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how to talk

A

anne1999

New member
Joined
Jan 8, 2019
Messages
1
#1
hey

i think i've been doing self-harm for two years now. i don't think i can stop yet but i think i just need someone to talk this through. how to speak with your family and friends? i'm so tired of wearing long-sleeve shirts and coming up with excuses for that. i feel guilty i haven't told my family the truth.
i don't know how to speak to my family without breaking their heart. if i try to speak to friends i feel like they try to ridicule the problem or worse, they want to try self-harm on their own. i don't think i can trust a psychatriist i'm afraid he can tell my family and this would be so hard for me and for them to here it from someone else.
maybe you have some tips i would be so grateful
love
anne
 
calypso

calypso

Well-known member
Admin
Moderator
Joined
Jan 5, 2011
Messages
39,276
Location
Lancashire
#2
hello Anne and :welcome: to the forum. I don't think a pdoc (psychiatrist) can tell anyone as it breaks confidentiality. As for friends, isn't there one who is wiser and more mature than the rest? Maybe tell one who you trust and ask them to be a sounding board. Tell them that you don't want them to "solve" the problem for you but just to listen to what happens when you feel the urge to self harm.

As for family, that is tricky. It all depends on what kind of relationship you have with them.

Self harm is addictive and its also something that works - in the short term. But in the long term it doesn't work as you have found out. Have you ever heard of Mindfulness? I am hoping that an article will soon appear on our HOme page but until then may I suggest you try to read up on it and especially techniques to use to change the way your mind operates. I can't stay on long now, but I will try to remember to come back and talk you through a technique which might help.
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 9, 2012
Messages
181
Location
Locked inside myself in the UK
#3
It's not always a good idea to tell friends and family about it. I'd stick to keeping it between the professionals and you, if I was you.

Years ago my mum found out about mine and she yelled at me for it :sorry:
 
B

backtonormal

New member
Joined
Jan 8, 2019
Messages
1
#4
I'm so sorry you've been struggling with this for so long. I would definitely find a good therapist whom you can trust. They can not tell anyone due to confidentiality. But being able to talk about it with someone would be a great place to start.
As for family, yes, it may break their hearts and I'm sure they will have a full spectrum of their own emotions that they would need to work through but depending on your relationship my hope is that they will be there to help you and encourage you along your journey to getting better.
I agree with Calypso, being able to find one close, mature friend that you can ask to be there just to listen to you would be such a huge and freeing event for you.
No matter what, I'm glad you found this forum to know that we are here together and not alone.