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How to handle the feeling of lost time

A

anodyne

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Joined
May 27, 2021
Messages
14
Location
United States
Hi all, I've been really depressed recently with the direction my life has taken these past few years. At the beginning of 2020, i had just turned 23, graduated with a BA in English, was living with roommates, and got an office job doing document review which i considered to be a temporary position. Not even 3 months later, Covid hit, i got laid off, lost the lease on my apartment, had a falling out with the few friends id made in college and moved back home to sleep on the couch in my mom's apartment. It's been a year and a half since then, and i am still living at home, only now ive had endless months of unemployment, was fired from one job after only three months, and feel even more hopeless and pathetic than i did before. In my current job, a 21 yo i work with talked about going on a date with a 24 yo, and how he was nice but "really old." Hearing this i got self-conscious about all the time ive let slip by in my own life with nothing to show for it.
No aspect of my life is satisfying right now, and my most common activity in my off time is sleeping and imagining the kind of person i could have been if id done something different when i was younger or was born in different circumstances. This line of thinking hurts me more because it makes all my regrets feel more real, wastes more of my life away, and just makes me more depressed. I dont't know how to fix everything that is wrong in my life
 
Hello513

Hello513

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Joined
Jan 24, 2018
Messages
3,012
Location
My billion dollar high tech malibu mansion
Hi all, I've been really depressed recently with the direction my life has taken these past few years. At the beginning of 2020, i had just turned 23, graduated with a BA in English, was living with roommates, and got an office job doing document review which i considered to be a temporary position. Not even 3 months later, Covid hit, i got laid off, lost the lease on my apartment, had a falling out with the few friends id made in college and moved back home to sleep on the couch in my mom's apartment. It's been a year and a half since then, and i am still living at home, only now ive had endless months of unemployment, was fired from one job after only three months, and feel even more hopeless and pathetic than i did before. In my current job, a 21 yo i work with talked about going on a date with a 24 yo, and how he was nice but "really old." Hearing this i got self-conscious about all the time ive let slip by in my own life with nothing to show for it.
No aspect of my life is satisfying right now, and my most common activity in my off time is sleeping and imagining the kind of person i could have been if id done something different when i was younger or was born in different circumstances. This line of thinking hurts me more because it makes all my regrets feel more real, wastes more of my life away, and just makes me more depressed. I dont't know how to fix everything that is wrong in my life
You are still in your twenties they expect us to work to at least 65 now a days that gives you what 40+ years to get your act together. Go easy on yourself
 
C

charlieblack5

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 14, 2021
Messages
129
Location
Uk
I’d second that. You’re still so young. After Uni I got a rubbish job in a supermarket cafe, followed by another rubbish job, followed by another. I was then on benefits for a while. Living at home. It was tough. I’m obviously not in a great place now, otherwise I wouldn’t be here, but that was 8-9 years ago and we now have a deposit for a house, I have a wonderful partner, I have a decent job which I’d love even more if I wasn’t feeling so low. Things change. Things happen. Not always good, but nothing is forever. Keep looking for jobs. Keep trying. It’s tough, but you can do it.
 
A

anodyne

Member
Joined
May 27, 2021
Messages
14
Location
United States
I’d second that. You’re still so young. After Uni I got a rubbish job in a supermarket cafe, followed by another rubbish job, followed by another. I was then on benefits for a while. Living at home. It was tough. I’m obviously not in a great place now, otherwise I wouldn’t be here, but that was 8-9 years ago and we now have a deposit for a house, I have a wonderful partner, I have a decent job which I’d love even more if I wasn’t feeling so low. Things change. Things happen. Not always good, but nothing is forever. Keep looking for jobs. Keep trying. It’s tough, but you can do it.
Thank you for providing your own experience here, it does help to put some things in perspective. The time since ive graduated has felt like such a stagnant period for me, just repeating the same cycles of looking for work/experience/places to live. It feels like basically nothing has happened over the past year and it passed so quickly. In any case, without knowing your exact circumstances, i hope things work out for both of us and i can look back at this period of my life in a similar way to you.
 
Muddledmuggle

Muddledmuggle

Member
Joined
Jun 5, 2021
Messages
24
Location
India
I also 24 preparing for post graduation entrance exams st at my parents house and I am having the exact same thought process these days, regretting past mistakes and how I didn’t work up to my potential and what I might’ve achieved had I put in more effort and fore thought into my actions.
but then as these two kind souls just said, maybe we do have ample time left still to sort ourselves out.
i hope it gets better for us, please know that you aren’t alone in feeling this way.
 
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