• Welcome! It’s great to see you.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

How much do you tell people?

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charlieblack5

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Just wondering how much people tell others about their anxiety/depression. I’ve opened up a bit to some friends, mostly about the anxiety, no one knows I have depression apart from my partner. I haven’t told my family, as my sister has anxiety. I’ve told her.

Then there’s my manager. I’ve told her about the anxiety and she seems concerned but seemed to think the solution was meeting up!! (NOT what I want). It’s so difficult, today has been so hard at work - my brain literally couldn’t function, I caught myself crying. I need to tell her that I think I need some time off, but don’t really know how to approach it.

Does anyone else find it difficult telling people? I find that I almost underplay when I just want to tell people no, listen, I’m in a BAD WAY. A friend the other day said that she was feeling anxiety about being out for a meal. I replied saying yes, normal, I’d feel the same. “Oh it was fine once we started eating and chatting!” Sigh.
 
MeAndMyDepression

MeAndMyDepression

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I used to divulge my illness to strangers, but now I don't. If the topic of mental illness comes up in conversation (how likely is that?), then I might say I have depression, but I'll leave it at that, unless they tease more out of me, in which case I'll divulge a little bit more.
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

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I used to divulge my illness to strangers, but now I don't. If the topic of mental illness comes up in conversation (how likely is that?), then I might say I have depression, but I'll leave it at that, unless they tease more out of me, in which case I'll divulge a little bit more.
I usually tell friends/relatives that I have depression too even though I have bipolar. It just seems more commonplace and easily acceptable than bipolar, less scary and easier to understand. xo, j
 
Wishbone

Wishbone

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Yeah that's true Jess, same with me, although close family know about my Bipolar and one friend does, anyone else or any other situation I'd just say I struggle with depression because, as you say, it's more understood or accepted. If I were you guys that have anxiety/depression only I would tell people because of how much more open everything is with that kind of stuff these days and I know that keeping things to yourself can increase them both. Take the weight off.
 
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Sugaree

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No one other than my husband and grown daughters know that I have an anxiety disorder and depression. I don’t like people commenting on my physical and mental health. I get too defensive and anxious, and I never talk about the ugly part of my childhood.
 
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bofbof

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I never told anyone. Once i tried to tell a person i trusted. But she didnt seem to care about me. It hurted me but thats okay,since I shouldnt expect much from people
 
TooMuchPain

TooMuchPain

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\_(ツ)_/
Its pretty obvious to anyone who knows me. I used to try and hide it but eventually it will come out. I would tell my significant other pretty much everything. And thats not really by choice because I’m someone who just can’t keep his mouth shut. But I really would want her to know. I would tell other people who experience this for themselves. I honestly don’t have one person to talk to in real life. I’m kinda at a point where I don’t really have a choice but to let you in.
 
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charlieblack5

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I think for me there’s still a sense of embarrassment. Weakness. I know that’s daft, but I don’t want people to pity me.

I’ve decided to open up to my manager tomorrow during our 1 to 1. I need to tell her I’m not in a good place (how much to tell!) and that I need some options as I’m finding work difficult to concentrate and engage with. I’m also concerned that if I do get some time off (ie longer than 2 weeks) what everyone I work with will think?? What will they be told? I’ve tried so hard to just keep going, keep moving, take each day, but I’m exhausted by it. It’s killing me.
 
TooMuchPain

TooMuchPain

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\_(ツ)_/
I think for me there’s still a sense of embarrassment. Weakness. I know that’s daft, but I don’t want people to pity me.

I’ve decided to open up to my manager tomorrow during our 1 to 1. I need to tell her I’m not in a good place (how much to tell!) and that I need some options as I’m finding work difficult to concentrate and engage with. I’m also concerned that if I do get some time off (ie longer than 2 weeks) what everyone I work with will think?? What will they be told? I’ve tried so hard to just keep going, keep moving, take each day, but I’m exhausted by it. It’s killing me.
I hope your meeting goes well tomorrow. Mental health issues at work are hard to deal with. I'm fortunate where I work now. But I did leave a job because it was too toxic and stressful for me.

Sometimes I have thought about dropping to a 4 day week. Meaning I take one day off a week until my holidays are used up.
 
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charlieblack5

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I hope your meeting goes well tomorrow. Mental health issues at work are hard to deal with. I'm fortunate where I work now. But I did leave a job because it was too toxic and stressful for me.

Sometimes I have thought about dropping to a 4 day week. Meaning I take one day off a week until my holidays are used up.
Thank you. They are a lovely team to be honest, and the job isn’t massively stressful. I do have a lot of calls/meetings and obviously some days are busier than others. I also feel like I’ll be letting people down, as I lead on a few projects. We’re only a small team too, so it would mean an increased workload for others... hopefully she’s understanding. But I don’t think she “gets” mental health. Not sure I do either!

I’ve also thought about dropping a day, but don’t really want to lose the money. As I say, I’m in quite a fortunate situation - decent pay, working from home, not massively stressful .. and yet, it’s become all so overwhelming. I just want to potter about in the house. Sit. Watch tv. Just have some time where I’m not thinking about stuff which, at this current time, I couldn’t give two hoots about. You know?
 
Blooming

Blooming

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I have only told those close to me that I am depressed. I don't want to be in "that role" among others. I want to feel like a free person among other free persons. Nobody has the right to know what I consider private.
 
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KittyCat92

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I bumped into someone I know that I haven’t seen in a while today and they asked me if I was alright and I all I wanted to do was say or yell NO I’M NOT OKAY! But what I actually said was, ‘yeah I’m doing alright thank you, how are you?’

There’s a couple of people, including the person I saw today, I really think I could trust to sit down with and talk to but I can never actually do it. I second guess it, think better of it and just go with ‘I’m good thank you’.
 
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Blues47

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I've made the mistake of opening up and I always regret it. However the longer life goes on the harder it is to hide. In recent years I've had to eject everyone from my life that was still willing to be in it at the distance I required. There's nothing now, no acceptable distance. People talk about having or not having a future, I have no present. It's not something one can talk about without scaring or confusing people.
 
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charlieblack5

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I don’t want to push people away, but I can feel myself doing it. Cancelling plans, not making an effort with them. I don’t want to see people, but I’m naive in thinking they’re still going to be around when I’m “better”. That’s why I’ve been telling people little bits - so they know I’m just not making an effort because I can’t be bothered, but because I’m not in a good place. I hate mental health and what it’s doing to me.
 
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charlieblack5

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I have only told those close to me that I am depressed. I don't want to be in "that role" among others. I want to feel like a free person among other free persons. Nobody has the right to know what I consider private.
I get that. I’m having a 1-1 with manager today, where I feel I need to say something. Basically they’ve organised monthly meet ups and i just can’t do it. Also work is stressing me out. But I hope he doesn’t ask lots of questions. I find that rude? There are boundaries.
 
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