Hurts When He Calls Me a Whore

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sallimae76

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He keeps telling me that all the girls want easy sex, and are leaving their monogamous relationships to have sex with strangers. He should be in heaven, fucking all of them. Yet he chooses to be here with me, and call a virgin a whore.
 
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Zoe1

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so sorry sallimae

I hope you can find help

:love: 🧡 :love:
 
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sallimae76

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The only help I need is for the invisible man to leave me alone.
 
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sallimae76

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I need JS to leave me alone. He is an abomination.
 
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Zoe1

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I hope he will leave you alone :love:
 
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Zoe1

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who is JS ? :loveshower: 🧡
 
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sallimae76

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JS is the man behind the voices. A sexual abuser from my childhood. He has god like powers, won't leave me alone.

I recently tried online dating and THREE men in succession told me that their girlfriend's left the monogamous relationship to have sex with multiple men. All are telling tales of "wicked women". If this is the case, the invisible man should be in heaven, with all of the women lining up for no strings attached sex. He has told me I am ugly, and overweight, and undeserving of a man's love, and that my only hope for a relationship is with a woman. So I waived the white flag, and tried to live a quiet life on my own. Yet, this is a problem too.

I did not make this world. He should have never freed the slaves, that way he could have forced me to have sex with anyone and everyone.

I am starting a new job on Tuesday. I will IMMEDIATELY go to a doctor to get psychotic medications. I pray he will go away if I play along. I want so desperately to salvage my professional career. People I graduated with make over 100k, have houses in good neighborhoods and spouses and children. He has fucked up my career so much, just trying to break even, but if I have to live in a group home for the mentally ill, I will.
 
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Zoe1

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n yeah I used to have trouble with god like powers
remember that Hindu goddess I shows you
maybe she could help you ?

I think if you keep sharing here
as much as you need to
you might start to have the power back

:love: :love: :love:
 
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sallimae76

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Thank you Zoe. I know I live in the invisible man's world. He has crashed my perceptions of reality man times. I wish he would give me cancer or a heart attack so that we never had to ser each other again. Don't want an afterlife. I just want this life to go by as quickly as possible.
 
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Zoe1

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I have been there ... with different characters,
different disguises,
maybe it was the same thing

life is not at all perfect now
but I'm feeling better about it

some days I'm just ' getting by '
but there are some good times as well now

:love: :love: :love:
 
Someoldguy

Someoldguy

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If you are still a virgin, then you won a long time ago. Why do you perceive yourself still in the race?
 
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sallimae76

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I don't feel like a winner. I will pay ANY price to get these voices to go away. I will lose my virginity to anyone. I will perform even the most vile sex act. I will do anything to get my peace of mind back. I keep asking him to be clear, what does he need to see from me? What can I do that won't disturb his world view? He won't respond, just says "ape" over and over again, and "burn" and "I'm mad". I don't want to fight him. He can win the perception game. I will pay any price to get my peace back. And I can feel his alien presence in my mind. There's a strong uncomfortable energy in my temple.
 
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sallimae76

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Is he just trying to drive me to suicide?
 
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sallimae76

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Saying "we're mad" and "you're in hell". EVERYONE around me pretends to be politically correct. EVERYONE owns property and has good jobs and goes on vacations. What does he expect of me? I am not even allowed to have what the least of my peers have? I remember the brutal racism and the cruelty by other blacks in the early days and the brutal treatment of girls. He pretended REAL quick that this life had changed, I guess he just couldn't pretend anymore. I really wonder if he is going to go away when I get on medication.
 
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sallimae76

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JS pretended to be a four year old girl, and he tried to perform oral sex on me when I was 13. The sexual situations were often and shameful growing up. That four year old girl now pretends like she is the picture of motherhood and a perfect house maker with 3 children and a perfect husband.
 
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sallimae76

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Health insurance kicks in this week. We will see if the medication works.
 
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sallimae76

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He keeps calling me a whore. I have never had sex. I performed oral sex once because he told me there was something wrong with me for being a virgin.
 
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