Husband with depression left me

[Lisaloo]

My husband has depression and has started (without seeing the dr) cutting down on his tablets. The other day out of no where he decided to leave me, we’ve been together 9 years and have a child. He said he has no love for me now but it wasn’t long ago he was saying how much he loved me, he’s now blaming our relation for his depression. He’s shown no emotion at all, not even anger, nothing at all, not even sad about not living with his child anymore. I was wondering if anyone’s experienced something similar? I thought we were happy! It’s more the lack of emotions that bother me, I’m wondering whether he’s made this decision because of his depression or if the cutting down on the tablets have made him numb. Thanks for listening

 

[R_Sxo]

Hi Lisaloo,

That's really sad to hear - sorry to hear! Sometimes, some space in relationships can help someone struggling with mental wellbeing, but the manner in which he's done so isn't fair on you and the child. Perhaps he feels frustrated, and is looking for a scapegoat for his depression - remember that depression can be characterised by irrational thoughts. Lack of emotion is typical of depression.

I think the best thing is to give him the space, but ask him if the relationship is over for good. You need clarity over what he intends, for the sake of yourself and your childx

Much love <3

 

[Mommadora]

I'm no expert but the sudden change does make me think it's his illness and self med adjustment.
I'm sure this is so confusing and painful for you!
I hope you can find it in your heart to be patient and forgiving if/when he realizes he doesn't mean it.
I don't doubt it's very hard to live with and love someone with mental illness. I don't know how my husband does it! I remember feeling so low I thought the relationship should end. I felt worthless and hopeless and useless and unlovable and sometimes I was desperate to run away or hide. My memory is foggy but I'm sure I talked to him about this and he always managed to convince me to hang in there.
If he will listen, try to talk to him. See if he'll be able to see reason. Ask him to go to his doctor or therapist. Often I felt this was pointless but I kept going.
I really hope this gets worked out for you.
Hugs

 

[Lisaloo]

Thank you I’m kind of just sitting around in limbo waiting for him to “come to his senses” and come back but I don’t know if that’ll ever happen. If he had shown an ounce of emotion/things have been bad for a while I could accept it, but it coming out the blue and they way he was telling me raised alarm bells, I was in bits and he was almost cheerful, looking at houses for himself like we were booking a family holiday. I either never knew him or he’s changed a lot! Because it was so sudden and out of character I refuse to believe he’s ok in the head, only time will tell I guess. I may very well be wrong and see things totally different to him. But then if I’m right and he appoligises and comes back, what’s to say he won’t do this again.