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how to deal with a relative with personality diorder


[email protected]

New member
Nov 27, 2008
Hi everyone,

My sister and I are at our wit's end as to how to handle our sister C. I believe that she has a form of paranoid personality disorder. She has spent many years posted overseas, her husband worked for a merchant bank and she probably felt very isolated at times. They returned to England eight years ago, and we soon realised that there was something wrong. She would blame or accuse one of the family of having forgotten to send her a thankyou card if we were invited for dinner ( she only lives a few yards away, but finds it hard to just pop in, everything has to be formally arranged.) , she accused my ageing aunt of having had an affair with a friend of her hubands, this supposedly happened years ago. When I stayed with her in her home in France she called me later saying 'dont think you can have a cheap skate holiday on us' all of her phone calls are usually made when she has had a drink and as she gets drunker she gets more abusive. I have had to stop talking to her altogether which makes me feel even worse. My poor sister M gets a phone call on a regular basis, and C likes nothing better to belittle M, calling her a retard, bigot etc. and when M put the phone down, C left a message saying ha ha got you going there didnt I. I could go on and on, she has the classic paranoid personality, and it is impossible for us to deal with it. Her husband appears to agree with her feelings about M and I, ( so she says) saying that she should stop communicating with us. No one every discusses these terrible problems, so nothing ever gets done about them. Her son and daughter are in America and they have never spoken to us about these problems everything is hidden under the carpet and the sitution is causing my sister M great distress. C called M and said 'even if I dont want to have anything to do with you, is it alright if I visit your son and daugher in law to see their little girl F. This was because C's granddaughter was over and she wanted them to meet. M wrote to ( as someone suggested trying in some way to state her point of view about C's problems, but now C calls her up, and starts going through the letter, misinterpreting it and becoming abusive as usual.

Is there anything that we can do ? She always transmits, never receives, you cant help her because she thinks she is in the right, and that we are uncaring people which is far from the truth. Thanks for listening to me.

Last edited by a moderator:


Hi Patricia and welcome

All I can think of is writing a letter to her GP

It is possible that Christine is unaware of her own actions

[email protected]

New member
Nov 27, 2008
how to deal with personality disorder

Thank you very much for taking the time to reply. That is very sound advice and I will pass the info onto my sister.

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