
mini
Active member
Hi
I am not sure what it is about me that is messing up my life - but I need to know how you ask for proper help. I am a horrible mixture of feeling really positive about everything, being able to overcome every problem I encounter and feeling like I am friends with the entire planet - to a really normal day-to-day mood where I just get on with life, and then below that there's the moods I get where everything is just bleak. I mean, really bleak - I end up sitting at home crying for two or three days and life really doesn't seem worth the effort anymore - it's like my brain conspires against me and dumps every negative thought it can on an already black mood....and it's hard to explain just how alone I feel, utterly futile life seems - and it's getting quite self-destructive and freaking me out - because I feel like I have three me's. If I feel like that I still try to go to work and pretend I'm ok - but then I get a double-whammy of the depressed feeling because I've had to really struggle to seem ok and then when I'm alone again it's twice as bad as before.
I'm sorry this is a long post but I have run out of ppl to talk to about this - even one of my closest friends who explained to me how his bipolar affects him - but then I thought it would be unfair to metaphorically vomit all this confusion on him too so I didn't....but it sounds similar...I feel like my own mind is sabotaging me - and this has been going on since I was about 14 - I'm 25 in a coupla days and have reached breaking point because it's got so bad of late. Somethings going to give - I just want to know if this is something I should seek help with - and basically how to go about it - cause deep down I'm scared any one professional i talk to will tell me to stop being silly. Sorry this is such a long thread. thanks for reading
I am not sure what it is about me that is messing up my life - but I need to know how you ask for proper help. I am a horrible mixture of feeling really positive about everything, being able to overcome every problem I encounter and feeling like I am friends with the entire planet - to a really normal day-to-day mood where I just get on with life, and then below that there's the moods I get where everything is just bleak. I mean, really bleak - I end up sitting at home crying for two or three days and life really doesn't seem worth the effort anymore - it's like my brain conspires against me and dumps every negative thought it can on an already black mood....and it's hard to explain just how alone I feel, utterly futile life seems - and it's getting quite self-destructive and freaking me out - because I feel like I have three me's. If I feel like that I still try to go to work and pretend I'm ok - but then I get a double-whammy of the depressed feeling because I've had to really struggle to seem ok and then when I'm alone again it's twice as bad as before.
I'm sorry this is a long post but I have run out of ppl to talk to about this - even one of my closest friends who explained to me how his bipolar affects him - but then I thought it would be unfair to metaphorically vomit all this confusion on him too so I didn't....but it sounds similar...I feel like my own mind is sabotaging me - and this has been going on since I was about 14 - I'm 25 in a coupla days and have reached breaking point because it's got so bad of late. Somethings going to give - I just want to know if this is something I should seek help with - and basically how to go about it - cause deep down I'm scared any one professional i talk to will tell me to stop being silly. Sorry this is such a long thread. thanks for reading