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Hurts to be unlovable

S

sci31A

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Joined
Jul 6, 2014
Messages
459
An emotion need I have not been able as of yet to rid myself of, the need for love & affection.

It hurts and dampens my spirits, makes me feel like just giving up.

Pick myself up brush my self down and continue on.:BLAH::low:

At my age it's pretty much over and done with, add this to the already fact that I'm kinda ugly looking. Why I have been single my entire life just too damn ugly to be considered even remotely attractive.:shrug:

Just trying to alleviate the pain away.

Never mind......
 
L

lovagemuffin

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Joined
Oct 21, 2014
Messages
640
your being incredibly hard on yourself, you cant iradicate the nee for love its a biological need everyone has.
plentyoffish.com free local dating site never too late to find love if that's what you want. tc
 
M

Mastiff mom

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Jun 22, 2014
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Washington,DC
Very few of the human population is unloveable so you've got to stop being your own worse enemy by lying to yourself. It can be a self fulfilling prophesy to believe and act upon the falsehood that you are unloveable.i am sure you have many good qualities-- but you need to stop beating yourself up. I think you are special and if you begin to believe that nothing can stop you!
 
Purple Chaos

Purple Chaos

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Oct 23, 2014
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1,079
You are being hard on yourself and you're never too old! As Lovagemuffin suggests, have you tried dating sites? I know they're not for everyone but I also know of several people who have found them successful. My aunt recently married someone she'd met through plenty of fish.

If the dating sites don't appeal, could you perhaps join any local groups or clubs, just to get to know more people?
 
V

volnash

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Oct 16, 2014
Messages
566
Dating sites are becoming more and more popular, thus more people are on them im sure there is someone special out there for you, never lose hope.
 
L

lovagemuffin

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Oct 21, 2014
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640
I met my boyfriend on plenty of fish, been together nearly 7 years now
my sister met her husband on a dating site.
 
Davey Blueeyes

Davey Blueeyes

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Jul 22, 2013
Messages
756
Location
Isle of Wight
An emotion need I have not been able as of yet to rid myself of, the need for love & affection.

It hurts and dampens my spirits, makes me feel like just giving up.

Pick myself up brush my self down and continue on.:BLAH::low:

At my age it's pretty much over and done with, add this to the already fact that I'm kinda ugly looking. Why I have been single my entire life just too damn ugly to be considered even remotely attractive.:shrug:

Just trying to alleviate the pain away.

Never mind......
We all need love and affection, it's hardwired into us. Plus please don't be so hard on yourself. I have never met an ugly person in all my life and i'm not starting with you!! You are beautiful as we all are and it's great that we are all different.

If someone is with you just for your looks, yeah, you don't need them, trust me
 
BlueBerry

BlueBerry

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Sep 13, 2014
Messages
1,261
Location
Edinburgh
I know the feeling of being unlovable. When I got bullied by some nasty girls at high school they always told me I would die alone and no guy would ever want to touch me.

It kinda sucks that they were right on the money. :BLAH:
 
J

Jigglypuff Fan

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Jun 26, 2014
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Avenue Q in the US
I can relate in a way. I feel unwantable. I just want someone who will talk to me longer than two weeks and acknowledge I exist after two weeks and not abandon me.
 
Davey Blueeyes

Davey Blueeyes

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Jul 22, 2013
Messages
756
Location
Isle of Wight
I don't want anyone here feeling like that. It's not right and other people will see much more in you than you will, that's my experience.

You are all lovely :hug: x
 
Jaminacaranda

Jaminacaranda

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Aug 18, 2013
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East of England
I also met my current partner on plenty of fish! We've been living together for four years now. I was 58 when I started dating again and I'm no 'looker'. Just wanted to reiterate what others say. Still, when you've got low self-esteem online dating is probably a bit too daunting and there can be lots of disappointments.
 
blueflames

blueflames

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Apr 1, 2014
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3,705
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Anywhere but reality
Attractiveness comes from the inside imo. Someone who is loving, friendly and kind shows in their face and appeals to me more than someone who is just good looking.

I know how you feel about not being enough or worth loving. I also understand the feeling like it is too late. I know I wont meet anyone, wont have the proposal or get married or experience the the closeness or stability that love brings. I will never have a child either and though I am not sure I want kids, to know that the choice is slipping away can hurt some days. It's hard to face all those things but maybe just try and adjust those wants and hope for a more settled reality that is still obtainable?

You never know what the future holds xx
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

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Joined
Aug 17, 2012
Messages
13,529
Location
The West Country
I think that society/our culture puts waaaay to much importance on "romantic love".
Particularly as we're not tribal or have a sense of community like other parts in the world...
Turn on the TV, radio, watch a film - the message you will get is that having partner is somehow the ultimate in love.

There are other types of love though that are equally as valuable and rewarding (or in some cases, more valuable and rewarding) than romantic love.

Like, i've never had a proper boyfriend at 25. I've been hidden, had sex with but no man has ever wanted to public admit that I am the girl he wants by his side. I could very easily feel like shit and get depressed.
But I know i'm so loved by my parents, my dogs look at me like a hero, my sister is my best friend, there are friends who care about me so much etc. etc.
And I just think, so what if I haven't got one person next to me?
There's an army of people who love me for who I am, just because it's in a non-sexual way, it doesn't make it any less valuable. If anything it makes it purer, I suppose.


Sorry if none of this resonates, i'm sorry if it's coming across like i've missed the point - I do know how it feels to be chronically single and it sucks. I can get very bitter, nasty and cynical at times.
But sometimes our needs to love and touch can be met outside of a romantic relationship. Just my thoughts. x
 
coldwater00

coldwater00

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Joined
Jun 19, 2013
Messages
3,372
Location
Yorkshire
I can relate, except I am not ugly, which I think also makes it hard as I know men would be interested if I could meet them and I wasn't so bloody anxious all the time.

I really want to be loved and have romantic affection in my life again. I think things would be better if I did have that.
 
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