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husband personality disorder? anyone similar..

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madhouse88

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Sep 29, 2020
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bristol
Hello guys,

I wasn't sure where to post. I think my husband suffers from some sort of personality disorder. in 2018 he went to the GP to get some antidepressants. He reports feeling depressed for most of his adult life, (he was 31 then) but had managed to work, and even get onto a degree and study alongside part time work. Our youngest daughter was born in 2015 and he has been traumatised by the birth since then and has said he cannot have any more children because of that. ( I have a 10 YO girl, previous relationship, he is step dad).

So, since he took the antidepressants he fell asleep at work and got sacked and this impacted his uni degree and he got suspended from that. It has been a spiral downwards ever since. His depression worsened and he also suffers anxiety. He was seen by the consultant psych once or twice i think? after he tried the usual Sertraline/Citalopram and it didn't work.

The psychiatrist put him on Mertazipine, and gradually increased this. He has only seen his GP since, the GP has gone back to the MH team for meds advice but they have never wanted to see my husband again. He then went on Venlafaxin and took this alongside the mertazapine.

He has not been able to hold down a job since, and went through a bad stage. Now the reason I think he might have a personality disorder is because he is very impulsive and reckless. He went through a stage where he stole a phone, he gambled, he started to drink alcohol (never used to drink) All at different stages but he goes up and down. He has a very strange way of thinking, he cannot understand or accept other peoples opinions. I have said about a mood stabilzer recently when I rang the GP myself and suggested he has got a personality disorder but nothing was done about it. They just said yes you could be right however, he needs to wait for his CBT (on waiting list) and not change meds ect and nothing else they can do.

With the being out of work thing, we are waiting an assessment for ESA (face to face on hold) and finally sent off for PIP form. I feel that he is not 'bad' enough for it as they basically say you have to be severly impared mentally/physically to get support group or PIP.

But he cannot work, he feels nauseous every time he has to leave the house due to his anxiety. He will do stupid and reckless stuff if he does start work as hes so anxious and his mind cannot cope. He can spend days in bed, hes so irritable. Even now, when things are stressful at home hes so bad but when things are calm, the girls are at school he can cook a meal and be 'normal' but he has been like this for over a year and not getting any better over all. its financially draining. I work part time and night shifts because I need to be there for my girls and the pets/house. If hes having a bad time then he cannot look after them. I am a health professional myself, stressful job and never thought we would end up here. Renting and living each month counting my pennies but my husband tries to get jobs and just cannot cope and I do not know what else to do. If he can get PIP then it will ease the financially strain slightly and hopefully we can afford private therapy again which has helped previously.

I do not know what I am trying to gain from this post, anyone in a similar position maybe?

thanks for reading x
 
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bpd2020

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May 25, 2020
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England
I am no expert but he sounds very depressed and maybe drinking and alcohol is being used as a crutch to make him feel better. I would go to your GP together and explain your concerns as request a psychiatrist again. It is odd the original did not wish to continue seeing him or give any diagnosis.

I am sorry you are going through this. It must be very stressful and worrying for you.
 
M

madhouse88

New member
Joined
Sep 29, 2020
Messages
2
Location
bristol
Thank you for your reply. He isn't currently doing any drugs, alcohol or gambling. He has beers 2 times a week but that is it. We've recently got a dog as like a companion and to help him get more exercise/stay calm. He is doing well on that front.

I find the GP useless, they just fob you off and don't want to change anything. They say we need to work on it ourselves and wait for more therapy...

Problem is, hes not a very showy person, if he was stood on the edge of a building he would get.more help. He has said many times he wish he wasnt here, he wishes he was dead but doesnt have the guts to actually kill himself. He has tried to overdose before once though. Again, because he thinks he wouldnt do it no one is interested and he just continues with the only people this impacting is me and the girls. I'm so hoping he can get somewhere with his health assessments, people just do not understand the impact of mental illnesses unless they are experiencing it themselves its awful.
 
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bpd2020

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Location
England
For your GP to say you need to work on things yourself is utterly useless and unhelpful. If you were managing then you would not have gone to the GP in the first place. I am sorry you have had this experience. Is it possible to see a different GP? It is very concerning your GP is not taking this seriously. These days GPs are meant to support mental illness so this is appalling.
 
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