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How will I know when my meds are right?

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Failing Heart

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When you are having your meds adjusted, what is it like for you? And how do you know when they are “right”? It is absolute torture when my meds are being adjusted. I wouldn’t say I’m suicidal, I just kind of pray for a meteor to hit me or something. I feel like I always get to a point that I can tolerate life and that is when we stop adjusting the meds. It’s no way to live. I am a rapid cycler and I am either depressed or crazy high for almost three quarters of the month. I can’t take it. Doctors tell me that meds will “only do so much” and I understand there is no “cure” but shouldn’t I feel better than “not suicidal”? What am I supposed to do about how I treat my boyfriend when I’m angry? I can’t stop. The only thing I can do is try not to exist... I can’t just crawl into a hole for three weeks at a time. I feel so helpless.
 
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Earl J

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Hi Failing Heart, I have replied to you on the thread “over identifying with bipolar“.
 
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acesnof

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I've never had any point which I felt my meds were perfectly on point. I don't think I ever will either. But I think I'll be on them for life and that's fine as long as it doesn't interfere with my life. I just hope the side effects don't effect me too much. Sometimes the meds make me drowsy and tired.
 
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venusgarci

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I feel you completely. Right now my doctor changed my antidepressant and I feel like shit. I am super super drowsy and everything hurts. Like you, in the middle of a pandemic, wish a meteor hit me. I was "fine" before and also that means not being suicidal. I hope you find an equilibrium better than that, but if you don't I guess we have to work from that. I know it may not be encouraging but not wanting to die is better to build a life that is somewhat fulfilling than doing so and I know your boyfriend will be understanding. You are not yourself in the middle of changing meds. Sorry you're going through this, I wish I could be more helpful, I am here if you want to talk more.
 
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Failing Heart

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Thank you...it helps a ton just to know someone else goes through the same thing. I’ve been taking 600mg Lithium for a week now and it’s been great (I’m not drowsy, can motivate and be productive, not sad) but I have also been hypomanic big time! Still mean to my boyfriend even when he is trying to help, staying up all night, so antsy I can’t sit still, endless flow of creative ideas, wanting to start a business...you get the idea. Do you think the doctor will adjust the lithium up since I’m still HM? I absolutely know not to adjust my own meds...just looking for the experiences of others
 
calypso

calypso

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I am bipolar too and it took ages to get me on the right meds. I had to go through the whole gamut of them to find the right combination. You have only been on the lithium dose for a short while so maybe wait for it to build up in your system and see if it works. I also think that some therapy might help especially to teach you techniques to cope with this and to get ahead of it before it dominates your life. It can be managed.
 
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anonyman

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When you are having your meds adjusted, what is it like for you? And how do you know when they are “right”? It is absolute torture when my meds are being adjusted. I wouldn’t say I’m suicidal, I just kind of pray for a meteor to hit me or something. I feel like I always get to a point that I can tolerate life and that is when we stop adjusting the meds. It’s no way to live. I am a rapid cycler and I am either depressed or crazy high for almost three quarters of the month. I can’t take it. Doctors tell me that meds will “only do so much” and I understand there is no “cure” but shouldn’t I feel better than “not suicidal”? What am I supposed to do about how I treat my boyfriend when I’m angry? I can’t stop. The only thing I can do is try not to exist... I can’t just crawl into a hole for three weeks at a time. I feel so helpless.
i relate to wanting to crawl in a hole for three weeks. Days like this I’m pretty beaten down and just want to go into a coma for a while. Life is so draining. I wish I could press pause, recharge my batteries and come back when I’m ready. But lately I feel like I’m operating at 30% most days with few glimpses of light at the end of the tunnel.

but, I keep pushing. That’s my main commitment as of now.
 
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Failing Heart

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I am bipolar too and it took ages to get me on the right meds. I had to go through the whole gamut of them to find the right combination. You have only been on the lithium dose for a short while so maybe wait for it to build up in your system and see if it works. I also think that some therapy might help especially to teach you techniques to cope with this and to get ahead of it before it dominates your life. It can be managed.
Finding ways to cope is one of the hardest parts. I have been in therapy for easily six months and while it’s good for me to take that time for myself each week...I don’t feel that I’m coping any better:(
What are some of the coping techniques that have been successful for you?
 
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anonyman

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Finding ways to cope is one of the hardest parts. I have been in therapy for easily six months and while it’s good for me to take that time for myself each week...I don’t feel that I’m coping any better:(
What are some of the coping techniques that have been successful for you?
reframing works best for me
 
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Failing Heart

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I’m not familiar with the term...do you mind elaborating?
 
calypso

calypso

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I did a course of DBT which was originally created for people with Borderline but is being rolled out for people with other conditions. It taught me all kinds of techniques. Its dialectical beharvioural therapy and originated by a woman called Marsha Linehan. There is a book called DBT for bipolar too which I can't remember who wrote that but you can look it up on Amazon. I'll go and check....

 
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