep itself that I was afraid of, it was the fear of waking up after having been asleep... Which might be a whole seperate issue!? Who knows.

About 9 months ago I woke up one morning and found my wallet on the kitchen bench competely torn apart, the house was fully locked everything else was untouched and my partner was the only person home who swears he didn't touch it and I still bring it up and grill him about it - because I would feel so much relief if he admitted it was him than the unknown alternative.

A few weeks ago I remember waking at 3am and walking to our kitchenette to get a drink and I saw a flash of the brightest white light and then felt blood spitting out of my eyebrow - it was all through my eye and throught it was my eye! My partner was in bed when I got up and when I turned the light on the kitchen. I still have no idea how or what happened but it was a pretty forceful blow and left a dent which is still visible now that it's healed.

I was terrified to go to the hospital thinking that they would lock me up in the psych ward and never let me out again - yet I KNOW that I am sane but cannot explain what or how it happened.

I guess the main difference I have is that my fears are based on actual things I'm my past, which makes them technically "stressors" more than "Anxieties".

I haven't taken a decent photo in years, don't really use a mirror much but I feel fine but when I see my reflection I look EXHAUSTED!

I wish I could offer solutions than possibly just instigating more fear but I'm feeling pretty desperate to sleep now and jolt awake before I can relax enough to fall asleep, before I know it the sun is rising and I think I will be dead before I'm 40 if this doesn't end soon :-(

Anyone else have unexplained things happen when they do actually sleep and wake up disturbed and rattled?

 

[Rose1988]

Help!

I also have fear of sleep due to wanting control of my thoughts at all times. When you sleep you dont have control. For me it started in 2013 my boyfriend at the time was suppose to be getting out of prison. Instead he got extradited and the night I found out he wasnt coming home is when it started. Usually, after that, I only experience this hell of a phobia for a week or so a year, then the racing thoughts dissipate and I forget I even have it. Not this time it's been going on for over a month. I have tried meditation, yoga, positive affirmations and sleep hypnosis via YouTube videos which seem to only help a handful of times since this last psychosis has taken over. I even take sleep vitamins and benzos and at best I fall asleep at 5am if I'm lucky. I cant get anything done because when I finally awake from my drug induced sleep its 4pm and the day is ending, cant get anything productive done. It's so bad I have lately been thinking about a permanent way out which is scary for me. To think it has taken over to that point. I have no faith in the medical community because they never take it seriously. If anyone has advice please write me. I am desperate, this is living hell. I use to love sleep.