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How to tell when people are talking about you?

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Grimlock

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Joined
Apr 22, 2020
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2
Location
Chicago
I've encountered past situations where people talk about me through an intermediary, and mocked me for not picking up on what they're doing. I usually encounter it as people switching the meaning of "I" and "you," or someone using another person or thing when they mean me.

How do you pick up on passive-aggressive behavior, like this so you can call them out?
 
H

Headingtothelight

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 6, 2020
Messages
160
Location
scotland
You shouldn’t be needing to think about this :-( whoever makes you feel like that are fucking crusty dicks! Trust your gut always and look ahead for better times x hugs x
 
K

Keesha

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Joined
Apr 19, 2019
Messages
1,819
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N/A
Agree with the other poster!
People can be total jerks.
Best just ignore them or pretend you don’t notice.
The worst thing to do is act like it really bothers you cause then you are reacting and that’s exactly what they want. Focus on something else. Listen to music if you must be around people.
 
Okie Cavies

Okie Cavies

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 27, 2020
Messages
58
Location
Oklahoma
I've encountered past situations where people talk about me through an intermediary, and mocked me for not picking up on what they're doing. I usually encounter it as people switching the meaning of "I" and "you," or someone using another person or thing when they mean me.

How do you pick up on passive-aggressive behavior, like this so you can call them out?
====================

Unfortunately, grimlock, people who are passive aggressive are just about immune to being called out. They are so unable to deal with their own negative emotions that they cannot even acknowledge them. I have known one or two who are utterly unable to comprehend that their behaviors hurt others, even when told point blank. The entire point of being passive aggressive is to be able to dish out hurt while shedding responsibility onto victims or others around them.

As others have suggested, your best bet is to let it go and not respond. I would also add that you really need to be aware of your boundaries, and of your own triggers around this person. Pay special attention to not being 'reactive' around them. Just because they assign guilt - directly or indirectly - does not mean you are guilty and does not mean you have done anything wrong.

:hug:
 
S

Shay94

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 10, 2020
Messages
464
Location
Balga. Perth
I can usually tell people talk bout me with group of people coz they talk behind their hands whispering things to others but they sorta look sideways at you at same time. I usually ignore it as they tend to get bored when realizing they're not getting any reaction from what they're saying bout you. The reason they do it is coz they don't feel good bout themselves/or they truly don't have a heart/feelings and don't care whether if they hurt people's feelings. Just keep your head up high and focus on yourself, I know its hard as I worry bout this constantly myself but you learn to ignore those people more easily over time
 

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