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How to deal with bad memories that make me cringe/feel ashamed?

Miguel

Miguel

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Dec 13, 2020
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Spain
How to deal with bad memories that make me cringe/feel ashamed?
 
2UnicOrn7

2UnicOrn7

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Jun 9, 2021
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Location
UK
Hi Miguel,

We cannot erase memories, good or bad. However, try and think of the bad memories as a lesson to kind of learn from. Think of why these memories make you cringe/feel ashamed and take it from there. Also, reflect on your good memories too.

Hope this helps.
 
R_Sxo

R_Sxo

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Apr 24, 2017
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Pyongyang, DPRK
I think acceptance is really important here, but it takes time. Accepting that the memory is in the past, and that there's nothing we can do to change that. Forgiving ourselves for the situation. And eventually, moving forward in life and allowing ourselves to let bygones be bygones x
 
P

Purpleplum

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I stop it when it starts and think about something pleasant.
 
miss_sensitivity

miss_sensitivity

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May 12, 2021
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New Zealand
This is something I've had to learn how to deal with too. Sometimes I am able to consciously switch my focus into the present moment. So as soon as a memory comes up, I acknowledge that it is there, take a deep breath, then put my attention into whatever is happening around me. I've gotten to a point where sometimes that is now enough to help.

Another technique my counsellor told me to try was this: When the memory pops up, acknowledge it, and thank that part of myself for trying to remind me, but that I no longer need it to remind me because that no longer serves me... that I am grateful for the lessons I learnt from that moment, that it was a different time, and I am a different person (or whatever works in relation to the specific memory). <-- this might seem a little more out there to some people, but it really helps me. It allows me to separate myself from that shame and pain in a healthy way, because I'm acknowledging and not just pushing it back down.
 
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