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How to cope and heal from Trauma?

M

mlwhitney45

Guest
Hi, I'm Michelle. I'm involved in three different support groups to get any help, advice, tips, knowledge, and ways to overcome mental/emotional trauma in my life. I don't struggle with PTSD, but do have trauma in general. I've struggled with this since I was a teenager and more so in my adult years. To me, trauma is trauma, no matter how big or small.

A lot of people say time heals all wounds, but I don't think that's been the case in my life. I think it just teaches us to live with the pain and acknowledge that it's real. I feel we just have to learn to cope with it. I already am doing certain things now, which includes journaling, reading positive & self-help books, as well as other positive things.

I tend to have several flashbacks from the emotional trauma and abuse I had dealt with for so long with toxic people. Now, I'm trying to work on myself as well as have somewhat of a normal relationship with someone more positive. But it seems everything's a trigger. He doesn't know what to say or do that isn't going to trigger a negative and automatic response, due to previous toxic and negative abuse. I still have a guard up and getting to know him little by little, and really taking things slow for myself. But, I tend to think anytime he says anything, it automatically makes me think of the trauma I had experienced and fear that I'm going to go through it all over again, and not sure how to stop thinking so negatively as if I'm living in the past. Not everyone's out to hurt me, and can't seem to think that no matter who I'm with, if that feeling will ever fade and accept that this guy is totally different, and learn to trust that there are good people out there. I'm so conditioned to the abuse and trauma that I'm used to. It's like the minute he does or says something a normal or positive way, I've heard it and felt it in a very toxic and negative way, and I automatically am on the defensive side.

So, how does one heal from trauma and toxicity, to feel normal and learn to trust that not everyone has a motive and out to hurt me? Will those negative thoughts ever go away? If so, how do you work on healing on the trauma and abuse, so I can feel normal and okay again?

Thank you.
 
Z

Zoe1

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2019
Messages
10,266
Location
Nowhere
hi mlwhitney45 :welcome: !

yes I get all that, I think of the healing process
like digging up a garden, overturning stones
I currenlyt have a good therapist to help with this
I also use support groups,
but I dont know how I would manage without the therapist

to have help to sit with the feelings,
to really give that part of myself a good clean
like doing the housework , or opening a drawer
something like that

im currently doing an online course
that says to ask why we have this feeling
what the feeling is about , what it means to us
and how we would prefer to feel

its alot of hard work but it does pay off

I hope you find it helpful here

:grouphug:🌅🌻🎼:goodluck::flowers:
 
M

mlwhitney45

Guest
Thank you so very much, I appreciate the kind feedback. I also wish you well and usually hard work does pay off in the end! :) Have a wonderful day!
 
D

Dotti18

New member
Joined
May 12, 2020
Messages
3
Location
Montrose
Hi, I'm Michelle. I'm involved in three different support groups to get any help, advice, tips, knowledge, and ways to overcome mental/emotional trauma in my life. I don't struggle with PTSD, but do have trauma in general. I've struggled with this since I was a teenager and more so in my adult years. To me, trauma is trauma, no matter how big or small.

A lot of people say time heals all wounds, but I don't think that's been the case in my life. I think it just teaches us to live with the pain and acknowledge that it's real. I feel we just have to learn to cope with it. I already am doing certain things now, which includes journaling, reading positive & self-help books, as well as other positive things.

I tend to have several flashbacks from the emotional trauma and abuse I had dealt with for so long with toxic people. Now, I'm trying to work on myself as well as have somewhat of a normal relationship with someone more positive. But it seems everything's a trigger. He doesn't know what to say or do that isn't going to trigger a negative and automatic response, due to previous toxic and negative abuse. I still have a guard up and getting to know him little by little, and really taking things slow for myself. But, I tend to think anytime he says anything, it automatically makes me think of the trauma I had experienced and fear that I'm going to go through it all over again, and not sure how to stop thinking so negatively as if I'm living in the past. Not everyone's out to hurt me, and can't seem to think that no matter who I'm with, if that feeling will ever fade and accept that this guy is totally different, and learn to trust that there are good people out there. I'm so conditioned to the abuse and trauma that I'm used to. It's like the minute he does or says something a normal or positive way, I've heard it and felt it in a very toxic and negative way, and I automatically am on the defensive side.

So, how does one heal from trauma and toxicity, to feel normal and learn to trust that not everyone has a motive and out to hurt me? Will those negative thoughts ever go away? If so, how do you work on healing on the trauma and abuse, so I can feel normal and okay again?

Thank you.
Hi Michelle. I have been abuse mentally buy firstly my stepdaughter and at the end my wife joined in. I note people says times heal but I can assure you that in my situation it just gets worse. I left the family home in 2016 and moved 567miles north to Scotland hoping that I could fix my brain but about a year ago I actually realised that this abuse was systematic and when I didn’t respond they just laid more on.i can’t tell you everything because this is not the place, I am trying to get help now but no one wants to listen so every morning I wake the first thought is off them. And this stays with me throughout the day until I take enough tamazapam to make me sleep. I know I need help because for the past 10 weeks I have been going down and down
we should not have to endure this pain forevermore
 
M

mlwhitney45

Guest
Good afternoon. I'm so sorry to hear about your experiences, and do understand that you can't discuss everything out in the open here. Feel free to message me if you'd like. But, don't let them control or manipulate you. That's all manipulation of what they're doing to you. Trust me, there are good people out there who do and will want to listen. If you ever need to talk, shoot me a message. Thank you for sharing your story and so very sorry, as that's very sad. I do wish you hope and healing. You're absolutely right, nobody should ever have to endure so much pain. We're all deserving of peace, love, and happiness. I hope you have a blessed and great evening. Thank you again.
 
D

Daringdan

Member
Joined
May 8, 2020
Messages
20
Location
Louisville, Ky
Hello Michelle, My faith has been pulling me through a lot, battles I have to fight everyday. If we can ever more and more learn to re-frame our suffering into the context of spiritual growth then it has ultimate meaning, like this meaning: how it draws us closer together to our maker and each other. I have also been experimenting with imaginative re-framing meditation sessions, somehow attempting to become more comfortable with the trauma by visualizing alternative contexts.

I'm still learning my self so if anyone has other methods I'd love to hear them.
 
M

mlwhitney45

Guest
Hello Michelle, My faith has been pulling me through a lot, battles I have to fight everyday. If we can ever more and more learn to re-frame our suffering into the context of spiritual growth then it has ultimate meaning, like this meaning: how it draws us closer together to our maker and each other. I have also been experimenting with imaginative re-framing meditation sessions, somehow attempting to become more comfortable with the trauma by visualizing alternative contexts.

I'm still learning my self so if anyone has other methods I'd love to hear them.
Good morning and thank you so much for your feedback. I wish you the best, as well as I. :)
 
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