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Huge phobia of sex scenes/nudity

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DitsyBee

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Ok so I am here looking for advice not judgement or opinions on sex/porn

I have a massive phobia of my partner watching anything with any nudity or sex I get anxious feel sick sweat feel unwanted rejected unattractive I just cant bare it and we do avoid it because it is a massive problem It has escalated into an even bigger issue even attractive women on tv or internet or in the street wherever I can't handle it

It all stemmed from around age 18 I am now 29 my ex was abusive and watched pron alot and all the movies he watched had a lot of sex/nudity in which didnt bother me until he started watching porn behind my back and to be fair him watching porn didnt bother me at first we would watch it together until he started chipping away at my self esteem and then it became a massive issue he was both mentally and physically abusive

So fast forward to now I have this huge phobia and it is truly awful I panic and worry alot over it I wont watch a movie with any of this in and if something was to come up I get so angry hurt even though deep down I know its not his fault but it doesn't change how it makes me feel I wish I could put it into words how much I suffer internally it is like pure and utter torture and I am not exactly unattractive and I know he loves me and finds me attractive and so on

Now this is another issue which I have never really told anyone or discussed in any detail as it confuses the hell out of me please don't judge as I am just as confused as you probably will be...

So I have this massive phobia which takes over my life anything to do with other woman nudity or attractive woman which I put down to the abusive ex partner but despite this majority of the time when we have sex my biggest fantasy is my partner having sex with another woman in front of me... yeah confusing so I spend my life panicking but then I fantasize over it? I just don't know what is wrong with me I am to embarrassed to tell anyone about it

I even look up movie content before we watch anything which is rare we do as I avoid TV like the plague he watched a movie about a year ago and I just looked up the content and it had all kinds of nudity and sex init and my hands are sweating heart racing feel sick and actually want to confront him I feel it is getting out of control and ruining my life still after all these years I need actual professional help but how and where I already go to counselling but it is more of a listening thing and I think it would take more to address and sort this than someone just listening to me
first thing I’ve read that explains my issue to a tee. The only thing I’ve been able to do is look away when things come up. If I don’t see them see it or see what they see then it’s not so bad. I’m fortunate to have someone who seems very numb to sexual content and doesn’t watch porn/respects my wishes to not watch it. I’d like to be able to just watch the damn movie though.

maybe a lot of people feel this way because the world is definitely hyper sexual. And many of us do own a moral code that flags this as something not right...the misrepresentation of female bodies plays a part. And if nudity is this rampant in media, then surely someone is thinking with a dirty mind. And if so, surely many people think the same way. For it to be so common and to hear your partner say that they just don’t see it like that just doesn’t seem to make sense. I kind of wish everyone viewed nudity like I do. It’s cool or whatever but just look away? If you walked in on a couple having sex, it would be weird to stare right? Why is it ok to watch just because it’s on a movie? I just can’t really understand it and kind of refuse to just say there’s something wrong with ME when perhaps there’s something wrong with the whole damn thing. But am I wrong? It is everyone else?
 
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DitsyBee

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guys my bf wants me to watch the suicide squad with him in the cinema and apparently there’s a 7 minute sex scene god i feel like crying and throwing up what the hell, i can’t say no bc i’ll feel bad but what the hell am i supposed to do during the scene :low:
just look down...or excuse yourself to the bathroom...it works for me idk
 
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Anxietyhell

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I think there are some couples that will watch porn together, maybe it spices up their sex life and they find it arousing.. I think my ex watched porn and concealed it from me, I think the internet has obviously made that opportunity available to everyone....I personally found it off putting, and in ways demoralising and disrespectful to our relationship .. For me it takes away any romance and is just gratuitous sex, and most human beings want to feel loved and validated as a person , not just to feel like an object... I wonder also, how many men would actually feel if they found their partners watching porn.. Would it make them feel a bit intimidated or that they did not satisfy their women?.. Lots of men with good bodies, and large parts and seemingly able to satisfy a female - when many can't and don't.. Interesting thoughts
 
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Tmr

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Sep 15, 2021
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Regina Saskatchewan
I am struggling with this extremely terrible… me and my partner are currently watching Wolf of wall street. Could someone who is going through this maybe message me?? I’m at a complete loss on what to do. He just gets mad at me when a female nude scenes comes on and I get upset..

I don’t get mad it him or ask him to look away, I either sit in silence for hours or I get up and leave the room.

He knows it upsets me but he doesn’t understand why I think(frankly neither do I, just me with 0 self esteem at all). But it pisses him off, when we were watching it last night I went completely silent, once he turned it off I was still a bit upset so I didn’t say much. He ended up getting mad flipping over and going to bed without giving me a kiss or saying goodnight and he loves me, which he knows is a huge deal to me…
 
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Anxietyhell

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Unfortunately there is quite of nudity/ sex scenes on TV now ( never used to be as much).. A lot more is often shown of a woman too...As someone that has always struggled with low self esteem, I can relate.. I think if we feel insecure about ourselves then it can manifest when we are presented with something or someone we perceive as maybe looking better or acting in a way we cant or dont.. Maybe we feel a bit threatened by it? embarrased or even a bit jealous because we feel our partner may be aroused by looking at another woman.. Men don't always get or understand all those feelings and emotions.. I think In his mind, maybe the fact he is with you - and always usually kisses and tells you he loves you should confirm his commitment to your relationship.. So he doesn't understand why you should get upset by a nude woman on TV...
 
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Cecelily

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So I’m a 21 female and I’ve been dating my bf for almost 5 years. I’ve always had a problem with nudity and sexual scenes. I was sexually abused by my ex for a year and I had I think an incident of sexual assault when I was a child. I only remember blurs and my childhood is fuzzy. So a lot of things I am uncomfortable with and I hate to be controlling but I do ask my bf to not look, and to help me “build up” towards watching things like that. I wasn’t always like this it got worse maybe ab 2 years ago.

I have awful freak outs, panics, and everything towards this and I really want him to just stop it for me but I don’t think he will. He gets annoyed and saysthat I’m controlling. I don’t think he gets how difficult it is for me. I literally almost ripped out my hair. It just bothers me. It makes me sick and freak out and hate myself. It’s not that I even think I’m unattractive,i Think I’m very attractive and I don’t worry ab most women in person, I just idk.

I really just want to be “normal” like I just don’t want to go through this anymore and when I did therapy I felt like I was opening a can of worms.Does anyone know anything that can help? I’m literally begging.
 
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Elbeans

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Thanks so much for saying that! It really does help having a partner who's willing to at least try and accommodate for something like this. But even so it's still a real struggle. It's literally everywhere. Even in a show as tame as Vampire Diaries (which has a tv-14 rating) still has some sensual makeout scenes. While those aren't nearly as uncomfortable, they're still sensual and can cause discomfort for someone as sensitive as I am. I've been slowly learning to get less reactive to it tho which is nice! Anyway off track-

Being that it's everywhere, it can make it hard to find anything good to watch with my boyfriend because all the other really good looking supernatural, or otherwise "adult" tv shows and movies always have at LEAST 1 sex scene that is a 4 or higher on my personal "sex scale" as I call it.

(A 0-1 is basically not even sex, just making out. 2-4 is anywhere from clothed making out/touching to at least someone's shirt off, and the rest are Netflix and game of thrones level stuff.)

I can only handle to around a 3 with anyone around, but even still only about that much on my own. 👀

There is a bright side tho!!! I recently discovered a video on YouTube called "6 lies of childhood trauma I'll send the link. And one was about sex and it actually really opened my eyes to what I was feeling and where some of my issues were coming from. Now obviously this won't fix everything or anything like that...but it personally brought me some insight on myself and actually in a weird way brought me comfort. It is a little rough though, it can bring up some feelings so just a little warning for you. But there's no triggering visuals or anything so it's safe.

Also regarding your other comment about your partner: maybe try explaining it to him in the way you did to us? Like how it's uncontrollable and painful for you. And honestly I can completely understand the feeling of being with someone's who's perfect in every way except that ONE thing. My bf and I are still struggling with him watching that stuff at all. I do admit I could losen the reins a little bit and not worry too much about that's he's watching when I'm not around...but at the same time I struggle thinking about the fact that he's watching it at all. If that makes sense...sometimes these are things we just have to work through together, and there is no clean cut solution. Especially not in the begining. I make it sound like ice been in a 30 year relationship lol, but honestly I guess really just sit down with them and rather than reason, just let each other express how you feel, and really try to understand each other.

I'm not much help since I don't fully understand the reasoning behind wanting to "support the director"...you can skip a scene and still support them by even watching the show in the first place...

Um anyway, don't wanna dis on anyone so I'll just leave it at that. I totally understand how your feeling and that's a really frustrating situation.

I'd say just try and see if maybe there's more to the story that both of you aren't seeing from each other? A lot of times I have problems with my bf or family etc. Is because of lack of communication. Wether it's withholding information because of fear of judgment, or not being able to express themselves properly, etc. Theresa lot of reasons someone may not be communicating to you properly, even possibly without knowing it. The worst that can happen is they refuse to talk, or don't care to try and fix anything.

I guess my last advice would be to say that if they aren't willing to fix any of their behavior or they don't want to compromise with you...maybe it would be best to think about the relationship as a whole..your partner should support you and want to do whatever they can to make you feel comfortable and happy. Someone who isn't willing to change now, never will. But maybe I'm wrong, maybe there's more to the story than that.

Whatever the case may be I wish you the best of luck, and if you need to talk more I'm happy to. :)
Your personal "sex scale" sounds like a really helpful tool and I might consider putting that together - it also gives a possible scale of recovery too and also a hard line where beyond that I'd feel justified avoiding it..

I wish i didn't take it all so personally. I wish I could just be 'above it' like other people - I never know how to believe a guy who says he doesn't see all this sex in media stuff as, well, sexual. I get so angry and resentful like BUT IT'S FOR YOU AND YOUR STUPID PENUS.

I'm getting a private therapist soon. I will report back. I'm glad I'm not alone.
 
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Elbeans

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Lancaster, Lancashire
boyfriend wants me to watch the suicide squad with him, apparently it’s a good movie but it’s rated 15 so i wanted to see why by looking at the parents guide, it has a fair amount of nudity and it’s in the cinema we’re watching it in so we can’t even skip it! he thinks i’m insane for caring about those scenes, all i know is if i watch it then i’m gonna throw up or maybe even run out of the cinema full of disgust, he doesn’t know how bad it is for me. im sorry your boyfriend called you toxic, i don’t think you are, i think your boundaries are clear and nice and to be honest there’s nothing wrong with skipping those scenes bc half of the time it isn’t part of the plot anyway
Flip's sake I didn't realise I couldn't watch suicide squad. Ffs. I thought with the new one having a female director I wouldn't have to deal with yet another show or movie deciding to have scenes in strip clubs. Yay. Sexualised women treated as background furniture which most people wouldn't think twice about which makes it WORSE. Feels disrespectful to those women, as well as disrespectful to all women, and mostly, unfortunately, I zone in on their bodies, particularly boobs, and have a meltdown because it makes me feel so bloody inferior. Like I will never be able to keep the attention of my partner.

It's definitely attachment issues from my mum and my early abusive "relationships" (grooming) and i have all the logic that tells me it's my experiences that make me feel this way and not any generalised thing about how no one will ever be able to love me but apparently my lizard brain hasn't got the memo.

Also I'm 29 :( I hope the younger people here are able to find some clarity and safety sooner than I have. I spent years thinking I could smoke and think my way out of it, but clearly not. It's taken me this long to get a job good enough that I can just about afford the private therapy I need for this.
 
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Elbeans

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Okay... so I guess I'm coming at this from a slightly different angle but I'd value your input. See... I'm a guy that sometimes watches movies with nudity. And I'm not going to lie... sometimes I seek this content out because I simply want to see it for my own sexual enjoyment. I know that sounds terrible... but I sometimes seek out movies with nudity in the same way that many men seek out porn (I don't like extremely graphic pornography... I never have).

Anyway, I admit all that. I wanted to be up front about all of that from the start... but please know that I am in no way disregarding anyone's feelings here... and my wife is in all likelihood, right there with you guys. This may be a longtime phobia she has dealt with. She hates nudity in movies and she can get very angry at the thought of actresses taking off their clothes. She sees it as "fake" and she can get very upset that I would enjoy such fake Hollywood women. But here's the thing... it wasn't always like this for us. For years and years, I looked away or closed my eyes if a woman on TV wore a bra or bikini or anything like that... and we NEVER watched anything with nudity. I'm sure many of you wish your significant others would do that for you... and maybe that is a decent and honorable thing, but also know that it can become an almost unhealthy obsession... especially if the guy is like me and wrestles with OCD.

For me, it got to the point where I was terrified to even look at another woman, worried I'd think she was attractive. It became a big fear for me. I didn't willingly look at a nude woman (other than my wife) for over a decade. I didn't watch PG-13 movies that I really wanted to see, because I knew there were sexual scenes in them... sometimes no nudity at all, but I was worried. Most R-rated movies weren't even on the table... even if it was one I really wanted to see. But I accepted this and felt like I was okay with it... though I suspect I was suppressing some resentment about it.

I tried to be, what I now call, "the good little boy"... because that's what it felt like... like I was trying to be "perfect" for her... because I knew my wife really struggled with this. And I might have even been able to deal with sacrificing those TV shows and movies and all of that, and even the anxiety and fear that it caused me, if there wasn't one other big problem. You see... for the better part of two decades, I have been in a sexless marriage. We do have sex, occasionally, but only if I initiate and for years, sex barely happened at all. This has destroyed my self-esteem. I began to think I wasn't good enough or attractive enough for my wife or anyone else... that she didn't want me at all, or that she didn't even love me. I can't even count the number of nights I laid next to her in bed and yet I felt so alone. I began to gain weight... which has been a struggle for me throughout our marriage... my mental and emotional health got worse and worse. I struggled with paranoia. At times, I was even suicidal, though thankfully I'm no longer in that state-of-mind.

For several years, I was able to cope with these feelings by pouring everything into my work... finding fulfillment through my career... but recently... when we went into quarantine last year... these feelings started to come out. Once we were together 24/7, things just boiled over in me and I really started to feel resentment toward her. I started struggling with intense feelings of hurt and grief for lost years of our sex life... and silly as this may sound, I REALLY began to resent all the years I spent not watching movies or TV shows for her... and then sometime last year, I just started watching them. I felt like I didn't know why I was sacrificing anymore... and I started watching things I wouldn't have before... but it was almost like too much, too fast for me. Like a switch tripped in my brain and once I saw naked women on screen, it was all I wanted. Maybe I'm addicted, or maybe I was just starved. Or maybe it's just my guilt... I've always struggled with guilt. So, I've been wrestling with this.

Sometimes I go weeks without looking at such images... without watching movies with nudity... but then I start to get frustrated again. I have talked to my wife about it a LOT over the past year. She knows and understands my frustration. She is on a journey of self-discovery herself and suspects that she is on the Autism spectrum... maybe Asperger's, and that has likely made communication difficult for us. Also, I have my own emotional baggage going back to my childhood. There is a lot of stuff that we've just never dealt with, together or individually. For years, I tried to share my sexual frustration with my wife, but she wasn't open to talking about it. She is now, but in some ways... I'm sad to say, I've almost lost interest. That breaks my heart, because I wanted her more than anything for years... but after so much rejection, I just kind of gave up. Now that she's ready to try, it's harder for me.

I think that we both likely need therapy... maybe couples counseling at some point, or a sex therapist... yet in the meantime, I still find myself sexually frustrated and it's not easy to avoid temptation. I'm not even sure it's wrong at this point, which is a strange thing to admit... my wife and I are both longtime Christians... but this, on top of many other things, has really shattered my faith.

And so yes... sometimes I watch movies like that... am I proud of it? Well, no... I mean, it doesn't make me feel good about myself... but neither has the rejection I've felt all these years. And the fear that I'd hurt her all those years almost drove me crazy with guilt and anxiety. So, I can't speak for the men in your life... I can only speak for myself... but just know it's possible that some of these guys are just as damaged as you are and are seeking out porn or nudity because of their own low self-esteem or insecurities. It doesn't mean they don't love you. I'm not defending the men who say cruel things to you... and again, I'm not disregarding anyone's feelings. I just know that this is true in my case... that I am emotionally damaged, hurt and frustrated and that seeing such images does something for my shattered self-esteem... even if just for a moment. I'm not saying it's right or defending it at all... I'm not here to argue that with any of you. Just know that sometimes, there is a lot more going on under the surface.
This reply was massively triggering to me and just proved my lizard brain right. I get that you're trying to show your 'side' but jesus read the room.
 
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srd4181

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Ok so I am here looking for advice not judgement or opinions on sex/porn

I have a massive phobia of my partner watching anything with any nudity or sex I get anxious feel sick sweat feel unwanted rejected unattractive I just cant bare it and we do avoid it because it is a massive problem It has escalated into an even bigger issue even attractive women on tv or internet or in the street wherever I can't handle it

It all stemmed from around age 18 I am now 29 my ex was abusive and watched pron alot and all the movies he watched had a lot of sex/nudity in which didnt bother me until he started watching porn behind my back and to be fair him watching porn didnt bother me at first we would watch it together until he started chipping away at my self esteem and then it became a massive issue he was both mentally and physically abusive

So fast forward to now I have this huge phobia and it is truly awful I panic and worry alot over it I wont watch a movie with any of this in and if something was to come up I get so angry hurt even though deep down I know its not his fault but it doesn't change how it makes me feel I wish I could put it into words how much I suffer internally it is like pure and utter torture and I am not exactly unattractive and I know he loves me and finds me attractive and so on

Now this is another issue which I have never really told anyone or discussed in any detail as it confuses the hell out of me please don't judge as I am just as confused as you probably will be...

So I have this massive phobia which takes over my life anything to do with other woman nudity or attractive woman which I put down to the abusive ex partner but despite this majority of the time when we have sex my biggest fantasy is my partner having sex with another woman in front of me... yeah confusing so I spend my life panicking but then I fantasize over it? I just don't know what is wrong with me I am to embarrassed to tell anyone about it

I even look up movie content before we watch anything which is rare we do as I avoid TV like the plague he watched a movie about a year ago and I just looked up the content and it had all kinds of nudity and sex init and my hands are sweating heart racing feel sick and actually want to confront him I feel it is getting out of control and ruining my life still after all these years I need actual professional help but how and where I already go to counselling but it is more of a listening thing and I think it would take more to address and sort this than someone just listening to me
I don’t know if I’d actually even call it a phobia but I am the same way but what is wrong with wanting to feel special? I keep asking myself, how can this not desensitize a person when it’s everywhere. The sexuality and monogamy are sacred in a relationship. Without that, what would you be? Roommates? Friends? I would like to feel like there is something just between us that makes it special. How can it be when everything on tv is full it? He says I bring the warmth but I’m like so does a blanket or a cup of coffee. I don’t know. Guys act like it’s crazy that you’re overreacting, like it’s their God-given right to look at naked women if they but I would not feel right watching a bunch of male strippers or whatever and if I try to turn the tables when a guy has his shirt off, he gets kind of pouty and defensive. I think it’s a valid point. I would never do anything to make him feel bad but if I do, it’s an overreaction. There should be a compromise.
 
ATARI

ATARI

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Hmm. . .

Truth Is, If You're Not Ready For Anything Under The Umbrella Of Sex And Or Nudity.

Don't Enter Into That Realm Until Your Entire Being Of Self, Psychological/Physical, Is Ready. . . :coffee:
 
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Devilfairy500

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Jan 17, 2021
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Hi guys, im still going through the same even after 10 years, its affected every part of our marriage, not just watching tv, but going out, being social and avoiding places like a beach. Has anyone tried talking to psychologist about their issue? Im planning on talking to someone this week. Im hoping they can help
 
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Elbeans

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Lancaster, Lancashire
Hi guys, im still going through the same even after 10 years, its affected every part of our marriage, not just watching tv, but going out, being social and avoiding places like a beach. Has anyone tried talking to psychologist about their issue? Im planning on talking to someone this week. Im hoping they can help
Hellooo! I am here for this one. I Finally got a private therapist 2 months ago. After mostly diagnosing myself with BPD with a sex/nudity phobia for the past 10 years we've been talking about attachment theory and how my anxious attachment is probably quite relevant to this issue - you can do an attachment quiz online to see if this is relevant for you too and definitely bring it up with the therapist?

ALSO I said about how I logically *know* that men aren't all going to want the same thing, and I am worthy of love, and I'm not inferior to everyone, bla bla bla.. but I don't *believe* it, I don't *feel* it, and then my emotions spiral as soon as I see someone I think is prettier than me, or I freak out entirely if there is nudity in something - and she suggested EMDR which I'm going to start in January - good for deep seated emotional trauma memories to try to take away their power to trigger these horrible strong emotions.

I'm really excited at the prospect of this - anything that can really target this issue and help me just enjoy things again and be in a relationship without constant anxiety fear and panic... fingers crossed eh?!

This thread made me really see that as well as our media society having an impact of women's self esteem, those of us who feel it this badly usually do have some form of trauma from our childhood or teens. It's not our fault and it makes sense. Knowing it's not just me that feels this exact thing has kept me going these past months, because it is just what our brains have done to survive, and to protect us. Hopefully we can find a way to teach our brains that we are safe now, and loved, and desirable, and secure.
 
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