How to trust others?

C

Confusedandanxious

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May 5, 2019
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Uk
#1
I've realised why I have such a difficult time believing that anybody might actually like me as a person. When you have been treat like crap from your parents and other family members, in such a way that I personally wouldn't treat my own worst enemy. It's hard to see how somebody unrelated might actually find you a nice person to be around.

Even when they say they like me, it's hard to believe. The family members have their nice moments. Times when I think it's all over and they're not going to be that way anymore, until they do it again and again and again. So how can I trust the niceness from others to be genuine niceness?

How do I get past the mindset that everyone has a hidden agenda and will treat me like crap too eventually?
 
Flameheart (was BPDevil)

Flameheart (was BPDevil)

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Hell
#2
you have to find balance, trusting someone 100% can be dangerous too
 
C

Confusedandanxious

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Uk
#3
you have to find balance, trusting someone 100% can be dangerous too
Yup. That's where the problem lies. I cant even bring myself to try and trust people now. When I have in the past, trusting was the wrong choice.
 
O

OCDguy

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Jun 13, 2016
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686
#4
First and foremost you have to trust yourself, then trust your instinct. Only give what you can afford to lose, test the water, and check the response. Also remember not everyone is a good judge of character, and just because you can trust one, can you also trust that person's nearest and deerest and close associates...
 
Valka

Valka

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Feb 12, 2019
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England (NW)
#5
Trusting people is quite difficult for me.
In my view you have to acknowledge that the majority of people will be selfish and end up using you, then screwing you over or ignoring you. Or at best they just sort of drift off after a while.

There are exceptions of course, but they tend to be rare. For as long as you have something to offer them anyway.
If you have the mindset that everyone you let in will be good then you'll get less and less trusting as time goes on until you eventually just don't bother with people.
 
C

Confusedandanxious

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Joined
May 5, 2019
Messages
148
Location
Uk
#7
Trusting people is quite difficult for me.
In my view you have to acknowledge that the majority of people will be selfish and end up using you, then screwing you over or ignoring you. Or at best they just sort of drift off after a while.

There are exceptions of course, but they tend to be rare. For as long as you have something to offer them anyway.
If you have the mindset that everyone you let in will be good then you'll get less and less trusting as time goes on until you eventually just don't bother with people.
I think that's what has happened. I dont let anyone in now. I find it extremely difficult. I'd like to, which is why I've posted this, but I dont know how to.
 

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