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How long in a new relationship do I tell her I am bipolar

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Salador

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Hello, I'm currently single, but I got in the game after 4 years, I am wondering now if I get a girl after how long I should tell her I'm bipolar? I mean I will not tell her in the first date.
 
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hairybanana

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Hello, I'm currently single, but I got in the game after 4 years, I am wondering now if I get a girl after how long I should tell her I'm bipolar? I mean I will not tell her in the first date.
Maybe once you wife her. Haha no jokes. I think things like that come up on their own in good time. Wouldn't worry about setting a time or moment when it needs to come out, it'll happen
 
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Underdog21

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Hello, I'm currently single, but I got in the game after 4 years, I am wondering now if I get a girl after how long I should tell her I'm bipolar? I mean I will not tell her in the first date.
Hi Salador,

I am Romanian myself living in the UK who also suffers from Bipolar. I think you should let her know as soon as you get into a relationship with her. Maybe in the beginning you can let her know your depressed and later on tell her you're bipolar.
 
S

Salador

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Hi Salador,

I am Romanian myself living in the UK who also suffers from Bipolar. I think you should let her know as soon as you get into a relationship with her. Maybe in the beginning you can let her know your depressed and later on tell her you're bipolar.
Won't that scare her?
 
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Underdog21

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Won't that scare her?
The reality is that you are dealing with a mental health issue. If you are trying to get into a serious relationship I think it's better if she knows from the get go so you won't waste your time or hers. If you are just hooking up for sex then she doesn't need to know all these details. Ultimately it's your choice.
 
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hairybanana

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Won't that scare her?
It’s not something you’re required to disclose like you’re at a job interview or something. Its your mental health, it’s your shit to share with people when you’re ready to. I certainly wouldn’t trust a girl I’d just met with any of my shit. I was with my ex for 10 years and there were things she didn’t know about my until 4 or 5 years, maybe 6 years down the road.
 
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Underdog21

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It’s not something you’re required to disclose like you’re at a job interview or something. Its your mental health, it’s your shit to share with people when you’re ready to. I certainly wouldn’t trust a girl I’d just met with any of my shit. I was with my ex for 10 years and there were things she didn’t know about my until 4 or 5 years, maybe 6 years down the road.
I don't think that's fair for the person on the other side to be hiding something like that for so long. After all if he/she can't accept me for who I am (with the good and the bad) then I don't want to be with that person anyway. Why keeping something secret just to hope they will stick around? Yeah don't share about your mental health with random people, but if feelings and time is invested in a relationship I think you ought to at least let the other person know you have an illness.
 
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hairybanana

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I don't think that's fair for the person on the other side to be hiding something like that for so long. After all if he/she can't accept me for who I am (with the good and the bad) then I don't want to be with that person anyway. Why keeping something secret just to hope they will stick around? Yeah don't share about your mental health with random people, but if feelings and time is invested in a relationship I think you ought to at least let the other person know you have an illness.
I guess i see it differently. It’s not like it’s something I see as keeping secret, because it’s not something I’m trying to hide and hope they never find out. It’s just waiting until I’m comfortable enough and can trust them with that information. If I don’t trust them with that information, I won’t talk to them about it. That’s just me though
 
Wishbone

Wishbone

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I think you should lay it out straight away, anything else is a waste of time, potentially for both of you. Why bother spending 4 months getting to know someone when you might only find out if they'll run a mile or not when things get tough after all that time? By then you've got feelings to burn. That won't help matters. Imagine hitting a depression and then saying "Oh yeah, this can happen because I've got Bipolar" and she says that she doesn't want any part of something like that. You'll be left alone and depressed. Bad combination!
When my toe is back in the dating pool I'll be telling straight away, put it that way.
 
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Comorbidity

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I had a few girls stalk me after my mother of all episodes, I was actually manic for a long time because it took so long for diagnosis, I wouldn't entertain a relationship with any of them and wouldn't now either because interaction like that, well, I can't trust it, it's very sporadic since that episode, which I can deal with away from everything and everyone and without stress, as it happens, but not as intensely, but no way could I trust that in a relationship or trying to enter back into society.

like my avoidance of society and all the triggers and stimulus for my PTSD and bipolar, I avoid that out of responsibility and a duty of care, to myself and others

If I had money I would probably go to prostitutes, as my second PTSD around sex seems ok with prostitutes, although I only ever went for bow jobs though
 
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celticlass

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Well you check out the person's attitude to mental illness. If the attitude is not supportive of your situation either educate or just move on.
 
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