
givethemhell
Well-known member
this may be silly but i'm genuinely asking.
i was raised not to question anything and learned that i wasn't allowed to say no or be angry.
i tried living my life this way and it was not healthy, at least i think so.
any time someone would bully me, i'd be nice to them.
any time someone said something that i felt strongly about disputing, i didn't.
any time anyone asked me if i felt a certain way, i answered the way i thought they wanted me to.
my entire life has been a lie to make others feel comfortable.
the past few years, this has all kind of come to a head and i've found my repressed beliefs and feelings have been boiling inside me. now i find myself disagreeing when i disagree. i find myself passionately advocating for my beliefs, and it always upsets people. it could be anywhere, whether at home with family or with people i barely know at a party.
some silly examples would be the time i disagreed with someone who said hunting was a form of vegetarianism, or the time at a party i disagreed with someone that sea world was good for marine animals because it put a spotlight on their plight.
i never get angry, i try to share perspective in the hopes they might see things a little differently, especially if it's a subject they don't really care about and don't know much about.
but those are just two examples. it doesn't ever matter what evidence i have. it just feels like i'm always wrong to everyone else no matter how kindly i say it.
is it normal to just nod and agree or not say anything when someone says something you know in your bones is wrong to you? is it normal not to follow through on your strong convictions just so other people feel comfortable?
i'm seriously asking. because this has really made me a pariah to people. maybe i'm the one being inappropriate and i just don't know it, but i just don't understand how that can be. so many people are celebrated for standing up for what they believe in, but i always just seem to disgust and annoy people. and i sure as heck never change anyone's perspective.
i was raised not to question anything and learned that i wasn't allowed to say no or be angry.
i tried living my life this way and it was not healthy, at least i think so.
any time someone would bully me, i'd be nice to them.
any time someone said something that i felt strongly about disputing, i didn't.
any time anyone asked me if i felt a certain way, i answered the way i thought they wanted me to.
my entire life has been a lie to make others feel comfortable.
the past few years, this has all kind of come to a head and i've found my repressed beliefs and feelings have been boiling inside me. now i find myself disagreeing when i disagree. i find myself passionately advocating for my beliefs, and it always upsets people. it could be anywhere, whether at home with family or with people i barely know at a party.
some silly examples would be the time i disagreed with someone who said hunting was a form of vegetarianism, or the time at a party i disagreed with someone that sea world was good for marine animals because it put a spotlight on their plight.

i never get angry, i try to share perspective in the hopes they might see things a little differently, especially if it's a subject they don't really care about and don't know much about.
but those are just two examples. it doesn't ever matter what evidence i have. it just feels like i'm always wrong to everyone else no matter how kindly i say it.
is it normal to just nod and agree or not say anything when someone says something you know in your bones is wrong to you? is it normal not to follow through on your strong convictions just so other people feel comfortable?
i'm seriously asking. because this has really made me a pariah to people. maybe i'm the one being inappropriate and i just don't know it, but i just don't understand how that can be. so many people are celebrated for standing up for what they believe in, but i always just seem to disgust and annoy people. and i sure as heck never change anyone's perspective.
