How to talk to someone about their addiction?

Lostinthestatic

Lostinthestatic

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 10, 2019
Messages
126
Location
New york
#1
I want to help my mother, who is addicted to heroin. She uses it due to pain from having both arms broken and never healing properly. She is also mentally ill, and has been through a lot of trauma, and initially started because both her parents died quite close in time period. So that is another factor.

Growing up I often resented her for lying to me about her addiction. She still lies and tries to hide it, but I know better.

I want to help her... I try to encourage her to go to physical therapy so that she can manage pain better in the long run but, she finds it hard to have the motivation.

I myself find it difficult to talk to her about it without getting very angry about her resistance... but I know getting angry helps nothing. It is just my reaction, I want to help her, but she needs to want to help herself as well, it just hurts so much seeing her continue along this path. I am scared for her...

I have not spoken to her openly about her addiction in years. It always caused me a lot of angry and panic... her substance abuse itself is a trigger for me.

How can I start a healthy dialogue about it? How can I make her feel safe being honest with me? How can I encourage her?

Our relationship is strained. I know she loves me, but I have resentment that i have been trying to rid myself of for 5 years. I love her I truly do. Sometimes I feel a physical aversion to being near her which... is so horrible...

What can I do, what is within my power??
 
K

Kelly B

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Joined
Feb 22, 2019
Messages
285
Location
Pasadena Md. USA
#2
That’s a tough one. Maybe you should write a letter to her telling her how you feel and how her drug use has affected you. That would spare you the confrontation while still getting your point across.
 
Lostinthestatic

Lostinthestatic

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 10, 2019
Messages
126
Location
New york
#3
That’s a tough one. Maybe you should write a letter to her telling her how you feel and how her drug use has affected you. That would spare you the confrontation while still getting your point across.
That’s sensible, it would definitely spare me a lot of grief. And I suppose it would help me get my thoughts together as well 😔
 
Lostinthestatic

Lostinthestatic

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 10, 2019
Messages
126
Location
New york
#5
Thank you Kelly B 😊 you’re very kind as always