Husband Thinks I Cheated. Paranoid Personality Disorder. What Can Be Done?

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Biscuitgirl

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Aug 6, 2015
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#1
Husband Thinks I Cheated. Paranoid Personality Disorder. What Can Be Done?

Hello everyone,

First of all I love my husband and we have a two month old son. Unfortunately he has it in his head that I have cheated on him multiple times. He thinks I cheated before we got married, after marriage, and even when I was pregnant. The stories he tells me are so outrageous it's like he doesn't even know me. He's accused me of sleeping with the neighbors, sneaking men into the house while he has been at work, and even saying I did it while pregnant with my mom visiting. He's telling his family and friends that our son isn't his. Says I'm trash. Posting naked pictures of me on Facebook, and said I delivered our son early due to my cheating. It was God's punishment to me.

He was coming home off and on during the week to "visit" with me when he was suppose to be working. Each time he came home I was asleep on the couch, watching tv, doing housework, and pretty much being a good stay at home wife. I quit my job, stopped going shopping as much, and I NEVER had anyone over. And I STILL get accused of cheating. No matter what I say or do I'm always "up to something", "being sneaky", or "I must be with them". Them being the stalkers in his mind.

I've tried to convince him that we both need counseling, but he won't go for it. He says he loves me, but I can't live with someone who constantly thinks I'm cheating. And him going back and forth about our son being his or not. I told him I'd happily get a paternity test ordered because I have nothing to hide.

I will say though my health is better since I moved out. I still love my husband, but can't be with him. I've prayed, prayed, and prayed. Tried to be super sweet, and I've also tried tough love. NOTHING gets through to him. When I stay quiet it's bad, and when I stand up for myself it's worse. I'm looking at separation or divorce. I've asked him if I'm cheated so much why be with me? He claims he loves me and says I've fallen into the stalkers trap. That it's not my fault. Wash, rinse, repeat on everything. It would be easier if he hated me instead of saying he wants me back and loves me. It's tearing me apart.

Does anyone have any treatment options that work? How did you get your spouse/relative/friend to seek help? Things have been so bad, I have no hope.
 
Unique1

Unique1

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Jan 27, 2015
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#2
Hi Biscuitgirl.

Im sorry for your struggles with your husband it is so hard when you love someone and they won't get the help or support they obviously need to give you both a chance.

My father was as you describe to my mother , it made for an awful childhood for me.

I don't know the answers and the most obvious ones Ie support and counselling he Is refusing.
In my opinion if he wants to save the marriage he should do anything to get help. I don't know the answers I wish I did.
Perhaps there would be something on the mind site that would guide you, they have a part for people trying to help others who need support,perhaps some advice there on how to get him to get help, Home | Mind, the mental health charity - help for mental health problems

Maybe someone else will come along who can advise better.

I truly wish you well it's a very exhausting situation you are in. I know my mothers health suffered..

Also Welcome to the forum, it's a great place to come along and read posts and post!

Unique1 xx
 
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Tryoung

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Apr 17, 2018
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#3
Hello, I know it’s been awhile since you’ve posted this but I’m going through the same thing and it’s driving me crazy!! I don’t know what else to do! I don’t want a divorce, I love my husband! But I am not cheating on him and never have!! Did yours ever get better? Please let me know what the end results were. I just can’t handle this anymore! It’s literally making me crazy!

Thank you
 
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Brambles

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May 19, 2019
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Abingdon
#4
Hello, I know it’s been awhile since you’ve posted this but I’m going through the same thing and it’s driving me crazy!! I don’t know what else to do! I don’t want a divorce, I love my husband! But I am not cheating on him and never have!! Did yours ever get better? Please let me know what the end results were. I just can’t handle this anymore! It’s literally making me crazy!

Thank you
I am also going through the same thing did you ever get an answer? Can they get better ? My husband is accusing me of sleeping with all of his work colleagues and friends each time I raise the subject with him he adds someone else to the list. He cheated on me and told me 8 years ago he said he was so sorry me only told me because he got paranoid that everyone knew. This so is why it hurts so much because I forgave him and have always been faithful I come from a broken home and would never cheat. He now says he wants to leave me because I won’t admit what I have done. We have been together for 23 years married for 20 and have 2 wonderful teenagers who will be broken if they find out. Please help me with advice if you can . Thank you