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How to Support my Boyfriend with OCD?

K

Katie Grover

New member
Joined
Nov 24, 2020
Messages
3
Location
California
Hi guys!!! I am looking for some advice on the best way to love and support my boyfriend, who struggles with OCD. His biggest struggle right now is random thoughts flooding his head that are blasphemous against his religion, vulgar; or sexual and he doesn’t want those thoughts and it scares him. Lately he told me he has started having those thoughts whenever he is around me, so we are talking less.
whenever he is scared of his thoughts, I try to reassure him everything is okay; I love him so much, and his fears are not real, they are just thoughts. Is reassurance the best thing to do? I’m not sure. I have never had OCD or cared for someone with it before so I’m asking- people who struggle with this, what does your boyfriend/girlfriend do or say that really helps when you are struggling with thoughts? I want to support him but I’m not really sure how. Please give me all the advice you have on how to love him, he really is a smart, amazing and special guy, I’m just trying to educate myself. All advice welcome!
Thank you soooo much!!!
 
S

swillis

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 18, 2017
Messages
274
Location
UK
Does he linger on his thoughts or struggle to move on from them?
 
K

Katie Grover

New member
Joined
Nov 24, 2020
Messages
3
Location
California
Struggles to move on from them, he tries his best not to have them.
 
S

swillis

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 18, 2017
Messages
274
Location
UK
Its impossible to not have them, thats the first thing, once they are there its just dealing with them, ive just posted this, it might seem even a bit wild, but its from a qualified psychologist in the UK, so its substantiated.

 
P

periodtpoo

New member
Joined
Nov 24, 2020
Messages
3
Location
Oregon
Hi guys!!! I am looking for some advice on the best way to love and support my boyfriend, who struggles with OCD. His biggest struggle right now is random thoughts flooding his head that are blasphemous against his religion, vulgar; or sexual and he doesn’t want those thoughts and it scares him. Lately he told me he has started having those thoughts whenever he is around me, so we are talking less.
whenever he is scared of his thoughts, I try to reassure him everything is okay; I love him so much, and his fears are not real, they are just thoughts. Is reassurance the best thing to do? I’m not sure. I have never had OCD or cared for someone with it before so I’m asking- people who struggle with this, what does your boyfriend/girlfriend do or say that really helps when you are struggling with thoughts? I want to support him but I’m not really sure how. Please give me all the advice you have on how to love him, he really is a smart, amazing and special guy, I’m just trying to educate myself. All advice welcome!
Thank you soooo much!!!
Hi there! First of all I want to commend you for taking the time to do research in order to support your boyfriend. People like you are what this world needs more than anything right now. I am 20 years old and I have struggled with OCD for 9 years so far. If I could give any advice, it would be telling your boyfriend that intrusive thoughts are very, very normal. In fact, everyone has them. People with OCD just struggle to let them flow away as fast as they came. As I’m writing this I can feel the pain your boyfriend feels because I’ve been there. It’s a really hard and exhausting fight that never truly goes away. BUT there are great resources. I would recommend talking to him about seeing his primary care physician and explaining what he’s going through (it’s hard to, I know. But that’s what they are there for and they want to help!) His doctor may prescribe him with some lower dosage of what ever medication he suggests. I also suggest a good therapist. Therapy can help a lot, even if it’s just the therapist repeating “your not crazy” for the entire hour (personal experience lol). If you show this message to your boyfriend, he needs to hear that whatever thought that may come to mind, no matter how sick, twisted, or uncomfortable it may be, that IT IS OKAY. There are 7 billion people on the planet, chances are a lot of them have thought about the same thoughts too. He’s not alone. There are millions of people that share this experience. Also, just tell your boyfriend he’s strong. Because he is. OCD can be miserable, tormenting even. His strength and perseverance even in his most darkest moments are outstanding. I know I just dumped a lot of stuff on you, but I really hope this helps. And as for you, stay strong! You are fighting the good fight. Being supportive and loving unconditionally is something that truly helps. Good luck to you and your boyfriend! :)
 
K

Katie Grover

New member
Joined
Nov 24, 2020
Messages
3
Location
California
Hi there! First of all I want to commend you for taking the time to do research in order to support your boyfriend. People like you are what this world needs more than anything right now. I am 20 years old and I have struggled with OCD for 9 years so far. If I could give any advice, it would be telling your boyfriend that intrusive thoughts are very, very normal. In fact, everyone has them. People with OCD just struggle to let them flow away as fast as they came. As I’m writing this I can feel the pain your boyfriend feels because I’ve been there. It’s a really hard and exhausting fight that never truly goes away. BUT there are great resources. I would recommend talking to him about seeing his primary care physician and explaining what he’s going through (it’s hard to, I know. But that’s what they are there for and they want to help!) His doctor may prescribe him with some lower dosage of what ever medication he suggests. I also suggest a good therapist. Therapy can help a lot, even if it’s just the therapist repeating “your not crazy” for the entire hour (personal experience lol). If you show this message to your boyfriend, he needs to hear that whatever thought that may come to mind, no matter how sick, twisted, or uncomfortable it may be, that IT IS OKAY. There are 7 billion people on the planet, chances are a lot of them have thought about the same thoughts too. He’s not alone. There are millions of people that share this experience. Also, just tell your boyfriend he’s strong. Because he is. OCD can be miserable, tormenting even. His strength and perseverance even in his most darkest moments are outstanding. I know I just dumped a lot of stuff on you, but I really hope this helps. And as for you, stay strong! You are fighting the good fight. Being supportive and loving unconditionally is something that truly helps. Good luck to you and your boyfriend! :)
THANK YOU!!!!! You’re the best
 
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