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How to cope with being depressed and alone

J

Jim4120

Member
Joined
Jan 4, 2015
Messages
24
Location
Texas, USA
Any suggestions?

I feel very alone right now. I'm quite depressed. No one around me understands what I'm going through. They say they do, but then when I try to reach out for help, all they want to do is tell me how I'm doing everything wrong. Or they don't want to hear it, because they don't want to deal with it. I tell someone I'm depressed and I get a long sigh, or a "Not again," or a "I can't deal with you right now." What the fuck, I thought you cared? Why this attitude from people who claim to understand that I'm dealing with a mental illness? Would I get this same attitude from people if it were a physical one? I highly doubt it. In fact I know it. When I've seen people in pain from physical illnesses, and they talk about their pain, no one says, "I can't deal with you right now, just deal with it yourself." Why are the support systems different? Why? No one helps me, and that makes me more depressed, which makes me more alone, which makes me even more depressed, etc. How do I get out of this vicious cycle? I know I might get back to the "high" of my bipolar condition, but what if I don't make it this time? And even then, if I get there, I'll eventually just start getting mad at everyone for moving too slow, for not taking action, for being complacent, etc. Everyone annoys me when I'm like that. No one can "keep up" with me. I get so impatient and I get pissed off, at the world, at myself. I just want to feel normal, but those times are rare, few and far between. Blissful island paradises that I live on briefly before I have to return to my "reality." I need help, but no one helps me, family, friends, doctors, no one gives a shit. I don't know what to do...
 
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E

Eigau

Former member
I read an article yesterday about loneliness. It said things like:

Things to do:

Assume the best - avoid assuming why people may have left you out

Avoid sweeping assertions - such as "I will never..." and "I will always..."

Be willing to befriend the elderly - they have a lot of wisdom to share

Appreciate the benefits of solitude

I like the last one, because in solitude I find the time to reflect on things or do some work.

Take care. Te
 
StillFighting

StillFighting

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 28, 2014
Messages
508
Hi Jim, I understand your frustration. I have felt this way so many times, I've had my feelings invalidated and I've been told that I'm not trying hard enough. It made me angry, I often wished I had a physical illness, then maybe people would show some compassion. It's difficult, and I'm sorry you're not being heard.

I remember you mentioning in a previous post seeing a psychologist, and possibly referred to a psychiatrist. How is that going?

Just an idea, do you think it might be helpful to look for support groups in your area? (I mean, in real life support groups). I know it's something I've considered for myself, I thought maybe I could relate better with other people dealing with similar issues.

Another thing I've tried in the past was volunteering. I found flexible volunteering opportunities, either at shelters, or elderly's homes. It's important of course to find something that you'd feel comfortable with, and not something that will exhaust you even more. I know it did help me for some time.
 
J

Jim4120

Member
Joined
Jan 4, 2015
Messages
24
Location
Texas, USA
Thanks for the posts everyone, it's nice to have some support online, even if i don't in real life.

I read an article yesterday about loneliness.

I'll try the suggestions for dealing with loneliness, and see if it helps me any.

I remember you mentioning in a previous post seeing a psychologist, and possibly referred to a psychiatrist. How is that going?

I'm still waiting to see the psychologist. She originally evaluated me last year, at the end of August. I was then scheduled for testing. It was supposed to be at the beginning of September, but ended up being at the end of September because the tester couldn't make the original appointment. Then sometime at the beginning of November I made an appointment to try and start therapy . My appointment was scheduled for about two weeks ago. My original date was canceled by the psychologist, I rescheduled, and then was canceled on again. I've yet to hear back from the office to reschedule another appointment. I'll try calling tomorrow to see if I can. The date I had rescheduled was the only one available this month, so now it'll be at least the middle of February, but I don't know how long it'll really be, since it was canceled again, and probably more space has been filled by other appointments since I found that out. I've been hoping that she'll be able to refer me to another psychiatrist, but I have no idea when I'll be able to get an appointment with one with the referral, or, now, even when I'll see the psychologist.

do you think it might be helpful to look for support groups in your area?

There are no support groups anywhere close to my area. The closest one is prohibitively far away.

Another thing I've tried in the past was volunteering.

I've thought about trying this, but it's hard for me to even leave the house nowadays, I have major trouble being around people anymore. I might have to postpone trying this until I can get some kind of treatment. I don't really know to be honest.
 
E

Eigau

Former member
Yes I agree, volunteering helps keep you busy, it's effective too because it shifts the focus to helpings others and that may have a reciprocal effect. Why not start with something like a forum show yourself to be supportive of other members and you might get noticed by staff :) You never never know you might find yourself volunteering online somewhere and that could be a good start. Take care, Te
 
K

Katss

Former member
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Apr 2, 2013
Messages
2,979
Alone in Texas? It always looks such sunny monied fun on TV over here, and the place is awash with gas and oil meaning money yes? Shows how reality and fantasy don't mix. It's bad to feel alone but as others have said try to embrace it, or, go out and about where you live, have a walk drink a coffee the coffe places look great in Texas? But I also know that when feeling really lonely you may not feel to be compatible with other humans, and if you do you see people are just bodding about, and you say you want help start to implement what help you want/need can get counselling?

Also don't get fooled into thinking that everyone out there is having a great time they usually are just getting through like you.

As an aside, it's very telling how many out of towners and Anericans are posting on forum? What gives in your own countries guys there must be forums a plenty?
 
J

Jim4120

Member
Joined
Jan 4, 2015
Messages
24
Location
Texas, USA
Alone in Texas? It always looks such sunny monied fun on TV over here, and the place is awash with gas and oil meaning money yes?

Most of that money is owned by the oil companies and the higher ups. The actual workers and people living here see much less of that. This is especially true in the rural areas, like where I live, and they can be quite poor areas overall. The cities are much better off actually, but the average job in my town pays less <$20,000/year.

Shows how reality and fantasy don't mix.

^This

It's bad to feel alone but as others have said try to embrace it, or, go out and about where you live, have a walk drink a coffee the coffe places look great in Texas?

The cities, sure, but not in the small East Texas town I live in. We don't have any coffee shops around. A couple of bars, but I'm not that big into drinking.

can get counselling?

Trying to get started on this with a psychologist, but it hasn't been easy. The attitude of people in the area where I live about mental health doesn't help.

As an aside, it's very telling how many out of towners and Anericans are posting on forum? What gives in your own countries guys there must be forums a plenty?

Don't know about any others, but this is just the first one I found. I didn't really know it was mostly people in the UK when I first posted here.
 
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K

Katss

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so why so many Americans posting in this forum? why is a logical question?
 
Kirkpatrick

Kirkpatrick

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Jan 4, 2015
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Location
Southeastern U.S.
JIm, I've just come to accept that most people don't understand what its like to be inside a mind with bipolar. Even if they truly wanted to, you are most likely dealing with something out of their frame of reference, so it may simply not be possible for them to fully understand. It can be frustrating, but dealing with stuff like this is just part of the daily grind. As for physical illness, I have a nerve tumor. As you might imagine, a nerve tumor can be painful, but even with physical pain, I find that people quickly grow tired of having to "deal with it". I think the people just don't like being around illness in general. Think about it, hospitals are open all day and all night and don't cost anything to go to, but no one hangs out there. Aversion to illness may just be a natural trait of humans. Hang in there and keep at it, I think that you are doing a great job.

Katss, Google "England vs Texas Size", you'll see just how huge Texas is. Texas has big cities and also deserts full of nothing, so there will be a large variety of what life is like from locations in different parts of the state. As to why so many Americans, most English language site are filled up with Americans unless the site is a niche site about certain subjects.

You can do it Jim.
 
K

Katss

Former member
Joined
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Messages
2,979
Bit like Britain regards wealth. With respect kirck have also diagnosed bi-polar and everyones struggle is very different? Also made the analogy that reality and the picture re wealth is very misleading and yes people are allergic to illness especially mental health conditions.
 

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