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Husband Thinks I Cheated. Paranoid Personality Disorder. What Can Be Done?

S

SC yrd

New member
Joined
Nov 10, 2019
Messages
2
Location
East coast
I have been going thru the same thing for 10 years. I have done nothing but argue over this topic. I have left my house...moved my kids with me..and thought I would be stress free. My husband said that he would get himself together so we can get back together. That never happened..and you're right ..IT DOES GET WORSE. I've had all the same experiences which shows me that this is truly a mental health disorder. I've been accused of it all. The incident that made me leave..among others..was my daughter pulled out an old lingerie top from my drawer one night. He wakes me up and asks what the f is this. I'm like that is my lingerie. He goes...well why haven't I seen it. Because all of that stuff in in a drawer..I don't wear it with 3 kids always around. He storms out...I'm thinking not again..because of course he promised to never do this again..and when he came back..loud argument. I said Im leaving you. He got enraged..went away and came back with a picture of a man on his phone. Showed it tp me..like he has caught me cheating. The picture is from an email I had 2 years prior from a woman coworker who sent me a recipe she made for that man's party. She sent pictures to show me to food and he was in it. So my husband spent 2 YEARS having our ups and downs...thinking that he had something on me..which was BS.

In addition..in order to GET that email..he stile my tablet. Which I thought was lost.

Recently..we have been doing family outings..but he still has patterns. I had an event that I invited all my women friends to..and he asked me why he couldn't go. Out of that argument has been a week of hell. He will say he loves me..wants to start over..but acts really upset..obvious mood swings since the event. He is always hurt..upset..or dissapointed about everything. If an old classmate likes my posts..he acts weird..shuts me out...starts asking me questions..talking in hypotheticals about if I was cheating or had someone on the side.

The last straw was this past week..he must have been outside my home..watching me where I could not see him. I saw my neighbor and was talking to her. He starts calling and I don't answer... I finish talking in 5 min and he calls and asks why didn't you answer. Who were you talking to. Again..a huge argument..and I just cant take it. I know I have made a huge mistake by thinking this could get better..but there are so many signs that it will not. I've said a.million times that he needs help. The arguing affects the kids and he acts right for about 3 weeks..then back at it.

Is there any actual good outcome to a person like this. His family hates me. They have been told lies..I'm sure..and I have lost friendships..because every time I went out or had an event..he would raise hell. I just stayed home to keep the peace. Now I am searching for answers and solutions for peace. My husband is always present..he does good things..but his jealous INSECURE ways always take over.
 
L

Lisa0306

New member
Joined
Nov 8, 2019
Messages
3
Location
Florida
I have been going thru the same thing for 10 years. I have done nothing but argue over this topic. I have left my house...moved my kids with me..and thought I would be stress free. My husband said that he would get himself together so we can get back together. That never happened..and you're right ..IT DOES GET WORSE. I've had all the same experiences which shows me that this is truly a mental health disorder. I've been accused of it all. The incident that made me leave..among others..was my daughter pulled out an old lingerie top from my drawer one night. He wakes me up and asks what the f is this. I'm like that is my lingerie. He goes...well why haven't I seen it. Because all of that stuff in in a drawer..I don't wear it with 3 kids always around. He storms out...I'm thinking not again..because of course he promised to never do this again..and when he came back..loud argument. I said Im leaving you. He got enraged..went away and came back with a picture of a man on his phone. Showed it tp me..like he has caught me cheating. The picture is from an email I had 2 years prior from a woman coworker who sent me a recipe she made for that man's party. She sent pictures to show me to food and he was in it. So my husband spent 2 YEARS having our ups and downs...thinking that he had something on me..which was BS.

In addition..in order to GET that email..he stile my tablet. Which I thought was lost.

Recently..we have been doing family outings..but he still has patterns. I had an event that I invited all my women friends to..and he asked me why he couldn't go. Out of that argument has been a week of hell. He will say he loves me..wants to start over..but acts really upset..obvious mood swings since the event. He is always hurt..upset..or dissapointed about everything. If an old classmate likes my posts..he acts weird..shuts me out...starts asking me questions..talking in hypotheticals about if I was cheating or had someone on the side.

The last straw was this past week..he must have been outside my home..watching me where I could not see him. I saw my neighbor and was talking to her. He starts calling and I don't answer... I finish talking in 5 min and he calls and asks why didn't you answer. Who were you talking to. Again..a huge argument..and I just cant take it. I know I have made a huge mistake by thinking this could get better..but there are so many signs that it will not. I've said a.million times that he needs help. The arguing affects the kids and he acts right for about 3 weeks..then back at it.

Is there any actual good outcome to a person like this. His family hates me. They have been told lies..I'm sure..and I have lost friendships..because every time I went out or had an event..he would raise hell. I just stayed home to keep the peace. Now I am searching for answers and solutions for peace. My husband is always present..he does good things..but his jealous INSECURE ways always take over.
I have an extremely similar situation just sent you a PM
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 9, 2012
Messages
11,037
Location
Tigger and Willow's house UK
I have been going thru the same thing for 10 years. I have done nothing but argue over this topic. I have left my house...moved my kids with me..and thought I would be stress free. My husband said that he would get himself together so we can get back together. That never happened..and you're right ..IT DOES GET WORSE. I've had all the same experiences which shows me that this is truly a mental health disorder. I've been accused of it all. The incident that made me leave..among others..was my daughter pulled out an old lingerie top from my drawer one night. He wakes me up and asks what the f is this. I'm like that is my lingerie. He goes...well why haven't I seen it. Because all of that stuff in in a drawer..I don't wear it with 3 kids always around. He storms out...I'm thinking not again..because of course he promised to never do this again..and when he came back..loud argument. I said Im leaving you. He got enraged..went away and came back with a picture of a man on his phone. Showed it tp me..like he has caught me cheating. The picture is from an email I had 2 years prior from a woman coworker who sent me a recipe she made for that man's party. She sent pictures to show me to food and he was in it. So my husband spent 2 YEARS having our ups and downs...thinking that he had something on me..which was BS.

In addition..in order to GET that email..he stile my tablet. Which I thought was lost.

Recently..we have been doing family outings..but he still has patterns. I had an event that I invited all my women friends to..and he asked me why he couldn't go. Out of that argument has been a week of hell. He will say he loves me..wants to start over..but acts really upset..obvious mood swings since the event. He is always hurt..upset..or dissapointed about everything. If an old classmate likes my posts..he acts weird..shuts me out...starts asking me questions..talking in hypotheticals about if I was cheating or had someone on the side.

The last straw was this past week..he must have been outside my home..watching me where I could not see him. I saw my neighbor and was talking to her. He starts calling and I don't answer... I finish talking in 5 min and he calls and asks why didn't you answer. Who were you talking to. Again..a huge argument..and I just cant take it. I know I have made a huge mistake by thinking this could get better..but there are so many signs that it will not. I've said a.million times that he needs help. The arguing affects the kids and he acts right for about 3 weeks..then back at it.

Is there any actual good outcome to a person like this. His family hates me. They have been told lies..I'm sure..and I have lost friendships..because every time I went out or had an event..he would raise hell. I just stayed home to keep the peace. Now I am searching for answers and solutions for peace. My husband is always present..he does good things..but his jealous INSECURE ways always take over.
Is he getting help? You have to do whats right for you and your kids :hug:
 
S

SC yrd

New member
Joined
Nov 10, 2019
Messages
2
Location
East coast
No. Not at all. He thinks he is a great husband..and not insecure at all. He wants his family and love me..but that comes with control. He has a problem with everything. We were cordial for most of the summer. Then is old ways came back. Questioning me about everything..and making accusations.

I don't know what to do..because a divorce will be hell and I would rather not fight than fight.
 
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