How to cope?

[Missfit]

Well, i'm new here so sorry to get into it when on a downer. I've had Bipolar & BPD for 15, nearly 16yrs & *maybe* all my life, nobody's sure. How do you all cope? Day to day I struggle to get from my bed to the pc which is maybe 1m away, can't go out or cook, get dressed or have a bath. I don't have friends or family that can help offline, and have a physical illness that leaves me in pain most days. I just dunno how much longer I can take it.
I've been told when I see my Consultant on Monday he'll probably increase one of my meds, but i'm hardly taking them, crazy I know I need to, but i've got no will to live, I know they help & I bring it on myself by not taking them, but all I seem to be able to do is sleep. It's almost like i've given up.
I wish I could just escape & get away from it all or talk to someone, to just hear another voice. I'm not coping with thinking i'm almost 30 & i'll never have kids or a life. Sorry to be so depressing, just had to get that out.

 

[lucid scream]

i hate the meds too. i really do. but i have found that when i take them, i stay out of the psych ward, and can function to at least some degree.
but they still suck.

 

[herbie]

Sometimes I don't think I cope either. But I'm lucky I have support, good friends, my mum. I certainly wouldn't cope on my own.

 

[Apotheosis]

I'll clamber into the same boat & join you all.

 

[chesya]

In managing to leave my wife and accepting what at first seemed like the humiliation of moving back with my parents, I've realised how important relationships are in my mental health. The psychological oppression and control I allowed my wife to exercise over me actually over-road the symptoms of my illness and made it more difficult to diagnose and treat. Having lived now in a relatively positive environment with my Mother, a brother and my sister, my treatment seems to be clicking into place.

I'm especially lucky with my elder brother who has got me out of scrapes all my life. Recently he got me through a very real seeming delusion that my father was a child molestor who had interfered with my genitals (he hadn't, but I believed it and wanted to really hurt him) and through a severe six hour suicidal depression, which I'm sure would have been longer and more dangerous without him.

A creative outlet has been vital too and got me to a place where I could work out how to escape my relationship. I used to be an artist but lost a lot of skill after a nervous collapse 6 years ago. My drawing seems incompetent by the previous standards I had attained even as a teenager, but I've got over that because it's the content that's important. So I would advise anyone feeling bad about getting into artistic stuff to try and forget how their work might seem to others and just go for it because it can help make sense of the worst chaos.

So, I've been lucky with some of my relationships and the creative outlets, but I've had to work on them and even fight for them too, I could have easily stopped artwork and never started writing and at one point lost contact with all my family and previous friends. It's the same with getting the right medical treatment and support, you have to battle for it even if it seems totally impossible sometimes.

Try to remember that you have the right to strive for the best of everything you can get by way of support, relationships and treatment.