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E

Eigau

Guest
http://www.mentalhealthforum.net/forum/thread107262.html

Deaing with critical voices is much like dealing with critical people you can apply the same principles to voices. Some points I got from the article:

1. Do not become defensive [can perpetuate a cycle of argumentation]

2. Criticisms are a projection of their own issues, [Often insecurity and low self worth]

3. Do not stay silent, this is because voices can interpret your silence as acceptance and keep criticising

4. Be assertive [yet not hostile; do not raise your voice keep it mild but firm]

5. Back yourself up with behaviour [This means not doing the things the voices tell you to do; This can be hard but it's important to reinforce your words with actions]

6. [Never resort to screaming or outbursts; It gives them more power; Always remain mild]

7. Give voices feedback. [It's ok to let the voices know how they make you feel; remain mild while saying something like "It's important for you to know that I feel (A) and (B) when you say that"

8. [It's important to say affirmations to yourself; Any criticisms from the voices can be translated into more useful affirmations]

9. [Reinforce your words by actions; show yourself that your care for yourself by some nurturing activity; Have a wash, get dressed up, go for a walk, enjoy the scenery]

10. Take a break from the relationship; [if all the other things fall into place, you may find that voices will naturally give you more space as your boundaries become clear. The relationship will turn from an abusive one to a more positive and constructive one.]

Take care,

Te
 
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F

flatz

Guest
I think they're all good, it's this one.


5. Back yourself up with behaviour [This means not doing the things the voices tell you to do; This can be hard but it's important to reinforce your words with actions]
I like this one, If the voices tell me to pour an hot beverage over my dog I did'nt do it, Although I don't recall any but what about instructions that may help and be beneficial?
 
LORD BURT

LORD BURT

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I tend to ignore all of it. Point 2 is a subject killer.
 
E

Eigau

Guest
I think they're all good, it's this one.




I like this one, If the voices tell me to pour an hot beverage over my dog I did'nt do it, Although I don't recall any but what about instructions that may help and be beneficial?
Flatz, I think it's a balancing act personally. I gauge how much of everything I do, making sure not to do too much and trying to be reasonable to do the things that are beneficial. But always being aware of how my actions affect the voices. It's a bit like food for them and you have to limit how much food you give them, not too much and not too little if you are going to have a good relationship with them,

Take care, Te
 
E

Eigau

Guest
I tend to ignore all of it. Point 2 is a subject killer.
How has ignoring the voices been working for you Brat? I thin one needs lots of different methods because the voices are so good at adapting to new things. I'm constantly coming up with new methods which is not easy.

Point 2: Reminded me of information I read about Bullying. Bullies often have been bullied themselves and project that on to others - so in that sense it comes from Insecurity and low self worth or trying to make themselves feel good by berating others. Hope that makes sense.

Take care, Te
 
L

LM1974

Guest
Thanks for the ideas, may I add to the list, any creative activity that gets you out of the left brain (critical) and into the right brain (creative).

I do drawing and colouring in - even brought a kids colouring in book. It is relaxing and an escape.
 
LORD BURT

LORD BURT

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Messages
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Location
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How has ignoring the voices been working for you Brat? I thin one needs lots of different methods because the voices are so good at adapting to new things. I'm constantly coming up with new methods which is not easy.

Point 2: Reminded me of information I read about Bullying. Bullies often have been bullied themselves and project that on to others - so in that sense it comes from Insecurity and low self worth or trying to make themselves feel good by berating others. Hope that makes sense.

Take care, Te
Generally I feel tactics and strategy are overkill. So yeah, I just try to remain passive.
 
SarahD

SarahD

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Thanks Te for the ideas.

Generally I try to ignore them. I never talk back to them.

Maybe it is time to try a new approach. It is hard to think of talking to them when they make me feel bad. I suppose I could try first with the one that isn't critical, but he just talks nonsense.
 
E

Eigau

Guest
Hi SaraD, do any of the voices respond to you if you say something? That's where it will be easiest to start. Nonsensical voices may need another voice to reach to them before they become interactive. So there are different stages of approach to voices. In my opinion, once they are interactive then a dialogue can start and the process of healing can begin. Here is the process that got me to where I am now:

1. Search
2. Determine
3. Test
4. Interact

I will start a thread about this process and see if it is helpful to others.

Take care, Te.
 
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