How many peeps diagnosed with BPD are prescribed anti-psychotic medication?

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madsheep

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Jul 11, 2009
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Bedfordshire
*sigh* me and meds have a long horrid history, and they are something that keeps coming up in recent topic with my CPN and my psych doc.
I was, a whiiiile ago, told I 'just had depression'. I tried about 4 different AD's, the first of which was Fluoxatine and within a fortnight of taking them, got a new prescription and took the whole lot. This landed me on a psych ward where I was a 'volunteer' patient... (I tried to leave on numerous occasions and was told I could not leave and if I kept trying they would section me!).
Whilst there I tried 3 ADs. First gave me nightmares so bad I would scream in the middle of the night. Second made me go off of food completely. I barely eat for a fortnight, and the third... I saved up under my bed and took the lot again! eep.

Anyway. I was eventually discharged, only to end up being sectioned in a different hospital. I was dx with BPD and tried some more ADs. Not sure how many. quite a few... then I got out.... Sectioned again. This time I refused meds and so they forced them down me. Was given Quetiapine (or however you spell it). This made me go out of it for a while... sleeping a lot and stuff. so they tried another couple of APs.

Nothing helped.

When I started cooperating (and they changed docs) a mood stabilizer was mentioned. I got out and started Depekote. It was a god sent. My impulsivity was curbed (slightly) and my moods were not quite to severe. After a few months of being on the stuff I finally came out and told them that my OH and I had been trying for a baby for quite a while (except when I wasnt in hospital of course). They imidiately stopped the meds. Aparently Depekote gives mothers an increased chance that their child will have certain 'defects' including spina bifida.

So that was it.

I have been struggling with moods again. I am getting better at some stuff but my moods and impulsivity is at an all time high intesity (too much to handle). I did some research into other mood stabilizers and at the last docs meeting I put it to my doc that I would like to try something again.
He told me that Depekote was all he was willing to consider and that he didnt even want that.
I asked what else he could offer.... anyway there was a huge argument and subsequently I have changed pdocs.
(Bare with me, nearly done.)
My CPN asked me the other day if I still wanted meds.
I DONT WANT MEDS
But I just need something to help me handle my days you know. just get me through hour by hour without feeling life is so much effort alllll the time. So what do I do, do I fight for meds even though I dont really want them, or do I just go on suffering because they cant come up with an alternative?
 

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