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How to be powerful?

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Tony12Max

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I'm an addict. I don't know how I got this disease but it has infected me so much.

The problem is that internet is full of explicit contents, no matter how hard I try to keep myself but always I end up searching for those materials (especially videos) and the feeling of guilt takes over me. It feels like I have lost myself.

Please help with your experience.
 
calypso

calypso

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YOu can't say things on the forum that are sexually explicit. You can use general terms that don't cross that line
 
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Tony12Max

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YOu can't say things on the forum that are sexually explicit. You can use general terms that don't cross that line
I'm an that addict. I'm taking fluoxetine tablets to keep me from doing that, I have not caused any social problems yet but I think it's right time to use my full power to stop it.

Internet is one of the biggest factor that has caused me this disease, I can't stop using internet I have to work on it.
 
calypso

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As with all addictions you need support to overcome it. Wanting to change is the first step and a strong one. I don't know what is available in India but here in the UK we have sex addiction support groups. Do you have anything like that?

Do you manage to get out and meet people and get a good social life? Changing habits that way can help.
 
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Tony12Max

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As with all addictions you need support to overcome it. Wanting to change is the first step and a strong one. I don't know what is available in India but here in the UK we have sex addiction support groups. Do you have anything like that?

Do you manage to get out and meet people and get a good social life? Changing habits that way can help.
If I were to go to some psychiatrist or somebody, then my family would die of shame. I want to change my habit, I read Out Of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction everyday, but I don't know...

The main thing I want to know from you is why do I keep on doing it (watching and fantasizing and doing that unethical thing with my genitals) even when I no longer get any pleasure from it?
 
calypso

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Its not unethical as such. You are taking the right steps by reading the book. Does it give you insights into how to overcome your addiction? I think looking into Mindfulness might help. I don't know for sure as I don't have this type of addiction. We have a VERY brief introduction into it here but you need to look it up on the internet for more depth.

 
calypso

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Are there support forums on the internet? Just a thought. But I would look up the cycle of addiction on the internet and realise that its an addiction like any other. I found this:

 
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Tony12Max

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Are there support forums on the internet? Just a thought. But I would look up the cycle of addiction on the internet and realise that its an addiction like any other. I found this:

I will read those links a few times more, and after that if I get some problem I will ask you.

Thank you so much for helping me. You’re too kind.
 
calypso

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Your mind is in a rut. Its not quick or easy to get it out of that rut. You have to replace the rut with another one which is healthier but it takes time and effort. You won't overcome this easily but others have managed it and you can too.
 
Schitzoaffective007

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Are you talking about porn or other obscene content? I assume you are talking about porn. I'd say just limit it to an hour or so a day. No need to feel guilty. Lots of people pay for sex...and this becomes a "hobby." At least you aren't out there buying women off the street although it sounds like you could be headed in that direction if you look at porn too much. PM me if you want. I've been there.
 
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Tony12Max

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Are you talking about porn or other obscene content? I assume you are talking about porn. I'd say just limit it to an hour or so a day. No need to feel guilty. Lots of people pay for sex...and this becomes a "hobby." At least you aren't out there buying women off the street although it sounds like you could be headed in that direction if you look at porn too much. PM me if you want. I've been there.
Yes, I’m talking about porn and doing that with my genitals. I too feel that buying is not very far away, if it’s gonna be like this then one day the lunatic in my head will use my body to offend some innocent in society.

I want to stop, I have read that my brain do those acts because it is need of happiness and doing those things releases the dopamine, but I have done it so much that my receptors are damaged and I can no longer feel pleasure from it or anything.

I have really liked what @calypso has called Mindfulness , but how to do everyday work if I were to follow the Mindfulness.

Any suggestion or even just a normal talking will be highly appreciated.
 
Schitzoaffective007

Schitzoaffective007

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How many times a day to you do "that?" Maybe there's nothing wrong with "that" unless it is stopping you from gaining a relationship with a real woman. Maybe you beat yourself up over it too much or maybe it does need to be addressed. Only a therapist can tell you. Can you see one? If you graduate to buying women, the only thing is, many of them are con artists and somewhat dangerous. They like to take advantage of people like take their money and not perform services. Most are hard drug addicts. Just not the type of people you want to do business with. But once you get addicted to buying women it can be an even harder habit to break, and you might spend less time trying to find a partner. Some have partners and do it behind their back because their partners don't perform certain acts or don't have sex with them much anymore. That and lots of single old men buy sex. It's a lot of money too if you do it a lot. Some people have that kind of money and some don't. If you don't have that kind of money to sustain such a habit, then that's the kind of thing you should think about to deter yourself from the habit. But as far as porn, it doesn't cost anything and it is easy to access. Maybe this is just a phase you are going through. Perhaps just try to limit yourself by just doing it on the weekends. Feeling guilty about it is just gonna cause you more stress and won't solve the problem. You should probably think your way out of this one and set small goals. But again, how does it really interfere with your life? Why do you feel it's a problem?
 
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Tony12Max

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But again, how does it really interfere with your life? Why do you feel it's a problem?
There are so many problems, for example I used to like videos with title “Mom caught son doing...” , “step sister and step brother ...” and alike, turned me into an a little of an exhibitionist (I became unclad in such a way that it looks normal, I was going for bath, but my intention was that our housemaid should see me).

The other problem is whenever I meet with some woman, I have no control over my mind and I start thinking about her private parts (a kind fanatsy). This is clearly a rape that I do with my mind. When I reach home I imagine her unclad and we start doing sex (it’s all just a fantasy).

At last, the main problem is Why I cannot stop doing things that I don’t want to do ?
 
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