- Nov 22, 2020
Hey. I wanted to ask how your first depression felt like and if there's anyone who knows how mine was and can explain the details. 2 years ago, after several years of self-hatred, in the middle of the night I woke up with a sudden feeling of emptiness and loneliness and meaningless in my chest/head. It freaked me out so much that I panicked and vomited. Since then I have been afraid of depression, although I have experienced it again, I guess. But why did I vomit the first time? Because it caused me such an extreme amount of stress? Because it completely overwhelmed me? I didn't know this feeling till then. Since the first time, I then knew this feeling and didn't completely freak out over it. Now I am in a point in life where I feel kinda better, its still hard going through each day, but I learned to accept myself. But still there is this fear of this first depression because it has sent me in years of feeling like absolut shit and horrible anxiety. I read a book from Matt Haig who experienced the very same depression, why is it that some people experience it the one and others the other way? Or was it just because I panicked?