• Welcome! It’s great to see you. Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

How to stop thinking of suicide.

J

Jake88

New member
Joined
Feb 5, 2015
Messages
2
Cutting the crap. I don't want you to tell me I have so much to live for, or that things will get better. Or that I am strong. I see that everywhere and the facts just came in. You don't know me and you never will so please don't pretend like you do.

I find myself watching suicide videos, reading up on suicide, educating myself on correct ways to do it. I'd rather die then nearly die I'm sure we can all agree on that.

I'm not your typical person. I had a great family and up brining and I still do. My family was rather fortunate and I have been described as handsome, smart, and has "potential" by psychologists.

And yet sleeping meds anxiety meds, and mood stabilisers aren't working.

I've been riding this God damn train for 5 years. And yet I'm still on the doll watching daytime TV with my grandma every day. Dreading any commitment. And waking up for the next day.

Apparently this is treatable, allot of evidence suggests it. But that boat has sailed. I don't want to do this anymore and the only way to get better is to work hard exercise, and eat well. I'm too tired for that.

For what reason would I be watching those sorts of videos. I'm becoming less and less scared, rather. I am rather warming up to the idea of doing it. Will my parents forgive me? Who knows. I sure won't, I'll be dead.

I'm sure everyone has heard all the success stories of people overcoming mental illness. Well good on em'.

I don't know if this is a cry for help. Or what. But sometimes people don't get better sometimes you just have to "live" with it.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
J

Jake88

New member
Joined
Feb 5, 2015
Messages
2
Hello Nikita l, thanks for your reply. But unfortunately I do met have the same beliefs as you (no judgnent). I believe once we die we are dead and those things are designed only to make us feel better about life.

I have tried exercising at one stage I was exercising for 2 weeks. Running every other day. Unfortunately I didn't seem to reap the benefits. I still felt depressed and lifeless.

I have called down a skittle but since then but I can't seem to sleep. No I'm not badly overweight but I could be in much better shape..
 
C

Christobel

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 6, 2014
Messages
1,075
Location
South west
Dear jake88. First of all, however many suicide sites you look at - and I've looked at a good few - thankfully it is quite hard to kill yourself. I have been there, got over it, and finally found the right medication. Sometimes you just have to be patient and try to live your life as best you can. There is always hope.
 
M

mooncat

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 7, 2015
Messages
354
Jake.
I think its more of what we call on here a rant.Which is fine.In fact it can really help calm intrusive thoughts down.
Maybe jake just wanted to get it out.
Jake we can only try and help you if you want it.
Theres not much we can do if you dont want that.
I get what i call intrusive thoughts everyday.For me i try to be doing something to try and distract me from that kinda stuff.
Feel free to "Rant" away.
I hope the forum can help support you through this crap time your having.
Im not a dr. just Someone whos been having simular shit that your having.
Creating a journals also a good way to help get shit out.
Mooncat..
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Gajolene

Gajolene

Well-known member
Joined
May 30, 2012
Messages
7,826
Location
small town Ontario, Canada
For me I focused on my children for the longest time to keep me from acting on suicidal thoughts. I also would talk to a very good friend and visit often, who's mother had committed suicide, and seeing the effects her decision had on him and his family. That would reinforce me against it as well. I went on meds and admitted myself into psych rather than attempt as well and a few occasions. I've also been in counselling and therapy on and off over the years. I try to identify when obsessive thoughts and willpower have gotten out of my control and seek earlier intervention now rather than trying to shoulder all the burden without telling people whats going on and leaving myself in suffering. I also cut family and harmfull people out of my life who were toxic to my state of mental health. Have relocated several times as well over many years for both safety and security and for a fresh start in life.
 
W

wannabegooroo

Guest
its the fear or anxiety of the "suicidal thoughts" that is driving them, so you get anxious about having them, you anticipate them, you become focused on them, and you try to control them, the issue isn't the idealogy but when you feel like acting on them, which you seek professional help for. If you no longer 'fear" the certain thoughts, they will go back into the ether, until you become excessively stressed/anxious again. If you shame yourself for having these thoughts it aggravates your attempts to control. There is no shame about having those thoughts, and it's natural, you aren't weak for having them. If they became an issue seek help professional not on chat forums.
 
R

rosebetween2thorns

Guest
why kill yourself when you are gonna die anyway. You have a prognose of something terminal then you Will wonder why you want to kill yourself in the first place.

just dont do it thats all and tomorrow Will be some hope for yea. Grandma would not recover. Now aint that well enough to not try too hard for she loves you as you are and dont mind you being there. So love her instead and dont be selfish and not consider other people.
 
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
C Self Harm Forum 3
S Self Harm Forum 5
M Self Harm Forum 12
Q Self Harm Forum 4
TheSadnessWillLastForever Self Harm Forum 2
Top