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Humourous voices- Funny things they say



I know that some people have nice voices. Sometimes they can say things that are quite funny, . So I thought I would start a thread on this topic, for people to add something their voices said they made them smile or laugh..
I will start it off.

The other night at dinner, I placed my "offering" in its place. We had takeaways, so I just put a few hot chips on it(I just do a small side plate). I looked at it and thought, hmm that doesnt look like enough, but decided that would do.

Later that evening I was on the computer when I heard a voice say
" I'm still hungry"
So I got up and put a Kiwifruit on the plate and sat back down again. About half an hour later I heard the voice say

" Whats the brown furry thing?"
I laughed.
In my mind I answered it " Its a kiwifruit, you cut it open and eat the fruit out of the inside."
"Oh okay" it answered.

How funny, they must not have seen one before.


:D :D


Another thing on the way to the theatre.......


just a synopsis on a man who called a doctor on a boy who changed his name and a woman who did nothing but....

wor wor wor and worry for the worl and worry herself on death and what was to come over after, and what it all amounted to was....

she was right all along, and so on and so forth and so forces be with her and gospel that woman is a gal called kerri and she is so now and so dhen that she just about boils over with happiness all the time, for she came upon a summer's nile many many tears agop, and met a man who made her happy and glad, and then she got her left leg tucked under and her right leg did a dilly dandle and what she did was...

oh ho excuse me, here is a you tube song for you and you and you so I do so hope you lite t'it and it goes somehow like dhis:

Once upon a s'time
Many years ago
A man called Saffron
Called in her house
And said, where are you going, my dear
And what she did was....

Dim her lipes, ditch her clothes and go running around the garden, not unlike a teddy bear, and one step, two steps and gosh.....

guess what....

She got herself sectioned......



gosh eviette...how interesting u r

hope you are well now, you know I have to say it, you must have been scared out of your 'wits' the times when I was sectioned were no more than 4 or perhaps it was 5, I can't quite remember so, do you know that you are exceeding yourself in sort of knowing that they should not have dun you wrong.

U know s'all and I are all there for you now and you can come and live with me, should you be without a home again, and sort of know you as of old, and sorted now.....

Sectioned my friends 6 times, you know, all for 3 days, then for months, and then followed by a year, and she had done nothing wrong, in fact, once she went out in the middle of the night wearing h er slippers, you know, forgot them by mistake, and guess wot...... the police found her laughin her head off, took her to the insane asylum and she was as rigamortis with fear as anyone could b e, and all she had done was say....

no, no more tablets.

Got herself a great full time job now, is so off men because of.......

well you know, a mistress you know, and he dumpted her the day when she asked him.....

oh hell, oh well, you don't know me, so don't suppose she would mind me saying. He had got a wife and two kids and wanted a bit of nookie on the side, and got her, cos she was his secretary, boffin off over the desk and gospel, she aint been the same girl since, and some dick head diagnosed her as schizoid because she has had a breakdown, and she flashed her boobs one day, not that she had got any, by wearing a see through blouse and no bra.....

so go on, accuse me of being an alcoholic like she was, for she went in to work full of smellies after a night on the gin and what did they do.....

sacked her.

so her picks herself up and now is working for british telecon telling s'all sorts of folks off for being absolutely barking insane, while she has found out she was the sanest one there.

And oh heck, guess what, her is still trying to destroy the evidence that she has on file that she does still need the tablets, or so they said.....heh heh heh

not so sunny then, but tis now....ho ho ho:LOL:


I heard a voice say
" I'm still hungry"
So I got up and put a Kiwifruit on the plate and sat back down again. About half an hour later I heard the voice say

" Whats the brown furry thing?"
I laughed.
In my mind I answered it " Its a kiwifruit, you cut it open and eat the fruit out of the inside."
"Oh okay" it answered.
My voice Shirley does this too! Even though anything i know she knows as well, because she has access to my memories/knowledge, but she sometimes doesn't bother looking in the files, so to speak, and asks me questions like this! It makes me laugh.


Shirley: What looking for?
Me: Angels.
Shirley: What kind of angels.
Me: (with a shrug) Beautiful angels.
Shirley: Are there any other kinds? What of the angel of death?
Me: Maybe he’s so tragically beautiful the sight of him makes you weep?
Shirley: How do you know the angel of death is male? Maybe /I/ am the angel of death.
Me: Your face does make me weep, but not out of beauty...
Shirley: ooooohhhhh nice one.
Me: We say all kinds of evils to each other.
Shirley, with a shrug: It passes the time.
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