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How to feel safe at home?

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Charliedragonfly

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Jun 8, 2019
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106
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England
Hi, my parent's house is full of really horrible memories from my childhood that leave me feeling like it's unsafe to stay here and like I'm going to be hurt. There is currently no way to move out because it would cause me to really struggle financially no matter what help I could get. I'm looking for advice on how to feel safe at home? I have this constant anxiety that has even caused me to try to run away. I know I'm not in danger but my brain doesn't. Is there anything I could do or tell myself to lessen these feelings of being trapped, threatened and vulnerable? Thank you
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

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Hi,
I'm sorry this happened to you, have you had any therapy or meds?
Take care
 
C

Charliedragonfly

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Jun 8, 2019
Messages
106
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England
Hi,
I'm sorry this happened to you, have you had any therapy or meds?
Take care
Hi, yes I've just started therapy and I've expressed that I'm open to the idea of meds. We haven't covered this topic yet because I don't feel ready to talk about it with her.
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

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Hi,
It's good your having therapy, I still sleep with my light on at night it helps me feel more secure.
Hope your recovery goes well for you.
Hugs
 
Acorn

Acorn

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Jan 11, 2020
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I sleep with my light on too. I also have a comfort object that I sleep with and I play soft calming music to stop me being hyper aware and alert to sounds.

Grounding objects also help me remember that I’m safe. Things like curling up in a soft blanket, smelling lavender, anything really that wasn’t there during the abuse to reconnect with the here and now
 
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Charliedragonfly

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Jun 8, 2019
Messages
106
Location
England
Thank you all. I currently have some of my boyfriend's items to sleep with, which really helps me feel safer. I used to sleep with a nightlight but I've weened myself off of that because it interferes with my quality of sleep (which is still awful because I have recurring bad dreams... last night I woke up 3 times). I use lots of diffusers to help calm me down as well. Maybe I should experiment with using lava lamps or something.
 
daffy

daffy

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hiding behind the sofa
I have a sleep app that i use , its the sound of rain and it does help relax you
 
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Charliedragonfly

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Jun 8, 2019
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106
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England
I have a sleep app that i use , its the sound of rain and it does help relax you
I have an alarm clock that does the same thing :) Thank you aha
 
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TerryClause

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Dec 28, 2020
Messages
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Canada
I've had similar feelings to you. Were you bullied by people near your house?

It's important to remember you have grown as a person. Athough you went through some really hard stuff, at least now you know that you can live through it and you're still able to do things. It's really hard, but do your best to appreciate the good things you have now, in the moment.
 
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Charliedragonfly

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Jun 8, 2019
Messages
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England
I've had similar feelings to you. Were you bullied by people near your house?

It's important to remember you have grown as a person. Athough you went through some really hard stuff, at least now you know that you can live through it and you're still able to do things. It's really hard, but do your best to appreciate the good things you have now, in the moment.
Hi, it’s been a while since I posted this and I am doing a lot better than I was. I feel safe and comfortable in my house. I think I was intent on escaping my problems, which were with me even when at home. Now I have chosen to face them instead of running away, I have realised that I am more than capable of recovery, and worthy of a good future :) I wasn’t bullied by people near my house but I was bullied and rejected a lot in my childhood, which I think helped cause my anxiety in the first place. I have been “cultivating” my newfound houseplant hobby which has made a huge difference in feeling grounded and present recently! Thank you for the kind words :)
 
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wordypuzzler

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 1, 2020
Messages
138
Location
Uk
Hi, my parent's house is full of really horrible memories from my childhood that leave me feeling like it's unsafe to stay here and like I'm going to be hurt. There is currently no way to move out because it would cause me to really struggle financially no matter what help I could get. I'm looking for advice on how to feel safe at home? I have this constant anxiety that has even caused me to try to run away. I know I'm not in danger but my brain doesn't. Is there anything I could do or tell myself to lessen these feelings of being trapped, threatened and vulnerable? Thank you
Hi I know exactly how upsetting that feels
Childhood brings bad memories for me too.
I wonder, would you like your parents to put childhood reminders items in boxes or suitcases? Maybe ask them? Or take it as your own task? Possibly say it’s for tidying up reasons if you can’t say the truth? Would that help?

Wordy
 
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wordypuzzler

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Joined
Jun 1, 2020
Messages
138
Location
Uk
Thank you all. I currently have some of my boyfriend's items to sleep with, which really helps me feel safer. I used to sleep with a nightlight but I've weened myself off of that because it interferes with my quality of sleep (which is still awful because I have recurring bad dreams... last night I woke up 3 times). I use lots of diffusers to help calm me down as well. Maybe I should experiment with using lava lamps or something.
Hi do you have a note book and pen? Maybe try writing the dreams down? Some handy apps out there for dream meanings. I have used iDream that’s quite nice.
Or just websites of A to Z meanings :) weird stuff happens in dreams. Some recently have been naughty ones about / with men I’ve had no naughty thoughts of whatsoever.
 

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