hows everyone coping?

C

curlz

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#1
How are fellow carers coping ? I'm still up and down in my relationship with my partner.. I'm trying to fight for what very little relationship we have got just now.. I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle. This makes me feel so sad as I love him so much but since his diagnosis hes not the same person anymore.. I have spoke to him about us and he just doesn't seem to care,hes showing no passion or empathy at all... I told him I'm tired of trying to fight for us as I'm the one that's always trying. I feel like throwing in the towel 😢 does any fellow carers feel like me?
 
Foxjo

Foxjo

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#2
Hi Curlz
My husband has been through a lot with me and my depression. I was always pushing him away because i didnt think i was worthy of him and that he would be better off without me.
I also didnt want to love him because love hurts and i couldnt bear being in love with him and then him leaving me because of my depression. thats what depression does to a person. It sucks the life out of you.
I cant offer any advice as i've only been on the side of the ill person. I just know that my husband was my rock and although at the time of my depression i didnt appreciate him, i do now and think the world of him and am thankful for his support.
You just have to hang on in there. Do you have any support around you? Your mental health is just as important. Could you be referred to some counselling to help you cope?
Hugs
Fox
 
S

SJLPHII

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#3
Foxjo, may I ask, do you ever reflect upon and try to reach out to who you've pushed away once again? Also, what carers would really want to know is, have you ever accepted someone despite the insecurities?
 
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Amigoman116

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#4
I feel exactly the same,Not coping at all


My wife has recently become reliant on diazepam again to the extent that I have to give her her meds in the morning and then take myself out of the situation until her next dose is due,she gets up and dressed but then she lays on the sofa and doesn't move,the mental health team are useless,when you can get them to answer the phone they care not interested unless I take her to a&e,difficult when she won't leave the house,I broke down in tears this morning in front of her,I couldn't help it,but she just lay there oblivious,I really don't know what to do now,I really should be there for her but it's the constant begging for diazepam,we have had long talks over the last week's when she promises to do little things around the house and go out for a short walk but then breaks every promise or puts condition on it like,I'll have a diazepam and then I'll do this....but then when pill is taken reverts back to the sofa,I'm at my wit's end,I don't want to go out all day but I feel I have no choice because inevitably I will give in to her demands as I can't bear to see her cry and it's not helping her,I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place with no way out
 
A

Amigoman116

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#5
I know exactly how you feel,I have the same problem with my wife,I love her dearly but I don't know how much longer I can cope with the constant crying and begging for extra medication,I have spent the last week sleeping in my car in car parks because can't sleep at home with the constant fear of her waking me at all hours for medication,it seems that she only needs me to supply her meds she doesn't interact with me any other way,the local mental health team are useless they won't even come and see her ,I feel like we have been abandoned by the system.
 
Not_Crazy_Yet

Not_Crazy_Yet

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#6
I cant really relate to the begging for medication thing as I'm not on any fun drugs and I dose myself as I live alone. When I was living with my sister I would wake her at all hours because I was upset and crying or angry or just needed to talk to someone in real life. I'm sure it becomes very trying and tiresome on our caters, and for that I'm sorry for what you must be going thru. My ex wife would cry to get what she wanted (shes bipolar btw) which was usually a ride to the emergency room for a shot of demeral. (She would purposely dislocate her shoulder so they'd give her the shot). I don't know what advise I could give other than to concur with foxjo. Living with a mental illness sometimes takes all the energy we have and ar have no more to give, but getting hooked on benzos isn't the answer either. It sounds like some substance abuse counseling might be in order. Also does your wife take an antidepressant? Before I started taking zoloft I only got out of bed to eat or go to the bathroom, and most of the time I would eat in bed too so I really only got up to use the bathroom. Maybe some treatment either thru meds or therapy or both would help the depression. Take care.
 
write

write

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#7
^ You've filled the entire side bar now!
 
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