How to deal ...

C

chunchun

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Jun 28, 2018
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Hello,

I don’t know if this is the right place and if it’s even worth asking about as it seems childish, yet not :unsure:

I’ve had moderate anxiety and depression for about 6 years now, coupled with an overactive brain and being overemotinal it’s not a great combination. I’ve been on meds for a couple years and they seem to take the edge off, but there still come times when it all seems too much. The last month especially it seems like I’m always too close to crying and tears flow for stupid reasons, I overthink and overanalyse things too much and it comes to misunderstandings easily on my part as I seem to take it the wrong way...

Anyway, the reason I was writing is, almost three weeks ago, before going on a two week holiday, I saw a friend, whom I think of like a brother. As usual I went to his workplace (I even asked a few times if he’s still ok with me coming over to talk there etc which he always said was fine). The day before I had found out that a close uncle had died and I wanted see him, as I always feel comforted and uplifted. When I mentioned this to him, he seemed kinda distant but I thought maybe he was stressed from work or something. Then he said two things that kinda hurt ... one was when he told me not to bring him anything back from holiday “nothing at all”. Which I know, as his other half doesn’t like me much and I know not to cause trouble for him that way. I feel guilty enough coming to see him at work ..
And then, after a little silence he said the thing that hurt, “Go home J, what are you even doing here?” ... and after a few minutes I did go cause I thought I’d cry (that kind of mood). Even the goodbye hug didn’t feel proper like usual. I came cause I wanted some comfort after hearing the family news and he never said that kinda of thing to me before ...

This whole things brought me into another negative spiral where I started doubting our friendship, I mean, maybe it’s just me seeing this as an important thing, being considerate of his situation and such ... then again, despite it he did see me at hospital, he gives hugs and advice and I know he cares, but he’s not one for sharing his feelings and expressing himself, so there are days where I wonder ... I heard from a friend that works with him that he asked her about me and then said “Ah, I pissed her off the other day”. Well if he knows that why not say it?

In total it’s been now three weeks and neither of us texted the other, even tho I’ve been on holiday we usually say a couple words now and then. Even after I returned a couple days ago there’s nothing. Today I was hoping to hear from him, but until now, nothing ... so I was wondering if maybe I should stop and just say ‘hi’ or wait and see.
I miss talking to him, but I don’t want him to say stuff to me without thinking ... am I being too childish about this? I don’t want to keep getting in these situations ... logically I know that it’s a misunderstanding or something, but can’t help what I feel ...

Ah, sorry about the rambling -.-

Appreciate the help,
ChunChun.
 
Poopy Doll

Poopy Doll

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If you know his other half doesn't like you much, then you know this is in the back of his mind when he deals with you. When he asked you why you are even there visiting him, he is indirectly trying to say something about your relationship to him.

That's how I see it from what you shared/wrote.
 
T

Twokiwisandabanana

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Jun 23, 2016
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That was quite rude to say go home what re you doing here
I would be upset too
Sending a:hug1:
 
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