How many chances do you give

[RedRoseBeauty]

to the person you love?

I've been with my boyfriend for 11 months and i really do love him, however the majority of the time in our relationship i haven't been happy.

He's lied to me, he's made me feel like the most unimportant thing in his life and he's really hurt me.

He must be on his like 10th chance now, thing is all i'm doing is waiting for him to screw up again because i've heard the whole 'i'll change babe i promise' story so many times but i just don't want to let go.

This is his final chance but i don't know if i should see how it goes or just end it
I've been a proper mess the past few weeks and now i am at the end of my teather.

Please help me

 

[Enpi]

I don't want to ruin your relationship or anything. I'll just tell you what I would've done, but it might not be the best solution at all.

I would tell him how much he has upset me, I would give him two or three chances to change and if it didn't work I would end the relationship because I wouldn't want to get more attached to him than I already am. As for you, I think now that you have decided to give him this eleventh chance, wait in the hope that he will use it but if he doesn't, then you had better not waste any more time for him. Just my humble opinion

 

[RedRoseBeauty]

yeah i think this really is his last chance,
i know that relationships aren't always smiles but i know they aren't meant to be tears most of the time.

Thanks

 

[SimonB]

I think you have to ask yourself 'How far do you want to go?' If your so unhappy is this far enough?

I mean that in caring way

 

[RedRoseBeauty]

yeah i know what you mean.

he does make me happy it's just that the majority of the time the bad outweigh the good :/

but this definately has to be his last i can't take feeling like crap anymore.

 

[Keturi]

I tend to only give 3 chances regardless how much I love the person at hand.

Once for being drunk, two for a mistake, three is pushing it and the fourth time I just tell them to leave and get out my life before I push them out completely.

However sometimes I think I take it too seriously and think that if you really like this person your willing to make it try no matter how hard or difficult it can be.

 

[ms_P]

My first real/true bf I met when I was around 20. He was/is the one. We still keep in touch on the phone & online. My life took a wrong turn and I ended up on another continent. I met a man who I thought I'd grow old & grey with, had two children together yet he dumped me on the street and took my babies away. I then met the so-called knight in shining armor who is Swiss and he has done his best to destroy me to make himself feel better because he hates his mother and can't admit it.

I seem to be a schmuck when it comes to men because I keep giving them limitless chances when they've all but dug my grave.

I say now (being almost 50),...3 strikes and you're out.

Good luck, as the affairs of the heart can't be measured in logic.

 

[Wendy]

Hi redrosebeauty
I've just split with my partner we'd been together over 3 years I bloody miss him.I couldn't cope with the argueing the way he'd put me down and tell me I was making him paranoid!? Apparently you can't make someone paranoid.
He made me feel bad towards the end I couldn't do any right and after he hit me for keeping him awake I couldn't forget and pretend things were okay no more chances can't live that stll love him it's pretty lonely but perhaps better that than be illtreated
I hope this helps you've got to know when to draw the line but only you can do this
wendy x

 

[RedRoseBeauty]

Wendy you are very strong for moving away from this man, nobody should be in an abusive relationship!


Well he is slowly but surely changing i will give him his due but we spoke this weekend and i said to him if you love me why did you ignore me when i asked for little changes, i have never asked for much and he said he didn't know.
When i ended it the other week he realised how serious i was and he realised he really could lose the girl who loves him like she has never loved another and he is slowly changing but he now knows one mess up and he's out. There are plenty of other guys out there who would treat me like a princess.

Thanks for all the advice guys it's been really important to me!