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How to start a relation?

jackshepard

jackshepard

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 12, 2008
Messages
240
Location
Paris suburbs, France
Hi.
it can seem weird as a question, but I'll be 21 on thursday and still waiting for my 1st relationship/kiss/love,etc. I'm always complaining to my relatives, on this forum and others on the internet, that I can't find a girlfriend. The real problem is, I don't even know how to meet one or how to bring a girl I know to hang out with me. I'm also always feeling uninteresting, only talking about science, computers, TV..., I don't even know how to do simple things like riding a bike, etc. I'm always feeling like stressed, and so I'm always speedywhile talking, moving, etc.

If someone has good advices like I already had on other life issues.

Thanks in advance.
 
Lozzi_1004

Lozzi_1004

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 28, 2008
Messages
1,850
Location
Yorkshire, UK
As corny as it may sound, being yourself is the best thing to do. So you talk about computers, science etc it shouldn't matter, once you feel comfortable enough with a girl the conversation should flow :). If you like a girl just ask her to the cinema/bowling etc and see how it goes.

Sorry if that sounds like drivel. It's not a big thing that you haven't had a relationship yet, you just haven't found the right person, but I'm sure she'll be out there somewhere!
 
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darkorchid30

Active member
Joined
Feb 2, 2009
Messages
26
Your time will come Jack :)

Hugs

Orchidxxx
 
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itchybits

New member
Joined
Feb 18, 2009
Messages
4
Location
Bucks
Hi Jack

Im afraid im not the best person to give advise on relationships. As i am still trying to descover if the is such a thing as love.
I think you should concentrae on making your self happy first. You do have to be a bit selfish as you have the right and deserve to be happy.
There are many things you can do, when walking down the street just say hello to any lady you pass. This will biuld up your confidence. You may not always get a posative feed back but you can be happy with the achiement of doing this exercise. You can also try some dating sites just to get used to interacting with women. Don`t tell them your bad pionts, biuld up a repore with them. Find out what they like, you might find that you have things in common. Once you have got thier interest, you can start telling them about your bad pionts. Because once thay have an interest in you, you will find that they will see past any bad pionts and just except them as know one is perfect.
I hope you can make some sense of this and i hope it will put things into prespective for you. I hope this helps, Jim
 
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Dollit

Guest
I have never had much luck with relationships for one reason or another. The one that actually worked was built upon years of friendship. We knew each other so well, it was a slow grow but well worth it.
 
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saffron

Guest
I think that is a good point Dollit, so many people feel they need to be with someone whatever the relationship may take them but all the best ones start with a frienship first, that develops, that you get to know each other properly, truthfully and happily.
that will come with patience and talking to people who have the same or similar interests.
but it takes time and 21 is still very young and there are so many things you can experience for youself first, you can even meet people doing stufff you like.
think sometimes people can focus so much on why that they forget to focus on the here and now. if that makes sense.
Jack you will know when the right one comes along
your OK
S
 
jackshepard

jackshepard

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 12, 2008
Messages
240
Location
Paris suburbs, France
Thanks for all your answers.
I just invited an old friend from my 2004 holiday camp in North America to spend some time together (thank you social networks!). The funny thing is that it'll be the 1st time we'll see each other in our own country. I don't really know what to do/where to go. Well, for now I see her as a friend, and I'll see what happens.

There's another thing: one of my friends keep telling me the girl I'm in love "with" is one of my best friends, and so I am to her (well, that's what she says about us), which means she has feeling for me anyway. Personnally, I really don't think so, and I'm trying to turn the page, tryin' not to spoil my 2nd semester as it did on the 1st.
 
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Dollit

Guest
Do you and the friend you worked with in North America have any common interests? For instance I'll do just about anything to spend time with someone but go to a fairground as the rides make me sick. Also if you want to talk to each other then avoid the cinema to begin with.
 
jackshepard

jackshepard

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Joined
Nov 12, 2008
Messages
240
Location
Paris suburbs, France
We didn't work together, we were 16 in 2004. We just liked to spend time together then. I don't think I know her enough to be able to tell if we have common interests. Well, we'll see!
 
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saffron

Guest
thats great Jck, have fun and take one step ata time.
Best wishes
S
 
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Trish

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 4, 2009
Messages
52
One idea is to join clubs as if you are not meeting girls then you wont be able to ask one on a date, photography or computor night school is just two types of clubs ! There are many to choose from.
 
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schizolanza

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Sep 22, 2008
Messages
3,160
My advice would be to learn to love yourself.How can you love someone else if you can't love yourself? Don't put yourself down but learn to be happy with who you are.Women love that.
 
invise

invise

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Joined
Dec 11, 2008
Messages
192
Location
Aberdeen
Im definatly no expert on love or relationships, but Ive had a few girlfriends. We always see on tv and stuff people asking each other out on the mythical and daunting "date". Ive never ever met a girl this way. It's weird, all of the girls ive ended up "dating" just started out with a friendly conversation from nowhere. We didnt arrange to meet each other, and neither of us made a move for the other. We just start talking from some social situation, like at a club as Trish said. Then talking turns to flirting and so on. The hardest part is figuring out the difference between a girl flirting with you, and just being bubbly and friendly! Anyway, I guess the point is I've activly looked for love before, but never ever found it this way. It just happens. So put yourself in situations where you get to talk to people (I know its hard) and dont think about meeting girls, just thing about trying to enjoy peoples company.
 
scottsblue

scottsblue

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Founding Member
Joined
Apr 20, 2008
Messages
1,902
Location
England
if i was you i wouldnt mention always being single to anyone, let alone not kissed anyone or had any love relations.
if your looking on the internet it kind of works itself out over time, you`ll learn not to say certain things. its kinda like hacking becuase you have to try so many different combinations, after the 1st if you dont go mad over rejection its easy.:D

i think internet lovers are all in love with the very 1st internet users, like its all been passed down.:)
 
jackshepard

jackshepard

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 12, 2008
Messages
240
Location
Paris suburbs, France
It may sound stupid, but I just figured that out. Hopefully, I never told her. I'm just so locked up on myself that when I talk about me, I use to talk a bit too much.

@invise: Friendship is just how I try to start, but I have this year's experience with that girl from my class that I loved for more than a year without even realising it, and I think it scared me.
 
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