How to keep long lasting friendships with BPD

BPDevil

BPDevil

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Nov 7, 2018
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Hell
#1
I've been in and out of friendship groups, gone through a number of 'best' and close friends, just to end up alone over and over and over again

Every friendship starts out great, then as soon as I get too comfortable and start opening up, my BPD starts to show, I get easily triggered and paranoid about them abandoning me or not liking me anymore, end up taking it out on them, then they get fed up and my nightmares become a reality

It's a constant cycle, and it's like I've accepted that I shouldn't have any close or meaningful friendships

Few did know and try to understand my issues, but I don't want to use it as an excuse

I'd be lucky to have a friendship that lasts over a year nowadays

Just so tired of even trying
 
Valka

Valka

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Feb 12, 2019
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England (NW)
#2
Hi BPD.

Unfortunately I know what you mean, people tend not to understand and help fix friendships these days. It always seems people just jump ship when they might have to put in some effort.
Fair weather friends as they're known.

But we're all here if you need a friend to talk to, I've only been here a few days myself and have spoke to many great people on a daily basis.
 
Urban Hermit

Urban Hermit

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#4
jimmorrison1.jpg Hopefully a real friend will stick by you through it all xx
 
daffy

daffy

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#5
I agree BPD it is very difficult to keep friends when you have MH probs. Whenever I’ve plucked up courage to say something they look at me like I’m a mad hatchet woman. I only have three good friends, one is a lifelong friend of almost 50 years who know of my troubles. The other two I’ve met thru hospital and they have MH problems themselves so I can be open with them and they can tell me when they are having a bad time which I think is needed in a friendship . In fact I’m going on holiday with one of those friends later this year. MH still has a terrible stigma to it and is not treated like any other illness and that should be changed.
 
BPDevil

BPDevil

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#6
I agree BPD it is very difficult to keep friends when you have MH probs. Whenever I’ve plucked up courage to say something they look at me like I’m a mad hatchet woman. I only have three good friends, one is a lifelong friend of almost 50 years who know of my troubles. The other two I’ve met thru hospital and they have MH problems themselves so I can be open with them and they can tell me when they are having a bad time which I think is needed in a friendship . In fact I’m going on holiday with one of those friends later this year. MH still has a terrible stigma to it and is not treated like any other illness and that should be changed.
I have tried, my friendship group from college which was my last, some had similar problems, one claimed to also have BPD, but they ended up pushing me away. Would make plans purposely not inviting me, then when I bring it up they act as if I'm the one in the wrong and saying I was just making false assumptions, well I ended up being right all along. They all say I'm a toxic person now and I can't go back to college because of them
 
daffy

daffy

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#7
Have you thought about contacting Rethink they have groups all over where you can meet and chat to likeminded people. We have a very good one where I live called Inkwell which does all sorts of arts and crafts. Maybe talk to your CPN to see if there’s anything in your area.:hug: