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How to help someone who has tried to commit suicide (two times)

K

Kobe

Member
Joined
Oct 12, 2020
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9
Location
Melbourne, Australia
Hi guys,

Long story short:

My partner tried to commit suicide about two months ago and was on the way to recovery until I found out from her brother-in-law that she just tried it again and he has taken her to hospital.

What are the things I can do/say to her to help her? I feel like I have done everything possible to help her the first time around, but I guess it just wasn't enough. The first time the hospital discharged her and they said she was fine. I really hope the hospital gives her the treatment and support she needs because clearly nothing is working.

If someone can give advice on anything similar to this situation it would be greatly appreciated, thank you.
 
daffy

daffy

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Hi there Kobi and welcome to the forum. Does your girlfriend have mental health issues and does she have a MH team that you can contact. That should be your first point of call. Please dont criticise her as that wont help her but let her know that she can talk to you about anything. Two attempts in such a short time shows that she is clearly suffering an awful lot. You need to insist that she sees a psychiatrist for a full evaluation. I do hope she can get the help she so desperately needs.

Ive been looking for helplines in Australia and have come up with one link that gives lots of numbers hopefully there will be something there that you can contact.
 
D

DD040894

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Joined
Apr 30, 2015
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967
I hope that I am wrong, but seeing that they said she was fine, and she tried suicide like a month after.. that tells me that hospital is like many hospitals around the globe(give them high dose of antidepressant, antipsychotic, make them sleep 15 hours a day and let them live like that).
Obviously won't work.
I don't know what are your abilities with her. I have friend who tried to commit suicide few times. What I can do is call her when she is not good and tell her just to go out and we talk about her feelings, she doesn't have to pretend in front of me at all, she usually gets better just because of sharing feelings and not pretending.I won't ask her some deep questions, I am not mental care professional, but sharing feelings can be seen as a supportive therapy.
You can read some books about her problem to have better insight.

And definitely, you can search for best therapist in your place, and she needs to start psychotherapy.It will be hard, but you can be support for her especially until she starts to believe in therapist.
Hope somewhat helps you.
Best regards!
 
K

Kobe

Member
Joined
Oct 12, 2020
Messages
9
Location
Melbourne, Australia
Hi there Kobi and welcome to the forum. Does your girlfriend have mental health issues and does she have a MH team that you can contact. That should be your first point of call. Please dont criticise her as that wont help her but let her know that she can talk to you about anything. Two attempts in such a short time shows that she is clearly suffering an awful lot. You need to insist that she sees a psychiatrist for a full evaluation. I do hope she can get the help she so desperately needs.

Ive been looking for helplines in Australia and have come up with one link that gives lots of numbers hopefully there will be something there that you can contact.
Hi Daffy,

She has Bipolar and is going through a depressive phase which was triggered by a combination of her work situation, financial stress and covid lockdowns. She is on leave now until the end of this year so work is no longer a factor and here in Melbourne we are no longer in lockdown.

She hasn't said it directly to me, but the impression I'm getting is that she just doesn't want to live anymore. She basically just feels like she has no motivation to do anything anymore - including getting out of bed in the morning. Her sister and her psychiatrist has told her to get up early in the morning and go for walks but she's only doing it because she's being forced to but it doesn't seem to be helping in anyway.

I will be visiting her in hospital tomorrow and hopefully can talk to someone about this. I'll also try and call some of the helplines you've directed me to. Thank you for your help Daffy.
 
K

Kobe

Member
Joined
Oct 12, 2020
Messages
9
Location
Melbourne, Australia
I hope that I am wrong, but seeing that they said she was fine, and she tried suicide like a month after.. that tells me that hospital is like many hospitals around the globe(give them high dose of antidepressant, antipsychotic, make them sleep 15 hours a day and let them live like that).
Obviously won't work.
Hi DD040894,

They actually didn't put her on any antidepressants at all, due to her being Bipolar, they feared it would trigger a Mania episode. I guess that's not an ideal situation, but Mania might be the lesser of two evils? I don't know, I'm just totally lost in all of this.

I think it's possible they have her on the wrong meds to treat her bipolar, but what she really needs is treatment for depression. She obviously must be hurting a lot right now, but I can't for the life of me figure out what. I've tried my best to avoid the whole "C'mon, things aren't that bad" comment as I know that just makes things worse, but I have suggested for her to get back on her horse which might have exacerbated things.

I'll see what happens tomorrow when I try to get more information but at the moment I just feel so worried and completely hopeless.
 
daffy

daffy

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Founding Member
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hiding behind the sofa
Is there any way that she could get help with her problems.
Obviously nothing can be done about the COVID situation. But has she been in touch with anyone about her financial situation. I dont know how bad it is but there are places that can offer free advice. The worse thing that you can do when you have financial worries is to ignore them. Could she work out some kind of payment plan
With regards to work, that obviously depends on the problem. Is it something that her HR department could help her with or is it something more personal to her. I know what its like being in a job you dislike but needing to do it for the money
Just talk to her about these things and hopefully shell start to open up. It may be something when you talk it through that its not quite as bad as she thinks

 
K

Kobe

Member
Joined
Oct 12, 2020
Messages
9
Location
Melbourne, Australia
Is there any way that she could get help with her problems.
Obviously nothing can be done about the COVID situation. But has she been in touch with anyone about her financial situation. I dont know how bad it is but there are places that can offer free advice. The worse thing that you can do when you have financial worries is to ignore them. Could she work out some kind of payment plan
With regards to work, that obviously depends on the problem. Is it something that her HR department could help her with or is it something more personal to her. I know what its like being in a job you dislike but needing to do it for the money
Just talk to her about these things and hopefully shell start to open up. It may be something when you talk it through that its not quite as bad as she thinks

Her work situation is pretty much sorted, as her manager has agreed for her to take leave until the start of next year and is willing to discuss her taking on less stressful duties and reducing her hours. As for her financial situation, she has talked to a financial advisor who has helped her a great deal but ultimately can't fix the issue for her as she got herself locked in to a contract during a manic episode. I think this is probably her biggest point of stress, but she has also said that even if she won the lottery she would still feel like this...

The strangest thing in all of this is that she appeared to be on the road to recovery (looked and sounded better), as she was just putting on a brave face so we wouldn't worry about her, but apparently things have not improved at all, as she told me today she has considered suicide several times throughout the past two months.
 
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