G
- Joined
- Oct 8, 2018
- Messages
- 2
Hello everyone!
I am new to this forum because I'm hoping that this community can give me advise on what to do. So this is a short version of the situation : Someone I know and care about has Bipolar Disorder, he is not doing well, he has broken off our contact and to the best of my knowledge ... he doesn't really talk with family, friends or colleagues (I think he has also been going in less) - let alone about the things that are plaguing him now. However, he did go to the doctor and has a prescription (is that how you call it in English?) so that he can start with a psychologist.
How can I show support without my care being too much?
I wonder what kind of experiences you guys have with such a situation? Like, what works for you in periods when you feel bad and don't want to be in touch with others because you can't hide how much you hurt? Does it really work best to just leave you alone then, and when you feel better again ... do you prefer to reach out on your own? Or did you feel supported if someone would maybe sent you an easy text once in a while? Or just have someone ask you how you are feeling?
He and I haven't known each other for very long at all. But in a short period we did spend quite some time together and we seemed to really connect emotionally & mentally & physically. He had already said early on that he has BD and that he was kind of in a rough patch, also due to some big events in his life in the past years - definitely not all of them good. While we were dating, he came to realize that his BD was worse now than he thought at first. He also became more determined to prioritize his well being. And he realized that our intense contact was too much to keep up.
I also want to note that ... I get the impression that he doesn't want to share his deeper, darker, sadder emotions and tries to suppress how he feels - unless he feels happy. Ofcourse I love seeing him happy, but I am really here to also know his heavier thoughts & emotions. I have never been romantically involved with someone with BD. But one of my best friends for over 10 years has BD and I realize now that her friendship & openness has taught me a lot about BD and about loving a person for all of them - not just the easy parts.
So he's going to focus on himself, on his treatment and on stabilizing. We agreed to not be in touch for a while and that I can later reach out again. He will then try to estimate if we can be in touch through texts, but I expect that we won't be seeing each other for a while.
Because he and I haven't known each other for that long, this is the first time we're dealing with this. I don't know how I can reach out to him in a way that really seriously abides by what his mind can deal with right now.
That being said, I really care about him, I hate knowing that he hurts so much, and I miss him. But my need to let him know that I care ... is also influenced by the thought that he feels so lonely and that he is keeping other people at bay as well.
Also, I have never met those other people, so I can't ask their advice about previous times when he felt like this. And obviously, I can't ask him.
Wow, my story around these questions became a lot longer than I planned!
Anyway, thank you for your responses, I'm looking forward to learning from you!
Love, Gemsy
I am new to this forum because I'm hoping that this community can give me advise on what to do. So this is a short version of the situation : Someone I know and care about has Bipolar Disorder, he is not doing well, he has broken off our contact and to the best of my knowledge ... he doesn't really talk with family, friends or colleagues (I think he has also been going in less) - let alone about the things that are plaguing him now. However, he did go to the doctor and has a prescription (is that how you call it in English?) so that he can start with a psychologist.
How can I show support without my care being too much?
I wonder what kind of experiences you guys have with such a situation? Like, what works for you in periods when you feel bad and don't want to be in touch with others because you can't hide how much you hurt? Does it really work best to just leave you alone then, and when you feel better again ... do you prefer to reach out on your own? Or did you feel supported if someone would maybe sent you an easy text once in a while? Or just have someone ask you how you are feeling?
He and I haven't known each other for very long at all. But in a short period we did spend quite some time together and we seemed to really connect emotionally & mentally & physically. He had already said early on that he has BD and that he was kind of in a rough patch, also due to some big events in his life in the past years - definitely not all of them good. While we were dating, he came to realize that his BD was worse now than he thought at first. He also became more determined to prioritize his well being. And he realized that our intense contact was too much to keep up.
I also want to note that ... I get the impression that he doesn't want to share his deeper, darker, sadder emotions and tries to suppress how he feels - unless he feels happy. Ofcourse I love seeing him happy, but I am really here to also know his heavier thoughts & emotions. I have never been romantically involved with someone with BD. But one of my best friends for over 10 years has BD and I realize now that her friendship & openness has taught me a lot about BD and about loving a person for all of them - not just the easy parts.
So he's going to focus on himself, on his treatment and on stabilizing. We agreed to not be in touch for a while and that I can later reach out again. He will then try to estimate if we can be in touch through texts, but I expect that we won't be seeing each other for a while.
Because he and I haven't known each other for that long, this is the first time we're dealing with this. I don't know how I can reach out to him in a way that really seriously abides by what his mind can deal with right now.
That being said, I really care about him, I hate knowing that he hurts so much, and I miss him. But my need to let him know that I care ... is also influenced by the thought that he feels so lonely and that he is keeping other people at bay as well.
Also, I have never met those other people, so I can't ask their advice about previous times when he felt like this. And obviously, I can't ask him.
Wow, my story around these questions became a lot longer than I planned!
Anyway, thank you for your responses, I'm looking forward to learning from you!
Love, Gemsy
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