How to make sure I'm safe if I'm not able to decide.

C

Causeway

Member
Joined
Jun 25, 2018
Messages
11
#1
I've been really concerned recently that I don't seem to be in control of my actions sometimes. This is something I'm addressing as best I can but it''s still frightening me. I feel as though ideas are coming from elsewhere and I don't have any control in acting on them.

Another issue is that I suffer badly from paranoia - usually if I can have some clarity this can be addressed.

Currently, I'm worried that either I will no longer be able to make decisions about my own care or (worse) that it will be decided that I can't.
I've spoken to the GP and Crisis team I see and asked if this happens (or similar) that decisions about my care are to go to my partner rather to any of my relatives - as I don't see them and we don't have a good relationship.

Will this be enough? I'm about to move in with my partner and have talked through with them what I would like if the worst happens. I trust them to make the best decision for me.

What I don't want is my mother to be contacted - she's still in touch with my former abuser because she believes he was "trying to help" me. I'm worried she might make decisions I wouldn't be happy with because she's "family" (despite not having seen her for years) rather than my partner who regularly cares for me.

I've been with my partner a couple of years now but not married/civ. partnership yet and don't want to suggest this while I'm so ill because it would feel like I'm forcing them because of my health rather than because they're the right person and we both want to.

Is there a way to formally give my partner advocacy if I become unable to make decisions about my health or treatment? I'd prefer to have something in place for my own piece of mind rather than hope it never gets that bad.
 
N

nightmare57

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 12, 2016
Messages
532
#2
I suppose my mother is my next of kin but Nottinghamshire health care have always respected my decision not to inform her of my mental health status or anything about sectioning. They have always respected that decision and when I lacked capacity (quite a few times) they didn't contact her. I think that is the case with all services. If you have capacity and make the decision before you lack capacity they will implament it.
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

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Jan 4, 2013
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8,088
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England
#3
Hi,
There is a scheme that you can state your wishes before you lack capacity, sorry can't think what it is called.
Tell your local mental health trust that you want your wishes to be included in like a directive. So if you lack capacity they know what to do.
Good luck and hope you feel better soon.
Take care
 
Guy12182

Guy12182

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Joined
Jun 23, 2018
Messages
142
Location
Upstate NY
#4
I believe Mayflower7 , what your thinking about is "Power Of Attorney". This person is turned over power to make decisions for the other,also dealing with mentally incompetent if found so or otherwise unable to make decisions on their own.

Hope this helps
G~
 
C

Causeway

Member
Joined
Jun 25, 2018
Messages
11
#5
Thanks - that's really helpful! Will look into arranging that!
 
Cazcat

Cazcat

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Sep 12, 2013
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2,403
#7
Rethink has some useful info on the law regarding who is your "Nearest Relative" If you have lived with your partner for more than 6 months I think it automatically becomes them. Currently you can not choose your nearest relative under the mental health act, the proposed reforms are looking at changing this. The current law still needs your consent for them to give more than basic info even to your nearest relative. Make it clear to your mental health team what your wishes are regarding who they speak to or don't speak to. When you are well ask your mental health team to help you write an "Advanced Statement of Wishes" that will set out what you want to happen if you are in a situation in the future where you are too unwell to make those decisions.
 
W

winofunk

Guest
#8
Causeway, you can use an 'advance statement' to formalise what you would like to happen in the event of you lacking capacity to make decisions for yourself.

Many assume that it is only for terminally ill patients because it is more commonly used for people making plans for their treatment before they pass away. However, it can be used for patients with mental health issues.

More details can be found on the Rethink website at - https://www.rethink.org/living-with-mental-illness/rights-restrictions/planning-your-care-advance-statements