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How to change it? Sick of being his maid..

A

abertha

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 11, 2008
Messages
69
I'll try and keep it short..

I moved with my other half to his home country, dropped everything going on in my life so he could learn a new skill. I have been trying for 15 months to get a job here, without success. This means I have become his bitch, I have to do ALL the cleaning and everything, eg. this morning he went through my closet looking for god knows what, and he leaves a huge pile of clothes on the floor which he expects me to tidy up. Stuff like this happens a lot.

Also, I am only here for him to work - and he RARELY goes in to work. He wakes up and says, I don't want to leave you today...in any other situation that would be sweet, but GO THE F*CK TO WORK.

Also, he promised me an xmas shopping trip on Monday, but then the day before he cancelled and said he *had* to work...but he woke up monday morning and rolled over, saying he wasn't going in. What the hell?? So he changed it to Wednesday (today) and then last night, he cancelled again.

I know it must be something I am doing, so I guess the question is, how do I get to not be his bitch anymore? And how should I tell him about these things that annoy me, without making him mad? :confused:
 
A

abertha

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 11, 2008
Messages
69
Oh dear. Quite embarrassing when no one replies. Thanks to who read it anyway :grouphug:
 
unlucky

unlucky

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Mar 21, 2009
Messages
2,858
Location
Glasgow
Sorry you've not got any replies, I'm not really sure what to say!! To me its obvious and I'd tell him to get off his arse and do something and I just wouldn't be picking up after him, but then everyone is different and thats maybe just the sort of relationship I'm in!! If I were you I'd definately have to say something though, he might not even know hes doing anything wwrong!! If you don't say anything then it'll just fester and you'll end up blowing your top at him. Not sure if this helps but I hate it when I get no replies!!
 
L

Lil

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 6, 2009
Messages
114
Sounds to me like a lack of respect on his part. But I don't really know your situation so cant really comment too much.

I have in the past been in a relationship with someone out of work for nearly a year and i was doing long hours and being the financial support (paying all the bills). I expected rather than playing video games all day he at least clean up and prepare dinner now and then. With my working 9 hours plus travel time one hour a day of his time seemed fair to save me having to do it when i got home. That said i was working every day :)

But there is no excuse for anyone treating their partners like a housemaid. There needs to be equality in effort and workload.
 
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